The Ascertainers

Send us Fan Mail Due to scheduling conflicts with Mark and Jim's super busy social calendars (or something like that), we went to the episode pantry and pulled this one off the shelf.  It was this, or canned peaches.   Hey German listener... The Subaru of sandals Jim's milestone birthday Old guy stuff Uncle Milty's is bigger Newt's--The We'll See Burger Our cool new stage...

Send us Fan Mail Ran into super listener Pat K at Newt's (nobody was hurt) and recruited him to come on a future episode.  He claims to have listened to every Ascertainers episode.  Be like Pat. The Rain the Park and Other Things South Park Randy Shoutout CSI: Jim's Basement Vikings Middle Linebacker or Porn Star? Still no Ascertainers Burger at Newt's (but ask for it anyway) Can&ap...

Send us Fan Mail For all you Viking's fans, this is also known as the Scott Studwell episode.  Not because we talk about him or anything--but he did wear #55.  I bet he also knows Joey Browner. In this episode, we finish up on 1976 by talking some music, TV shows and other useless banter.   Well, my broker is EF Hutton Newt's--yum--you should go there Saving best stuff for Mark (phrasing...

Send us Fan Mail We're still trying to get our groove back (as if we ever had one).  Jim's wife, Kris makes her Ascertainers debut. What would you say you do here? Gramma's Boy Introducing Mrs Jim Mancini's shoutout Girl drinks Fancy Ray sighting Newt's:  Featuring the All-New Ascertainers Burger Errors & omissions Radio Game 1976 songs, pop culture, etc Hair calendar...

Send us Fan Mail The sophomore slump hit your boys hard.  We enter year two of this adventure by failing on our first two attempts at getting anything worth sharing with you, our loyal listeners--both of you.  What we ended up with should be an indicator of how very bad the first two were... Listener shout outs Prospective guests Newt's and how Mark pissed off our ONLY sponsor The Ascertainer...

Send us Fan Mail That couple is Mark and Jim.  During the recording with the Think Drink Disney fellas, Jim dissed Mark even more than normal.  Thanks to Mark being a podcasting pro and great editor, you probably didn't even know about it, but in this episode, you'll hear how we worked things out.  Extra Kleenex for this one..... Another new friend at Newt's Jim and Cory are both Ro...

Send us Fan Mail One episode was not enough for legends Matt G and Lance from the Think Drink Disney podcast.  This time around is a bit less frenetic (look it up Ascertainers followers....  The TDD people probably knew that one already).  If you could use a laugh, give this one a listen. Reintroducing Think Drink Disney (TDD) What's with all the Kleenex? Micro Obliterator Callouses Never pas...

Send us Fan Mail Big week--Matt G and Lance from the Think Drink Disney podcast pay us a visit.  Jim has known Lance for going on 20 years and The Ascertainers have looked up to T.D.D. for a while.  With four guys in the Dojio (Dojo/Studio--copyright pending), there's a little bit of cross talk and a whole lot of laughs.  What The Ascertainers lack in technical proficiency, raw talent and pre...

Send us Fan Mail We spent a little more time at Newt's before recording this one--you decide for yourself if it shows.... Thick glasses? Choose positivity, damn it! Have to or get to? Cheat day Ice Fishing story (a/k/a Aurora BOREalis Newt's is delicious Where the heck is Sara??? John Cameron Swayze Mark's new neighbor Fake meat during Lent Bob Marley Entertainers Uff Da #Newts #Fin...

Send us Fan Mail We were so ready to get started that we skipped the intro.  As Ascertainers episodes go, this one is pretty close to the original recipe--50% of people won't like it.  The other half will hate it.  Enjoy! Big Shots Newts Shoutout--Welcome to MN Ken and Renee! Is it hot out there or is it just us? The two Parris's Think twice about lending Mark your Jaguar Mental spotter...

Send us Fan Mail After teasing 1973 as a topic last episode, we decided to actually tackle it this week and stuck with the plan.  1973--come for the easy listening, stay for the easier listening.  This one was challenging to spice up. Knee Job Newt's you say? Symbiosis Who bites gum? Paging our German listener 1973--The rise of Heavy Music?  Kind of. Mark's guy Eric/Tommy Bolin Mick Jagg...

Send us Fan Mail Well, we finally did it--we went the whole episode without talking about our topic-- which does get mentioned in the episode, but since we didn't cover it at all, we don't want to further mislead by using it in the episode title.  One way to look at this is that it's like a choose your own adventure.  Another way is to question the (lack of) motivation by these host...

Send us Fan Mail It's been brought to our attention that we maybe not mention a topic in the title of the episode since we only get to the topic with about 11 minutes left (margin of error +/-1 minute).   Hey, at least we're consistent--and this one is NO different.  We make up for it with extensive inaccurate rumors about former MN Vikings All Pro Safety, Joey Browner.  It doesn't...

Send us Fan Mail Just Mark and Jim on this one.  Feeling guilty about not giving his guest/brother much of a chance to speak on Episode 43, Jim vows to do better on this one--and pretty much succeeds.  The bar is set pretty low for him. Smiley face emoji Mark's visit to Como Park Zoo Conservatory No gibbons for you today Chuck Foreman When to execute a Chuck-spin Doing donuts Newt's was...

Send us Fan Mail Unusual night in that in addition to our typical pre-game visit to Newt's (in Apple Valley--ever heard of it?), we then went into St Paul to catch a live set from the band Feegee (@feegeeband)--who is the technically the artist that recorded the Ascertainers theme.   We had a designated driver, our guest for the evening, Jim's brother Steve.  As you might expect, The Asc...

Send us Fan Mail At this point, I feel a little bad putting a topic in the title, because we end up getting to the topic in the waning minutes (spoiler alert).  Today, we fry some bigger fish with Broadcast Legend and across the street neighbor--Roy! Jim's anatomy Get to know Roy Deep dive into sportscasting, play be play and color commentary  Doc Emrick Mark's Discount Airport Shuttle Y...

Send us Fan Mail Special/recurring guest Jason from the 'hood joins us to kick off 2024.  After the usual chit chat, we get around to discussing Ballads.  Yes, we can see the bottom of the topic bucket--please send in your suggestions to TheAscertainers@gmail.com Also, to help you with the visual, the conversation before the theme music kicks in was about......new microphone stands.  Sorry to...

Send us Fan Mail This is technically our 40th episode (our Special Holiday Episode was not numbered).  Jim had to be up early the next morning, so we only recorded one episode.  However, we still hit our normal hydration quota, so I don't think we gained much.  Also, we decided to try without a topic.   Sorry Ma--Forgot to Plug in Your Headphones Radio Game Shoutout FeeGeeBand The Pink Floyd...

Send us Fan Mail To help you better understand why Jim is the way he is, we invited his Mom, Ellie, to join us for a special episode.  As you will see, she held her own and in spite of a technical blunder--she told us she couldn't hear anything through the headphones, and only after it was over did Mark discover her headphones weren't plugged in.  It's a fun episode and one that is...

Send us Fan Mail It's the most wonderful time of the year--and I don't mean Honda Days.  It's Christmas and we are here to wish you and yours a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Freaky Festivus--whatever you celebrate.  Hope you get what you wanted. Will Santa get us a new mixing board? We tease an upcoming special episode release Mark's a Christmas guy--who knew? Pajama party h...

Send us Fan Mail Big treat for everyone as we are joined by neighbor and broadcast professional, Roy!  We laughed, we learned and we give Roy the business pretty good/well. Fun Hibbing MN facts Roy runs, Marks runs and Jim ran Newt's promo--mostly uninterrupted but a bit dull as a result Shout out Roy's baseball buddies Brad and Charlie Radio Game The Outfield controversy--who was right?...

Send us Fan Mail This is a second recording of the night, and we attempt to not make any date/season references so we can potentially release it at a later date.  Spoiler alert--we are bad at this.  Jim's brother Jeff joins us again.  For fans of Mark pushing Jim's buttons. Shoutout to the creators of our theme music Newt's promo--can I get that with a side of provocation? Jeff gets...

Send us Fan Mail As some already know--don't read too much into the title.  We didn't really have a topic going into this one, so if you like the Ascertainers for our ability to rapidly shift from topic to topic with limited redeeming value on any of them--you're going to like this one.  If not, maybe sit this one out.  Now you want to listen on curiosity alone.  Is this milk bad? ...

Send us Fan Mail A little nostalgia.  Mark's red shirt Episode confusion Newspaper article Have you guys heard of Newt's? Table vs Booth Casual Pescatarianism Errors and Omissions Killed a guy International waters Radio Game Air Force self-deprication Newt's has coupons Bath Robe TV theme songs Aaaand it's over #Newts #whatareyouhiding

Send us Fan Mail If you're tuning in just for the Friday Night stuff (our original topic), go ahead and fast forward to about 10 minutes left.  We still can't budget our time....  Attempts were also made to do a "tight" intro and Newt's promo.  We were not successful there either.  But hey--you're already here, so give this a listen! Shout out to aspiring podcasters M...