The Ascertainers

Send us Fan Mail Since Mark is recovering from his knee replacement, we took the show on the road (to his house).  The audio is seriously iffy--thanks for your understanding.  We know what caused it and it will be fixed!  Also--the wives join us! Mark's knee replacement Nurse Ratchet The bump in the night The knee fairy? Our temporary set up Mark's class reunion Dixie from Emergency Hi K...

Send us Fan Mail We don't talk about the Gophers the whole time, Jim just liked that title so much...  This is a sports-heavy episode, though.  It moves along rather nicely for us. Medical Minute 'Merica Mark reviews Cygnus X-1 Wax on whacks off Maybe just leave the Band-Aid on Newt's--it'll be moist Get well soon, Ellie (Jim's mom) the Whimpy Diet Tale of two QB's Bi...

Send us Fan Mail We are joined by Jim's wife, Kris who had quite a week.  Between her exotic train trip to Milwaukee (jealous?) and her class reunion, we're just glad she found time to hang out with us. Mark's Japanese beer review Shoutout Linda--our loyal Milwaukee listener! Train travel recap There'll be no smokin' on the bus The Amish--what's their deal? Errors &am...

Send us Fan Mail We are joined by our mystery guest one more time.  It's the second recording of the night and our guy Maverick is loosened up and ready to rip!  Even so, this is a surprisingly insightful hang--but fun as hell. Duct tape and regret Jamie Foxx roasts a dude John Marshall HS Plan A was comedy Open mike I'm the dad Comedy talk Mark's the straight man Gay 90's Golf...

Send us Fan Mail Not really a knee slapper, but talking about what's on most people's minds 25 years later. Shoutout Reilly with the hair Shoutout our guy Kent and his date Step 1: Go to Newt's.  Step 2: Get the Cuban. Remembering 9/11 25 years later much has changed First responders Veterans in power Will we ever be united again? 2001--a look back Lunatic fringe Apologies to the Co...

Send us Fan Mail Always good to have the Mystery Guest stop by for a round of golf, some tasty eats and some quality conversation.  Don't forget to check out the links at the bottom with Songs of the Week. Call me Maverick Golf recap Newt's guest reviewer Errors & Ommishhh Don't hate our Dolly 7 Brew Krispy Kreme Bad move Buc-ee's Nerd stuff K-Mart Yard kids Vikings Song of...

Send us Fan Mail We lost a legend in Dolly Parton.  We try to honor her contributions to society--the Ascertainer's way. Artificial Stupidity Newt's--Undefeated Nachos Lunar Eclipse Colin Bales Benefit Fund Bela Karolyi facts John Paul Jones--not a good dude One False Move Christopher Nolan Movies They Call Me Gaz Marv Albert Frank Beard Moon landing? RIP Dolly Parton and Tim Curry Only...

Send us Fan Mail Covered a lot of ground on this topic-free episode.  Hard to give it a title (as the title would indicate).  Couple of laughs to be had.  Enjoy. Paul McCartney Miles Mark with the books again Mad Magazine Trent Tucker Newt's is always the correct choice Blues Brothers Pescatarian no more Hurdle talk Songs of the Week: Flyin' High--Ca$ual The Midnight Special--Andy Griffi...

Send us Fan Mail If you here to learn about the Colin Bales Benefit Fund, it starts at around 27:30 minutes in.  While we'd love you to listen to the whole thing, we get it--it's not for everybody. https://www.facebook.com/share/1JB2cNQktv/?mibextid=wwXIfr Colin Bales Benefit Fund Red beer night Newt's--Who's zooming who? Actual Amateur Olympians  IOC guy--what a dick Pat and S...

Send us Fan Mail We have a return appearance from one of our favorite guests, Lance from the Think Drink Disney podcast. Jim's wife is also in the mix for a festive chat. TDD on hiatus? Lance History 101 Shoutout Zerorez Newt's--Try the Cubano Taste the hopelessness Bidet Talk Big Fossil Shoutout neighbor kid Songs of the Week Another Girl, Another Planet--The Replacements The Great Pret...

Send us Fan Mail An episode with a topic--what a concept.  We get interrupted by a neighborhood house fire too.  Go to Newt's! Fox Force Five Shoutout our guy Kent (who also eats at Newt's) The Hawk Songs of the Week You Got to Lose--The Black Keys Marathon--Rush Greatest Athletes Jim Thorpe Sebastian Sawe Bud Grant Deion Sanders/Bo Jackson Micael Jordan Mohammad Ali John Curtis (The Lon...

Send us Fan Mail Decided to tape two in one night and save the topic one for the second episode.  This is the first.  Hope you like crap (note that I used lowercase c for crap.  If it was pretty bad, I would have spelled Crap.  If it was terrible, I would use CRAP).  So, it's not that bad. Shoutout to Newt's The Cubano Horse racing trip Cheez it's and Spam Song of the Week I Know a...

Send us Fan Mail Is it hot enough for ya?  We take a break from the heat and smoke of MN to hunker down in the dojio for your entertainment. The Swa episode recap Happy Birthday Renee!  X-Golf in a pinch Ace and Gary get sushi World Cup Final British Open Pan O Prog recap Budweiser Clydesdales Errors & Omissions Newt's misses you! Data center vs light bulb Song of the Week: Easy Rider--Ta...

Send us Fan Mail Jim's guy Swa joins us on this one. Opinions abound. Buckle up. Avid listener House shows An album a day Listening process Beatles controversy Metallica--One Bohemian Rhapsody / Wayne's World Life before the internet  Liner notes / Album art Song of the Week: Industrial Disease--Dire Straits Love Song--My New Band Believe Creeque Alley--The Mamas and The Papas God Only K...

Send us Fan Mail Hope everyone had an awesome 4th of July!  Today we learn how much more cool Mark is than Jim (as if we didn't already know). Decorated Combat Veteran USO Newt's--Say hi to Cory.  Or else. Still the best country on the planet Iceland came in second World Cup Mr Worldwide The Rock Errors and Ommissions Where you from, boy? Song of the Week America F#&* Yeah!--Team Ame...

Send us Fan Mail Fresh from seeing the Guess Who and Don Felder at the new Amphitheater in town, this one is primarily a music podcast--finally.  Pretty good rant toweard the end. Grandpa Jim Mystic Lake Amphitheater   $20 Beer Night! Shoutout the best sponsor ever--Newt's Apple Valley Great Seats, huh? Senior Citizens  Shuttle Shit Show Don Felder stole the show (spoiler alert) Hotel Califor...

Send us Fan Mail We recorded with Jim's guy Swa last weekend.  My man can talk, thus requiring some extra editing time.  Therefore, we grabbed this one from the shelf recorded just a few weeks ago.  Enjoy Beer or Bourbon? Falling Knife Tell us what you think--really Pun of the Day Aging perspective Mr Seeds Yet another Shark Tank idea Who turns down Indy? RIP Kyle Busch No Ragrats Tommy Lee J...

Send us Fan Mail We had to go into the pantry to pull this episode off the shelf.  From April. Cheez-It rehab Safety off Serious Rush conversation (Mark even says something nice) Song of the Week Ordinary World--Duran Duran The Things We Do for Love--10cc Lost Boys rant and a half Movie Fight! Cracker wheels Rod & Custom Show Expensive hobby 1993 hit list #NewtsAppleValleyMN The Ascertainers@g...

Send us Fan Mail No real topic on this one, but we cover a lot of ground.  pretty easy listen.  Enjoy. Long Pants Theory Kevin Nealon Agree to agree Kevin Harlan and Trent Tucker Brady vs Romo NYC Horse nap The Breadwinner Mr Ed Old sitcoms & Spinoffs Song of the Week: Possum Kingdom--The Toadies Sea of Joy--Blind Faith Chili talk--The Loon Toadies show review Shoutout Mike from Montana and Ra...

Send us Fan Mail We revisit an unending topic with cover tunes this week.  Fair amount of hazing to go along with some laughs. Song Sung Blue Cock-eyed Side effects Golf recap Mark's new Motorbike Pressure cooker Pun of the Day Get on over to Newt's Inverted golf course Song of the Week Sugaree--Jorma Kaukonen Love Hurts--The Everly Brothers Cover songs VH did it right Grammar meltdown B...

Send us Fan Mail We're joined by Jim's wife for this one.  We cover a bit of ground and have some laughs. Big Whack Money back guarantee Incense RIP Wolves and Wild Victoire' MN sports futility Dystopian Facial recognition Schlitz Yungblud concert review The opposite of David Lee Roth Mark's Green Day connection Songs of the Week: Vascular--Pierre Love Removal Machine--The Cult...

Send us Fan Mail Get ready with us as we talk about places we shop...  No, really, it's a decent episode. Big box bourbon Costco virgin On to Aldi Gator Roll RIP Dave Mason Golf smack Careful in traffic RIP Joe Senser Songs of the Week: ETI-- Blue Öyster Cult  How Can You Mend a Broken Heart--Bee Gee's What if they were hot? Watch the Bee Gee's documentary form around 2020 Chest hai...

Send us Fan Mail We talk a bit of sports on this one, hence the Wheel of Fortune Before and After-inspired title.  IYKYK... Mark's family recap Keep it Shrimple Green Room Yungblud preview Newt's--Not a Bad Seat in the House Special Newt's shoutout--Sarah Best in Show The Farting Contest Nerd Alert Karen flashback Self-righteous Boilermakers Nocturnal Mom's Vaccuums Songs of th...

Send us Fan Mail Now that we are all comfortable with one another.....  Adjust your volume accordingly. Introductions 5K memories Reading glasses Newt's--Good Food, Good Times Neighborhood band Are you comfortable? We Are Family--Sister Sledge You're My Girl--April Wine Lovely Day--Bill Withers Shoutout our logo designer--Selena Jim's joke fails miserably Sweet Caroline--Neil Diamon...

Send us Fan Mail Buckle up!  We've got 8 voices on this one (Jim's wife is on too).  Mark's Mom is an absolute DELIGHT!  And sister Karen let Jim live. Welcome Renee, Denise, Polli, Karen and Marlene (with Kris in the background) Bible terminology Coolio? 6th grader at a Pat Benatar concert  Newt's gets a 4 star Yelp review Mars, the pulltab queen Ever been arrested? Mark is an...