A Day at a Time Reflections

Looking back, I realize just how much of my life has been spent in dwelling upon the faults of others. It provided much self-satisfaction, to be sure, but I see now just how subtle and actually perverse the process became. After all was said and done, the net effect of dwelling on the so-called faults of others was self-granted permission to remain comfortably unaware of my own defects.  Do I stil...

The longer I'm in the Gamblers Anonymous Program, the more clearly I see why it's important for me to understand why I do what I do, and say what I say. In the process, I'm coming to realize what kind of person I really am. I see now, for example, that it's far easier to be honest with other people than with myself. I'm learning also that we're all hampered by our need to justify our actions and w...

One of the most constructive things I can do is to learn to listen to myself and get in touch with my true feelings. For years, I tuned myself out, going along, instead, with what others felt and said. Even today, it sometimes seems that they have it all together, while I'm still stumbling around. Thankfully, I'm beginning to understand that people-pleasing takes many forms. Slowly but steadily, I...

Have I gained freedom simply because one day I was weak and the next day I became suddenly strong? Have I changed from the helpless and hopeless person I once seemed to be simply by resolving, "from now on, things will be different"? Is the fact that I am more comfortable today than ever before the result of my own will power? Can I take credit for pulling myself up by my own boot straps? I know b...

I used to imagine my life as a grotesque abstract painting: a montage of crises framed by end-upon-end catastrophes. My days all were grey and my thoughts greyer still. I was haunted by dread and nameless fears. I was filled with self-loathing. I had no idea who I was, what I was, or why I was. I miss none of those feelings. Today, step by step, I am discovering myself and learning that I can be f...

Now that I am in Gamblers Anonymous, I am no longer enslaved by the compulsion to place the next bet. Free, free at last from fabricating the elaborate alibis-and hoping they won't unravel. Free from the guilt and shame. Free from the worry about bookies and loan companies. Free from the ever burgeoning mountain of debt.  Do I treasure my freedom from compulsive gambling?  Today I Pray … Praise Go...

I can attain real dignity, importance, and individuality only by a dependence on a Power that is great and good, beyond anything I can imagine or understand. I will try my utmost to call on this Power in making all my decisions. Even though my human mind cannot forecast what the outcome will be, I will try to be confident that whatever comes will be for my ultimate good.  Just for today, will I tr...

Personal freedom is mine for the taking. No matter how close the ties of love and concern that bind me to my family and friends, I must always remember that I am an individual, free to be myself and live my own life in serenity and joy. The key word in this realization is personal. For I can free myself from many involvements that seem necessary. Through the Gamblers Anonymous Program, I am learni...

Even with a growing understanding of the Gamblers Anonymous Program and its Twelve Steps, we sometimes may find it difficult to believe that our new way of life leads to personal freedom. Suppose, for example, I feel imprisoned in an uncomfortable job or troublesome personal relationship. What am I doing about it? In the past, my reflex reaction was to try to manipulate the things and people aroun...

Among the many gifts that we are offered in the Gamblers Anonymous Program is the gift of freedom. Paradoxically, however, the gift of freedom is not without a price tag: freedom can be achieved only by paying the price called acceptance. Similarly, if we can surrender to God's guidance, it will cost us our self-will, that "commodity" so precious to those of us who have always thought we could and...

We must never be blinded by the futile philosophy that we are just the hapless victims of our inheritance, of our life experience, and of our surroundings that these are the sole forces that make our decisions for us. This is not the road to freedom. We have to believe that we can really choose. As addictive persons, we lost our ability to choose whether we would pursue our illness. Yet we finally...

JANUARY 22 REFLECTION FOR THE DAY In a very real sense, we are imprisoned by our inability or unwillingness to reach out for help to a Power greater than ourselves. But, in time, we pray to be relieved of the bondage of self, so that we can better do God's will. In the words of Ramakrishna, “The sun and moon are not mirrored in cloudy waters, thus the Almighty cannot be mirrored in a heart that is...

Every person is a part of the Divine economy. We are all children of God, and it is unlikely that He intends to favor one over another. So it is necessary for all of us to accept whatever positive gifts we receive with a deep humility. We need always to bear in mind that our negative attitudes were first necessary as a means of reducing us to a state in which we would be ready for the gift of posi...

I understand that, when I allow myself to dwell on the problem, the problem will worsen. But when I dwell on the solution, the situation will improve. My problems with money today have much less significance when I focus on my recovery and continued abstinence rather than spending my time wishing I had no debts. My past grand illusions of debt-free wealth are today just that: illusions. My happine...

It was far easier for me to accept my powerlessness over gambling than it was for me to accept the notion that some sort of Higher Power could accomplish what I had been unable to accomplish myself. Simply by seeking help and accepting the fellowship of others similarly afflicted, the craving left me. And I realized that, if I was doing what I was powerless alone to do, then surely I was doing so...

If we are determined to stop gambling, there must be no reservations whatsoever, nor any lurking notion that our obsession will someday reverse itself. Our regeneration comes through the splendid paradox of the Twelve Steps: strength arises from complete defeat, and the loss of one's old life is a condition for finding a new one. Am I convinced that in powerlessness, power comes? Am I certain that...

I have been told over and over that I must constantly work to give up my old ideas. "That's easy for you to say," I've sometimes thought. All my life, I have been programmed, computer style; specific inputs brought forth predictable responses. My mind still tends to react as a computer reacts, but I am learning to destroy the old tapes and literally reprogram myself. Am I fully willing to abandon...

When we first came to Gamblers Anonymous, whether for ourselves or under pressure from others, some of us were all but sickened by the concept of "surrender." To admit defeat flew in the face of our lifelong beliefs. Some of us thought of the immortal rallying cries of Churchill at Dunkirk, or of FDR following the attack on Pearl Harbor. And so we secretly vowed, at first, that the very idea of su...

I must never forget who and what I am and where I come from. I have to remember the nature of my illness and what it was like before I came to Gamblers Anonymous. I'll try to keep the memory green, yet not spend my time dwelling morbidly on the past. I won't be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful, and to believe that as I give to others, so others will give to me. Can I ever afford to forget what it...

Rare are the practicing compulsive gamblers who have any idea how irrational they are, or, seeing their irrationality, can bear to face it. One dictionary defines sanity as "soundness of mind." Yet no compulsive gambler, rationally analyzing his or her destructive behavior, can truly claim soundness of mind. Have I come to believe, as the Second Step suggests, that a Power greater than myself can...

I admitted that I couldn't win the gambling battle on my own. So I finally began to accept the critically important fact that dependence on a Higher Power could help me achieve what had always seemed impossible. I stopped running. I stopped fighting. For the first time, I began accepting. And for the first time, I began to be really free. Do I realize that it doesn't matter what kind of shoes I'm...

The Gamblers Anonymous Program and my friends in the Fellowship have provided me with a whole new set of tools for living. If I use all of these tools regularly and well, they'll also help rid me of such negative feelings as guilt, anxiety, rebellion, and pride. When I'm feeling depressed, do I use the tools that have proved effective? Or do I grit my teeth and suffer in painful silence? Today I P...

When I sit quietly and compare my life today with the way it used to be, the difference is almost beyond belief. But things aren't always rosy: some days are a lot better than others. I tend to accept the bad days more easily on an intellectual level than I do emotionally, or at gut-level. There are no pat answers, but part of the solution surely lies in a constant effort to practice all of the Tw...

The experiences of thousands upon thousands of people have proved that acceptance and faith are capable of producing freedom from gambling. When we apply the same principles of acceptance and faith to our emotional problems, however, we discover that only relative results are possible. Obviously, for example, nobody can ever become completely free from fear, anger, or pride. None of us will ever a...

Since I came to Gamblers Anonymous, I've become increasingly aware of the Serenity Prayer. I see it on literature covers, the walls of meeting rooms, and in the homes of new found friends. "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." Do I understand the Serenity Prayer? Do I believe in its power and rep...