The Ascertainers

Send us Fan Mail Hope everyone had an awesome 4th of July!  Today we learn how much more cool Mark is than Jim (as if we didn't already know). Decorated Combat Veteran USO Newt's--Say hi to Cory.  Or else. Still the best country on the planet Iceland came in second World Cup Mr Worldwide The Rock Errors and Ommissions Where you from, boy? Song of the Week America F#&* Yeah!--Team Ame...

Send us Fan Mail Fresh from seeing the Guess Who and Don Felder at the new Amphitheater in town, this one is primarily a music podcast--finally.  Pretty good rant toweard the end. Grandpa Jim Mystic Lake Amphitheater   $20 Beer Night! Shoutout the best sponsor ever--Newt's Apple Valley Great Seats, huh? Senior Citizens  Shuttle Shit Show Don Felder stole the show (spoiler alert) Hotel Califor...

Send us Fan Mail We recorded with Jim's guy Swa last weekend.  My man can talk, thus requiring some extra editing time.  Therefore, we grabbed this one from the shelf recorded just a few weeks ago.  Enjoy Beer or Bourbon? Falling Knife Tell us what you think--really Pun of the Day Aging perspective Mr Seeds Yet another Shark Tank idea Who turns down Indy? RIP Kyle Busch No Ragrats Tommy Lee J...

Send us Fan Mail We had to go into the pantry to pull this episode off the shelf.  From April. Cheez-It rehab Safety off Serious Rush conversation (Mark even says something nice) Song of the Week Ordinary World--Duran Duran The Things We Do for Love--10cc Lost Boys rant and a half Movie Fight! Cracker wheels Rod & Custom Show Expensive hobby 1993 hit list #NewtsAppleValleyMN The Ascertainers@g...

Send us Fan Mail No real topic on this one, but we cover a lot of ground.  pretty easy listen.  Enjoy. Long Pants Theory Kevin Nealon Agree to agree Kevin Harlan and Trent Tucker Brady vs Romo NYC Horse nap The Breadwinner Mr Ed Old sitcoms & Spinoffs Song of the Week: Possum Kingdom--The Toadies Sea of Joy--Blind Faith Chili talk--The Loon Toadies show review Shoutout Mike from Montana and Ra...

Send us Fan Mail We revisit an unending topic with cover tunes this week.  Fair amount of hazing to go along with some laughs. Song Sung Blue Cock-eyed Side effects Golf recap Mark's new Motorbike Pressure cooker Pun of the Day Get on over to Newt's Inverted golf course Song of the Week Sugaree--Jorma Kaukonen Love Hurts--The Everly Brothers Cover songs VH did it right Grammar meltdown B...

Send us Fan Mail We're joined by Jim's wife for this one.  We cover a bit of ground and have some laughs. Big Whack Money back guarantee Incense RIP Wolves and Wild Victoire' MN sports futility Dystopian Facial recognition Schlitz Yungblud concert review The opposite of David Lee Roth Mark's Green Day connection Songs of the Week: Vascular--Pierre Love Removal Machine--The Cult...

Send us Fan Mail Get ready with us as we talk about places we shop...  No, really, it's a decent episode. Big box bourbon Costco virgin On to Aldi Gator Roll RIP Dave Mason Golf smack Careful in traffic RIP Joe Senser Songs of the Week: ETI-- Blue Öyster Cult  How Can You Mend a Broken Heart--Bee Gee's What if they were hot? Watch the Bee Gee's documentary form around 2020 Chest hai...

Send us Fan Mail We talk a bit of sports on this one, hence the Wheel of Fortune Before and After-inspired title.  IYKYK... Mark's family recap Keep it Shrimple Green Room Yungblud preview Newt's--Not a Bad Seat in the House Special Newt's shoutout--Sarah Best in Show The Farting Contest Nerd Alert Karen flashback Self-righteous Boilermakers Nocturnal Mom's Vaccuums Songs of th...

Send us Fan Mail Now that we are all comfortable with one another.....  Adjust your volume accordingly. Introductions 5K memories Reading glasses Newt's--Good Food, Good Times Neighborhood band Are you comfortable? We Are Family--Sister Sledge You're My Girl--April Wine Lovely Day--Bill Withers Shoutout our logo designer--Selena Jim's joke fails miserably Sweet Caroline--Neil Diamon...

Send us Fan Mail Buckle up!  We've got 8 voices on this one (Jim's wife is on too).  Mark's Mom is an absolute DELIGHT!  And sister Karen let Jim live. Welcome Renee, Denise, Polli, Karen and Marlene (with Kris in the background) Bible terminology Coolio? 6th grader at a Pat Benatar concert  Newt's gets a 4 star Yelp review Mars, the pulltab queen Ever been arrested? Mark is an...

Send us Fan Mail Don't let the title fool you, it's not about the Motor City Madman, Ted Nugent.  It's just a topic-free zone this time around. Kdoctor Jim Mansfield Bar Pun of the Day Tune in for Mark's whole family next week! Will Karen hurt Jim? Golf Smack Newt's--Cory brings the heat  Lack of pull tab discipline Jim survived his 5K Apple Valley Car Clinic RIP Dash Crof...

Send us Fan Mail A bonus episode (2nd recording of the night) from a few weeks back.  Jim's lack of profanity is almost too pure. March Madness Yearbook Bracketology Lighten up Karen What's with the toys? Newt's > Cheers This one's for you Lars Songs of the Week Your Smiling Face--James Taylor Lady Oh--Neil Diamond Kids In the Hall--Record Store Snob Greatest Hits--According...

Send us Fan Mail So, after three years of doing this project, Mark decides that he should mention the time he and his wife flew from LA to Las Vegas on a nearly empty plane.  The only other passengers?  Chuck Norris and his wife.  Really. Golf recap Sushi gout Goldy's 5k prep Mark meets Chuck Norris Newt's new feature Annette O'Toole TJ's Homebrew Bourbon RIP MN Vikings legends...

Send us Fan Mail Fun little episode.  Jim's swearing got way better. Minimum wage Mark Goldy's Run update Fishing for compliments Race walking New knee update Chuck Norris Chuck Norris Facts Do you think Chuck ever ate at Newt's? Jeff Beck / Stevie Wonder Five Finger Death Punch Songs of the Week: I Still Believe -- The Call No Woman No Cry --Bob Marley and the Wailers Swearing upda...

Send us Fan Mail Yes, the movie Miracle, and no, this episode isn't that old--Mark just takes a while to watch movies.  Also, we loosen up a bit on copyright infringement and play a few notes.  Come and get us--might help our ratings. Finally--Jim apologizes for his profanity and is working on it (still). How February works Chicken whore Right? Joe Walsh--So What? Advice to Rush Songs of the...

Send us Fan Mail We've got your basic Friday the 13th episode complete with a black cat sighting moments before recording.  Were we cursed? Kick 'em in the %*#@ Hello Sharks Newt's 101 Friday the 13th Songs of the Week Tryin'--The Eagles See You Later--Soul Asylum Just regular-stitious Kevin Nealon 2026 Golf predictions Kyler Murray is a Viking Volstead House Jello shots Whiske...

Send us Fan Mail If at first you don't succeed, try 151 more times.  This episode is a reflection of that ambition.  But really, it's not that bad--although Mark says he edited out so much dead air that Jim sounds a bit manic toward the end. Brothers USA! Captain Crunch Shot gunning Cheetos The next Jimmy Stewart RIP Robert Duval War Movies RIP Lou Holtz Pipe Culture RIP Neil Sedaka Sing...

Send us Fan Mail You would think that our 150th episode might be a little bit more impressive...  Think of this as our way of showing how comfortable we are with you, the listeners (both of you).  Kind of like leftovers can be great comfort food or something like that. The Tree of Woe Newt's--Apple Valley's finest, the sponsorship origin story The Medical Minute:  Mark's knees and R...

Send us Fan Mail 5 time guest Chantz and his buddy Alex join us for a matinee recording.  Of course we started the festivities at our awesome sponsor--Newt's in Apple Valley MN.   Jim's pending 5K Chantz's harrowing triathalon The white shorts story and other tales of horror Olympic stuff Anti-Grease hate Jack Black Epic movies Sports shmorts Diseases with human names Songs of the W...

Send us Fan Mail When Mark came up with the idea for this project, he wanted it to be a sports podcast.  Well, today he got his wish as we hit on the Olympics, and the Super Bowl with a little music and some laughs sprinkled in.  Enjoy. Weather report Get a room Jim's last episode ASL MAGIC Super Bowl recap Shoutout Guy Gosselin Newt's--The Best Sponsor Ever Waygu Jim Winter Olympics Kar...

Send us Fan Mail ....Eventually. Fun little episode featuring death, social blunders, wieners and curling.  Tell your friends! The dark days of Bugs Bunny Newt's--Tell 'em we sent you Straight Mark TV For Dogs Mark's awesome white wine story RIP Catherine O'Hara RIP Chuck Negron  How Three Dog Night was named Some actual music talk (I know, right?) Geography for 200, Alex Wiene...

Send us Fan Mail Nice little episode.  A few laughs, very little negativity and a tasteful amount of nudity. Beads Two dogs Newt's--Sports bar without all the bro's 30 gallons Chill out RIP Pat's Dad Loyal listener roll call Gilligan's Island Werner Klemperer Aunt Jemima  Back-to-Back Songs We Will Rock You/We are the Champions--Queen This Beat Goes On/Switchin' to Glide--...

Send us Fan Mail A slight departure to start this one.  Things are getting a bit tense for us, and we address how we deal with it.  As an important piece of context, this was recorded the night before the shooting of Alex Pretti in Minneapolis.  The rant is not related to that incident.   The episode gets a lot happier as we turn to a very incomplete list of American guitarists that we like. Newt&...

Send us Fan Mail Just for fun, Mark invites his college roommate Tommy to join.  That's a bold move, but it wasn't as incriminating as Jim hoped.  Also, Bob Weir of the Grateful Dead died this week (which explains the amount of talk surrounding him). The origin story--bodily fluids have entered the chat Just outside San Antonio Mark's cardigan First Grateful Dead show Bootlegs Thank...