The Ascertainers

Send us Fan Mail Don't let the title fool you, it's not about the Motor City Madman, Ted Nugent.  It's just a topic-free zone this time around. Kdoctor Jim Mansfield Bar Pun of the Day Tune in for Mark's whole family next week! Will Karen hurt Jim? Golf Smack Newt's--Cory brings the heat  Lack of pull tab discipline Jim survived his 5K Apple Valley Car Clinic RIP Dash Crof...

Send us Fan Mail A bonus episode (2nd recording of the night) from a few weeks back.  Jim's lack of profanity is almost too pure. March Madness Yearbook Bracketology Lighten up Karen What's with the toys? Newt's > Cheers This one's for you Lars Songs of the Week Your Smiling Face--James Taylor Lady Oh--Neil Diamond Kids In the Hall--Record Store Snob Greatest Hits--According...

Send us Fan Mail So, after three years of doing this project, Mark decides that he should mention the time he and his wife flew from LA to Las Vegas on a nearly empty plane.  The only other passengers?  Chuck Norris and his wife.  Really. Golf recap Sushi gout Goldy's 5k prep Mark meets Chuck Norris Newt's new feature Annette O'Toole TJ's Homebrew Bourbon RIP MN Vikings legends...

Send us Fan Mail Fun little episode.  Jim's swearing got way better. Minimum wage Mark Goldy's Run update Fishing for compliments Race walking New knee update Chuck Norris Chuck Norris Facts Do you think Chuck ever ate at Newt's? Jeff Beck / Stevie Wonder Five Finger Death Punch Songs of the Week: I Still Believe -- The Call No Woman No Cry --Bob Marley and the Wailers Swearing upda...

Send us Fan Mail Yes, the movie Miracle, and no, this episode isn't that old--Mark just takes a while to watch movies.  Also, we loosen up a bit on copyright infringement and play a few notes.  Come and get us--might help our ratings. Finally--Jim apologizes for his profanity and is working on it (still). How February works Chicken whore Right? Joe Walsh--So What? Advice to Rush Songs of the...

Send us Fan Mail We've got your basic Friday the 13th episode complete with a black cat sighting moments before recording.  Were we cursed? Kick 'em in the %*#@ Hello Sharks Newt's 101 Friday the 13th Songs of the Week Tryin'--The Eagles See You Later--Soul Asylum Just regular-stitious Kevin Nealon 2026 Golf predictions Kyler Murray is a Viking Volstead House Jello shots Whiske...

Send us Fan Mail If at first you don't succeed, try 151 more times.  This episode is a reflection of that ambition.  But really, it's not that bad--although Mark says he edited out so much dead air that Jim sounds a bit manic toward the end. Brothers USA! Captain Crunch Shot gunning Cheetos The next Jimmy Stewart RIP Robert Duval War Movies RIP Lou Holtz Pipe Culture RIP Neil Sedaka Sing...

Send us Fan Mail You would think that our 150th episode might be a little bit more impressive...  Think of this as our way of showing how comfortable we are with you, the listeners (both of you).  Kind of like leftovers can be great comfort food or something like that. The Tree of Woe Newt's--Apple Valley's finest, the sponsorship origin story The Medical Minute:  Mark's knees and R...

Send us Fan Mail 5 time guest Chantz and his buddy Alex join us for a matinee recording.  Of course we started the festivities at our awesome sponsor--Newt's in Apple Valley MN.   Jim's pending 5K Chantz's harrowing triathalon The white shorts story and other tales of horror Olympic stuff Anti-Grease hate Jack Black Epic movies Sports shmorts Diseases with human names Songs of the W...

Send us Fan Mail When Mark came up with the idea for this project, he wanted it to be a sports podcast.  Well, today he got his wish as we hit on the Olympics, and the Super Bowl with a little music and some laughs sprinkled in.  Enjoy. Weather report Get a room Jim's last episode ASL MAGIC Super Bowl recap Shoutout Guy Gosselin Newt's--The Best Sponsor Ever Waygu Jim Winter Olympics Kar...

Send us Fan Mail ....Eventually. Fun little episode featuring death, social blunders, wieners and curling.  Tell your friends! The dark days of Bugs Bunny Newt's--Tell 'em we sent you Straight Mark TV For Dogs Mark's awesome white wine story RIP Catherine O'Hara RIP Chuck Negron  How Three Dog Night was named Some actual music talk (I know, right?) Geography for 200, Alex Wiene...

Send us Fan Mail Nice little episode.  A few laughs, very little negativity and a tasteful amount of nudity. Beads Two dogs Newt's--Sports bar without all the bro's 30 gallons Chill out RIP Pat's Dad Loyal listener roll call Gilligan's Island Werner Klemperer Aunt Jemima  Back-to-Back Songs We Will Rock You/We are the Champions--Queen This Beat Goes On/Switchin' to Glide--...

Send us Fan Mail A slight departure to start this one.  Things are getting a bit tense for us, and we address how we deal with it.  As an important piece of context, this was recorded the night before the shooting of Alex Pretti in Minneapolis.  The rant is not related to that incident.   The episode gets a lot happier as we turn to a very incomplete list of American guitarists that we like. Newt&...

Send us Fan Mail Just for fun, Mark invites his college roommate Tommy to join.  That's a bold move, but it wasn't as incriminating as Jim hoped.  Also, Bob Weir of the Grateful Dead died this week (which explains the amount of talk surrounding him). The origin story--bodily fluids have entered the chat Just outside San Antonio Mark's cardigan First Grateful Dead show Bootlegs Thank...

Send us Fan Mail Kind of a meandering conversation.  In Jim's opinion, it's some of our best work.  And he doesn't even like this podcast. Powered by Newt's (Apple Valley, MN) Potatoes / Ketchup Demographics Cosby (sorry) Timberlake Jessica Beil (what is this--TMZ?) We are in the future Two man dead pool Songs of the Week The Time of the Preacher--Willie Nelson Shining Star--Je...

Send us Fan Mail This episode has something for everyone.  Philippines history, boxing, burps and one old guy explaining KPOP to another old guy.  Oh, and we're giving away 3 Ascertainers T-shirts!  The Philippines The Ascertainer's Newt's Nachos Challenge (not in any way affiliated with Newt's) Jim time traveled Mark could've been a contender Thai Curry--can't even h...

Send us Fan Mail This one was recorded before Christmas, so any current events won't be covered--which helps the episode.  Also, this is the second episode of the night, so if you detect a slight slurring, there's no need to adjust your settings... Stevie Ray Vaughn and Christopher Cross Connection  Dog days of winter Latitude vs longitude lesson (who says this episode isn't cool) S...

Send us Fan Mail Somehow, we've made 140 of these--very hard to believe.  The over/under number from Vegas was 3.5, so we have technically overachieved.  With that said, this episode covers a lot of ground and while potentially entertaining, won't make you a better person. Brown Sugar--just how? Newt's-- you go there and eat good food Mom updates From genius to idiot to back to geni...

Send us Fan Mail Big news on this one is that Mark's been granted clearance to once again enjoy his favorite beverage--Coors Light (potential sponsor?).  Fun little episode with a nice cause to consider linked at the end of this write up. Shoutout Feegeebandmn for the funky theme music Shoutout Jenson Creative for the spiffy T Shirts Shoutout to Newt's Apple Valley for being the best (an...

Send us Fan Mail Well, just like that, it's Winter in Minnesota.  We are joined on this one by the lovely and talented (and tolerant), Kris--Jim's wife. Sea Monkeys Missionary Songs of the Week: The Spirit of Christmas--Ray Charles O Holy Night--Carrie Underwood Petri Dish Mile High Club Passing the Curling torch Christmas Memories Baby it's Cold Outside Dean Martin Bill Maher Conan...

Send us Fan Mail Recorded a matinee following Thanksgiving.  Mark is still on the wagon, and Jim is just getting started, so this one is a bit more coherent than most.   Ever pooped on a plane? Thanksgiving recap Shoutout to our Selena! Football halftime shows Post Malone, Jack White and Eminem Sides/leftovers Dutch oven variations That Gomer Pyle sure can sing Lawrence Welk Songs of the Week: Law...

Send us Fan Mail Today we look at one hit wonders, who prove that to be a known band takes more than one song.  No kidding.  Buried on the One Hit Wonder discussion:  Salute to Service--Thanks Mark, and who was more useless between Oates, Richard Carpenter and The Captain?   More links will be added shortly. Candy Corn facts Halloween disappointments A fist of Gatorade Current events and history Z...

Send us Fan Mail We are just getting back to this following our hiatus, and either Jim was way too amped up or Mark sabotaged Jim in editing to make it sound like he was interrupting--a lot.  You be the judge. I scream you scream Shoutout Alex and Paul for our theme music Gleemer Thank you for your service, Mark Back to ice cream novelties Farewell Pat and Sue The lost art of imagination Mystery T...

Send us Fan Mail Hey everybody--did you miss us?  We had to take a couple of weeks off because Joe Rogan's representation suggested that our ratings were becoming problematic.  We rode it out and are glad you came back! The streak is broken Mark has something to say Shoutout the wonderful Dianne! Gateway meat How to get a Dr  Sponge bath confessions Puddy Song of the Week The Question--Moody...

Send us Fan Mail Back from 3 weeks off and it only kind of shows.  Jim is sorry for the excessive use of the F word.  Stick and stones, people... Bucket trap Newt's--Exciting new menu item:  Milkshakes! Shoutout Lance from ThinkDrinkDisney Song of the Week: VanHalen--Ain't Talkin' 'Bout Love Government Mule and Friends--Soul Shine RIP Local Newsman Stan Turner Deviled Ham Coach...