A Day at a Time Reflections

From time to time when I see the slogan "There, but for the Grace of God Go I," I remember how I used to mouth those words when I saw others whose gambling addiction had brought them to what I considered a "hopeless and helpless" state. The slogan had long been a cop-out for me, reinforcing my denial of my own addiction by enabling me to point to others seemingly worse off than I. "If I ever get l...

My gambling addiction was like a thief in more ways than I can count. It robbed me not only of money, property, and other material things, but of dignity and self-respect, while my family and friends suffered right along with me. Gambling also robbed me of the ability to treat myself properly, as God would treat me. Today, in total contrast, I'm capable of true love of self - to the extent that I'...

"You cannot play with the animal in you without becoming wholly animal, play with falsehood without forfeiting your right to truth, play with cruelty without losing your sensitivity of mind. He who wants to keep his garden tidy doesn't reserve a plot for weeds." Dag Hammerskjold. If I want to keep my garden tidy, I must always remember not to save a place for weeds and then be caught off-guard. By...

"One's own self is well hidden from one's own self," a renowned philosopher once wrote. "Of all mines of treasure, one's own is the last to be dug up." The Gamblers Anonymous Twelve Steps of Recovery have enabled me to unearth my "own self," the one that for so long was buried beneath my desperate need for approval from others. Thanks to the Gamblers Anonymous Program and my Higher Power, I've beg...

"Not all those who know their minds know their hearts as well," wrote La Rochefoucauld. The Gamblers Anonymous Program is of inestimable value for those of us recovering compulsive gamblers who want to know ourselves and who are courageous enough to seek growth through self examination and self-improvement. If I remain honest, open-minded, and willing, the GA Program will enable me to rid myself o...

There's a world of difference between the idea of self-love and love of self. Self-love is a reflection of an inflated ego, around which - in our distorted view of our own self-importance everything must revolve. Self-love is the breeding ground for hostility, arrogance, and a host of other character defects that blind us to any points of view but our own. Love of self, in contrast, is an apprecia...

Before I admitted my powerlessness over gambling, I had as much self worth as a "peeled zero." I came into Gamblers Anonymous as a nobody who desperately wanted to be a somebody. In retrospect, my self-esteem was shredded, seemingly beyond repair. Gradually, the Program has enabled me to achieve an ever stronger sense of self-worth. I've come to accept myself, realizing that I'm not as bad as I ha...

There are countless ways by which my progress and growth in the Gamblers Anonymous Program can be measured. One of the most important is my awareness that I'm no longer compelled, almost obsessively, to go around judging everything and everybody. My only business today is to work on changing myself, rather than other people, places, and things. In its own way, the obsession of being forever judgme...

Not in my wildest dreams could I have imagined the rewards that would be mine when I first contemplated turning my life and will over to the care of God as I understood Him. Now I can rejoice in the blessing of my own recovery, as well as the recoveries of countless others who have found hope and a new way of life in the Gamblers Anonymous Program. After all the years of waste and terror, I real i...

All my life I searched for what would bring me happiness, traveling many roads, fast and slow. Most of the roads I chose were easier, softer ways, but the destinations were unsatisfying. I always turned back and chose another - again the easiest road to travel. I thought they were short cuts, but instead they swung wide of my goals. When I finally came to Gamblers Anonymous, it was the only road l...

Someone once said that the mind's direction is more important than its progress. If my direction is correct, then progress is sure to follow. We first come to Gamblers Anonymous to receive something for ourselves, but soon learn that we receive most bountifully when we give to others. If the direction of my mind is to give rather than to receive, then I'll benefit beyond my greatest expectations....

All too often I unwittingly set standards for others in the Gamblers Anonymous Program. Worse yet, I expect those standards to be met. I go so far, on occasion, to decide what progress other people should make in their recoveries, and how their attitudes and actions should change. Not surprisingly, when things don't work out the way I expect, I become frustrated and even angry. I have to learn to...

"Fundamental progress has to do with the reinterpretation of basic ideas," wrote Alfred North Whitehead. When we review the ups and downs of our recovery in Gamblers Anonymous, we can see the truth of that statement. We make progress each time we get rid of an old idea, each time we uncover a character defect, each time we become ready to have that defect removed. We make progress, one day at a ti...

My progress in recovery depends in large measure on my attitude, and my attitude is up to me. It's the way I decide to look at things. Nobody can force an attitude on me. For me, a good attitude is a point of view unclouded by self-pity and resentments. There will be stumbling blocks in my path, without a doubt. But the Gamblers Anonymous Program has taught me that stumbling blocks can be turned i...

Many people we meet in Gamblers Anonymous radiate a kind of special glow a joy in living that shows in their faces and bearing. They've put aside their obsession with gambling and have progressed to the point where they're "high" on life itself. Their confidence and enthusiasm are contagious - especially to those who are new in GA. The astonishing thing to newcomers is that those same joy ous peop...

When I say the Serenity Prayer, sometimes over and over, I occasionally lose sight of the prayer's meaning even as I repeat its words. So I try to think of the meaning of each phrase as I say it, whether aloud or silently. As I concentrate on the meaning, my understanding grows, along with my capability to realize the difference between what I can change, and what I cannot. Do I see that most impr...

When we allow our Higher Power to take charge, without reservations on our part, we stop being anxious. When we're not anxious about some person or situation, that doesn't mean we're disinterested or have stopped caring. Just the opposite is true. We can be interested and caring without being anxious or fearful. The poised, calm, and faith-filled person brings something positive to every situation...

I remember once hearing someone in the Gamblers Anonymous Program say, "Life is a series of agreeings or disagreeings with the universe." There is much truth in that statement, for I'm only a small cog in the machinery of the universe. When I try to run things my way, I'll experience only frustration and a sense of failure. If, instead, I learn to let go, success will assuredly be mine. Then I'll...

Determination-our clenched-jaw resolve that we can do something about everything-is perhaps the greatest hindrance to achieving serenity. Our old tapes tell us, "The difficult can be done immediately; the impossible will take a little longer." So we tighten up and prepare ourselves for battle, even though we know from long experience that our own will dooms us in advance to failure. Over and over...

When I first read the Serenity Prayer, the word "serenity" itself seemed like an impossibility. At the time, the word conjured up images of lethargy, apa thy, resignation, or grim-faced endurance; it hardly seemed a desirable goal. But I've since found that serenity means none of those things. Serenity for me today is simply a clear-eyed and realistic way of seeing the world, accompanied by inner...

As we "Keep Coming Back" to meetings, we're able to recognize those who have an abundance of serenity. We are drawn to these people. To our surprise, we sometimes find that those who seem most grateful for today's blessings are the very ones who have the most serious and continuing problems at home or at work. Yet they have the courage to turn away from such problems, actively seeking to learn and...

We are powerless over gambling; that admission brought us to the Gamblers Anonymous Program, where we learn through unconditional surrender that there is victory in defeat. After a time, we learn in Twelfth Step work that we're not only powerless over our own addiction, but over the addiction of others. We cannot will another person to abstinence from gambling, for example, any more than we can ho...

I've learned in Gamblers Anonymous that I am wholly powerless over my compulsion. At long last, I've conceded my powerlessness; as a result, my life has taken a 180-degree turn for the better. However, I do have a power, derived from God, to change my own life. I've learned that acceptance does not mean submission to an unpleasant or degrading situation. It means accepting the reality of the situa...

An entire philosophy of life is condensed in the slogan "Live and Let Live." First we're urged to live fully, richly, and happily - to fulfill our destiny with the joy that comes from doing well whatever we do. Then comes a more difficult challenge: let live. This means accepting the right of every other person to live as he or she wishes, without criticism or judgment from us. The slogan rules ou...

We can be surrounded by people and still feel lonely. We can be all by ourselves and still feel happy and content. What makes the difference? We feel lonely if we look to other people for something they really can't provide. No one else can give US peace of mind, an inner sense of acceptance, and serenity. And when we find ourselves alone, we needn't feel lonely. God is with us; God's presence is...