The Ascertainers

Send us Fan Mail It's Episode 82 already.  You'd think the product would be far better by now.  There are actually a few good laughs on this one, so please enjoy and thank you for listening! Venus Flytrap Mark's musical frustrations Jim's airport reunion MN Vikings remain undefeated at 5-0 Go Lynx? Jim's wreath kid The Schenker brothers Newts--Apple Vally MN's Premier...

Send us Fan Mail Back at it after a week off.  Give it a listen to see if it made any difference. Visit to the Corporate Office Newt's Come for the Burgers, stay for Sara's new hair style! "Up North" Shoutout Jim's old friends Bruce S and Rob K How will the Vikings blow it this year? RIP Pete Rose--they made an example out of you Updating "the list" Heaven's...

Send us Fan Mail Due to our very demanding social calendars, we couldn't record on our normal night, so we grabbed this episode off the top shelf of the pantry--next to the Cream of Tartar and coffee filters for a pot no longer owned. Mark's movie review of Go Shoutout to Mark's buddy and former Ascertainers guest, Steve Are we killing off rock stars? Sorry Rachel Maddow Emphasize t...

Send us Fan Mail We think we may have found a loophole to play music without being sued.  Stay tuned and save up bail money for us just in case. Newt's--still #1 in our hearts, livers and stomachs.  Go there! Should we go green? Mark spurs international tension The big watch Pickpocket vs Peeping Tom Radio Game* Who's better than Rob Halford? Hooked on a Feeling Obscure Rock Facts/Trivia...

Send us Fan Mail Today we are joined by multi-episode guest, Jason.  This one is the second attempt of the night as the first one got a little too real (colonoscopies were discussed).  This one is pretty fun, though. Apologies to Dr Seuss Jerry Garcia's nub Radio Game First 8oo8 witnessed in a movie National Geographic Newt's--Jalapeno Popper Burger.  Give it a try! Yes shoutout Influent...

Send us Fan Mail Dripping with overconfidence from the previous episode, our heroes realize that luster will soon fade, so they barely even try on this one.  They lean into the suck.  Enjoy! Another one bites the dust Best of the worst? Easily Distracted Errors and Omissions Newt's--Legendary Tots Radio Game --the pot grows Jim's non-partisan political observations Check out these balls...

Send us Fan Mail Taking a rare break from music (pause for laughter) to bring you a universally popular topic--Pizza.  Of course, we get to it and then distract ourselves a time or three.  During Errors and Omissions, we get very close to passing out while laughing.   Sci Fi philosophy Jim's gets his podcast review from Mark Jay Mohr Brokeback denial Newt's promo--we again get sidetracke...

Send us Fan Mail This one is a tad spicy and faster paced.  Makes up for when we usually mail it in. Early shot at Noah Lyles Convention synopsis Jim's playing hurt Todd O shoutout Mark's fashion mastery White socks--in or out Newt's--New bartender Beth is legit Radio Game Errors & Omissions Word game in last write up (answers in the hashtags below) Offensive Commercials Armour...

Send us Fan Mail We went into this episode with the best intentions of talking about singers with average-to-bad voices that worked perfectly for their band, but then Jim made a life choice at dinner.  He ordered a big salad and somehow that decision--and its aftermath--took up a healthy portion of the episode. Should've known better. Touch and Go Bert Convey reference Does Jim correct Mark t...

Send us Fan Mail Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee, and nobody doesn't like Little River Band.  It had to be said.  Join us as we rip on each other for a solid 45 minutes (but in a good way). Your non-political oasis Radio Game enhancement $$ More on Mark's giant watch Golf controversy (and bonus Goldmember reference) Shoutout potential new listener LeeAnn (D.O.B. 1990) Noah Lyles--the R...

Send us Fan Mail When you hit rock bottom, you've got nowhere else to go but up!  Our daubers were down after last episode, but we rallied and this one is just about as good/bad as the average.  Some laughs, some interesting trivia, and (spoiler alert), nobody wins the radio game. Davenport Sears--what happened? Newt's--New Bartender--possibly named Beth A rare Audrey sighting Errors and...

Send us Fan Mail Due to scheduling issues and a bout with Covid, we had a 3-week hiatus from recording.  You might think we'd be rejuvenated and ready to deliver some mind-blowing stuff, but we both agreed that this episode might be one of our most low-key yet.  Maybe you like that sort of thing, but we are working on bouncing back with some more upbeat stuff for our next couple. Now you have...

Send us Fan Mail Super-guest Steve (Mark's friend, not Jim's brother--who is no slouch) is on for our first ever successful 3rd recording in one session.  We really wanted to talk about 1981 music, but what do you know?  We talked mostly about cars of that era. Around the world with Steve Guest Newt's spokesman Radio Game Water beds Aaand we're talking cars again Pre cup holder...

Send us Fan Mail This is part two of our recording session with Mark's HS buddy, Steve.  So much natural conversation that we dang near blew through without an introduction and even omitted the Radio Game.  You're welcome. Bob Dylan fading Bruce Springsteen still gives it That time Ted Nugent babysat Steve Oregon Trail Newt's:  Because we asked nicely Life lessons from Charlie Danie...

Send us Fan Mail Today we are joined by Mark's best friend from High School, Steve (not to be confused with Jim's brother Steve).  If you judge someone's character by the company they keep, Mark must be a good dude. RIP Saxophonists Newt's--New Burger of the Month and we're not even mad Even more disorganized live Shoutout Jim's car guy, Griffin Mark's hidden acc...

Send us Fan Mail We dial it down in terms of tone and volume from last episode with Jim's family.  Throwing another music one at you --seeing as we are supposed to be a music podcast and all. Public corrections Newt's and Mark's bacon Shoutout Feegee (creators of our theme music) Mark's championship editing skills Free Tootsie Pops, er no? Unfrosted Radio Game Very partially tr...

Send us Fan Mail I know what you're thinking--are these the people Jim grew up with or was one of them bitten by a radioactive spider.  The jury is still out on that one.  We celebrate Jim's mom's birthday with some laughs and just the right amount of brotherly angst. **Because we had 5 people and only 4 microphones, Jim decided to sit between 2 mic's to be accommodating.  Only...

Send us Fan Mail We finally persuade Mark's wife, Dianne, to sit in on an episode.  We told her she didn't have to talk or anything--just check it out and she could chime in if she wanted to.  Basically, the podcast version of just the tip.  Well, we got more than we bargained for as she did chime in, and she was awesome! Meatloaf again Newt's--The Place to Be! Radio Game (featuring...

Send us Fan Mail If you ever wanted to know how Jim would react to winning the Radio Game--this episode is for you.  What started innocently as a second episode of the night turned into some pretty good laughs and a good time overall.  Mark really liked this one. Multi-media exposure Grab bag redux OG Newt's Kiss Army Mark's grooming tips The Miracle Worker--Helen Reddy Shoutout Carlos i...

Send us Fan Mail New concept tonight.  We're not pointing any fingers here, but everyone knew Mark and Jim would run out of topics sooner or later.  So tonight, we break out the Grab Bag.  Might be a worthy concept, but who's kidding who? Newt's shoutouts Mark and Jim leave fashionably late Thank goodness we're not political RIP Bill Walton Team America World Police recommendat...

Send us Fan Mail As the title indicates, we could use some of YOUR input on music topics.  I mean it's not like we talk about any topic for more than 1/4 of any episode (although there is some juicy Molly Hatchet and Jethro Tull stuff in the radio game today). Thanks for the theme music, feegee (@feegeeband) Mark shot a 50 and he's going to STATE! Errors & Omissions Watch "The W...

Send us Fan Mail In the spirit of the new golf season, we had to use a Mulligan on this one.  We recorded on our usual night, and it turned out even less good/more bad than usual.  We added Jim's wife for support and got a much better result. Golf recap We put the suck in seersucker Mark's Bird Island-Lake Lillian glory days story Puckered has entered the chat Our video debut Newt's...

Send us Fan Mail Hey, we made it to 60--and still aren't very good.  What does say about you for listening? Newt's is HOPPING New car to Mark Size concerns Movie Reviews:  Clerks and Blade Runner 2049 Radio Game Bee  Gees Documentary Eff Jimmy Fallon Timberwolves--can they do it? Sprewell's financial prowess Kentucky Derby update Errors & Omissions 2024 golf preview Musicians th...

Send us Fan Mail We take a slight left turn from almost being a music podcast to talk about the thing everyone in our demographic can relate to in some way--Wide World of Sports. Reunted and it feels so good International listeners Wedding recap--guy style Jim's cool friends New Newt's Featured Item--we're not mad....just disappointed Beyond burger shoutout Radio Game RIP Dickey Bet...

Send us Fan Mail May was rough on us schedule-wise.  We'll record a fresh episode on the night this one is released.  In other words, this episode was recorded a while back and has been aging in the barrel.  Careful--we don't know how strong it is. No matter how you spell it... Earth's gonna earth The European Model Iman and other one-named celebrities Joey Browner--we (Jim) promise...