A Day at a Time Reflections

"What if..." How often we hear these words from newcomers to the Gamblers Anonymous Program. How often, in fact, we tend to say them ourselves. "What if I lose my job?" "What if my car breaks down?" "What if I get sick and can't work?" "What if my child gets hooked on drugs?" What if anything our desperate imaginings can project? Only two small words, yet how heavy-laden they are with dread, fear,...

Before we came to Gamblers Anonymous, fear ruled our lives. Tyrannized by our addictions and obsessions, we feared everything and everybody. We feared ourselves and, perhaps most of all, feared fear itself. These days, when I am able to accept the help of my Higher Power, it makes me feel capable of doing anything I am called upon to do. I am overcoming my fears and acquiring a comfortable new con...

I can banish fear by realizing the truth. Am I afraid to be alone? This fear can be banished by the realization that I am never alone, that God is always with me wherever I am and whatever I do. Am I afraid that I won't have enough money to meet my needs? This fear can be banished by the realization that God is my inexhaustible, unfailing resource, now and always. Today I have the power to change...

The Twelve Steps teach us that, as faith grows, so does security. The terrifying fear of nothingness begins to subside. As we work the Program, we find that the basic antidote for fear is a spiritual awakening. We lose the fear of making decisions, for we realize that, if our choice proves wrong, we can learn from the experience. And should our decision be the right one, we can thank God for givin...

When I came to Gamblers Anonymous, I found people who knew exactly what I meant when I spoke finally of my fears. They had been where I had been; they understood. I've since learned that many of my fears have to do with projection. It's normal, for example, to have a tiny "backburner" fear that the person I love will leave me. But when the fear takes precedence over my present and very real relati...

Do I waste my time and energy wrestling with situations that aren't actually worth a second thought? Like Don Quixote, the bemused hero of Spanish literature, do I imagine wind mills as menacing giants, battling them until I am ready to drop from exhaustion? Today I'll not allow my imagination to build small troubles into big ones. I'll try to see each situation clearly, giving it only the value a...

As we are restored to health and become increasingly able to live comfortably in the real world without gam bling, we begin to see many things in a new light. Many of us have come to realize, for example, that anger, comes disguised in many shapes and colors: intolerance, sarcasm, distrust, anxiety, envy, cynicism, discontent, self-pity, malice, suspicion, jealousy. As more insights are granted to...

When people say rash or ugly things, we sometimes say they are "forgetting themselves," meaning they're forgetting their best selves in a sudden outburst of uncontrolled fury. If I remember the kind of person I want to be, hopefully I won't "forget myself" and yield to a fit of temper. I'll believe that the positive always defeats the negative: courage overcomes fear; patience overcomes anger and...

We learn in Gamblers Anonymous that we cannot punish anyone without punishing ourselves. The release of my tensions, even justified, in a punishing way leaves behind the dregs of bitterness and pain. This was the monotonous story of my life before I came to Gamblers Anonymous. So in my new life, I'd do well to consider the long-range benefits of simply owning my emotions, naming them, and thus rel...

If I become angry today, I'll pause and think before I say anything, remembering that my anger can turn back upon me and worsen my difficulties. I'll try to remember, too, that well timed silence can give me command of a stressful situation as angry reproaches never can. In such moments of stress, I'll remember that my power over others is nonexistent, and that only God is all-powerful. Have I lea...

What about "justifiable anger"? If somebody cheats us or acts toward us in an outrageous manner, don't we have the right to be furious? The hard learned experiences of countless others in the Gamblers Anonymous Program tell us that adventures in rage are usually extremely dangerous. So, while we must recognize anger enough to say "I am angry," we must not allow the build-up of rage, however justif...

When I become angry, can I admit to it and state it as a fact without allowing it to build up and burst out in inappropriate ways? Pent-up anger, I’ve finally begun to learn, quickly shatters the peace of mind that’s so critical to my ongoing recovery. When I become enraged and lose control, I unwittingly hand over control to the person, place, or thing with which I am enraged. When I’m angry will...

Writing down the things I am grateful for helps me switch from a negative to a positive attitude. Today I will take the time to list the positive aspects of my new life and the blessings that accompany the miracles of my recovery. I am grateful for such seemingly simple things: the ability to fall asleep with contentment, to awaken with a gladness to be alive, to face life on life's terms with pea...

We sometimes hear someone say, "He is standing in his own light." A mental picture then clearly reveals that many of us tend to shadow our own happiness by mistaken thinking. Let us learn to stand aside so the light can shine on us and all we do. For only then can we see ourselves and our circumstances with true clarity. With the Gamblers Anonymous Program of Recovery, we no longer need to stand i...

I am grateful for my friends in the Gamblers Anonymous Program. Right now I am aware of the blessings of friendship-the blessings of meeting, of sharing, of smiling, of listening, and of being available when needed. Right now I know that if I want a friend, I must be a friend. Will I vow, this day, to be a better friend to more people? Will I strive, this day in my thoughts, words, and actions-to...

I can always take strength and comfort from knowing I belong to a world wide Fellowship. Thousands just like me are working together for the same purpose. None of us needs ever to be alone again, because each of us in our own way works for the good of others. We are bound together by a common problem that can be solved by love and understanding and mutual service. The Gamblers Anonymous Program -...

IBM founder T. J. Watson said, "Success is on the far side of failure." For most compulsive gamblers, nothing could be truer. Without failure upon failure, we would never be capable of seeing that losing the bet was not the cause of problems in our life; it was making the bet in the first place. Only after we reached or exceeded our painful threshold for failures were we able to realize that, conv...

The slogan "Live and Let Live" can be extremely helpful when we are having trouble tolerating other people's behavior. We know for certain that nobody's behavior-no matter how offensive, distasteful, or vicious-is worth the price of a relapse. Our own recovery is primary, and while we must be unafraid of walking away from people or situations that cause us discomfort, we must also make a special e...

When we first stopped gambling, it was an enormous relief to find that the people we met in the Gamblers Anonymous Program seemed quite different than those apparently hos tile masses we know as "they." We were met, not with criticism and suspicion, but with understanding and concern. However, we still encounter people who get on our nerves, both within the Program and outside it. Obviously, we mu...

STEP 2 - Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to a normal way of thinking and living. Having been convinced of our powerlessness over gambling and the unmanageability of our lives in Step One, we are now told that only a power greater than ourselves could restore us to a normal way of thinking and living. (THIS MEANS WE CAN'T DO IT BY OURSELVES.) At this point, we m...

Honesty is a word I had to be reacquainted with. Before coming to Gamblers Anonymous, I bounced lies and half-truths around so often in my head that I believed they were all true. Today I strive for rigorous honesty with myself and with others. Above all, I must always remain honest with myself about where the credit for my recovery belongs - with my Higher Power and the Fellowship of GA. Have I a...

I used to be an expert at unrealistic self-appraisal. At certain times, I would look only at that part of my life that seemed good. Then I would magnify whatever real or imagined virtues I had attained. Next, I would pat myself on the back for the fantastic job I was doing in the Program. Naturally, this generated a craving for still more "accomplishments'' and still greater approval. Wasn't that...

If I am troubled, worried, exasperated, or frustrated, do I tend to rationalize the situation and lay the blame on someone else? When I am in such a state, is my conversation punctuated with, "He did. "She said "They did..."? Or can I honestly admit that perhaps I'm at fault. My peace of mind depends on overcoming my negative attitudes and my tendency to rationalize. Will I try, day by day, to be...

Gamblers Anonymous enables us to discover two roadblocks that keep us from seeing the value and comfort of the spiritual approach: self-justification and self-righteousness. The first grimly assures me that I'm always right. The second mistakenly comforts me with the delusion that I'm better than other people - "holier than thou." Just for today, will I pause abruptly while rationalizing and ask m...

Rare is the recovering compulsive gambler who will now dispute the fact that denial is a primary symptom of the illness. The Gamblers Anonymous Program teaches us that compulsive gambling actually tells the afflicted person that he or she really isn't sick at all. Not surprisingly, then, our lives as addictive gamblers were characterized by endless rationalizations and dishonesty and, in short, a...