Your Secret Is Safe With Me

Tune in this week to discover the price of living in convenience over taking uncomfortable action. Even when we know that making the effort to change our behavior would benefit us in the overall scheme of things, Dr. Marie Murphy is sharing why so many people would rather take the convenient route, and how to see what you stand to gain by finally dealing with it.     Get full show notes and more i...

Let's say you're in a committed relationship and you've done something that counts as cheating, and your partner knows about it. There is indeed something you might owe them. However, if you think you need to make your partner feel better, answer their questions, share your thoughts, right your wrongs, agree to protocols to reestablish trust, and suffer like your partner is suffering, what Dr. Mar...

Some people are very preoccupied, perhaps even obsessed, with the question of why people cheat. But is that a helpful question to ask? Dr. Marie Murphy is here to show you why, although every single person is responsible for their actions, nobody acts in a vacuum. Social conditions create the context in which cheating happens, so you'll learn about the circumstances that make it more likely for ch...

Tune in this week because Dr. Marie Murphy is unpacking the question, "Is monogamy natural or unnatural?" Marie is diving deep into what natural even means, the meaning that gets applied to the word natural , and why it only gets more complicated when you try to bring the natural versus unnatural debate to how you think about your relationships, monogamy, and what you really want in your sexual an...

Maybe you want to leave your marriage, but you're not sure exactly why yet. Perhaps you think your marriage is something you should aspire to and value, but you're not fully wanting it. Asking yourself, "Why would I want to leave a perfect relationship?" is the wrong question. So, in this episode, Dr. Marie Murphy is showing you how to ask yourself the right questions that show you what you really...

Tune in this week to discover why your attempts to systematically compare your relationships aren't helping you make a decision. Dr. Marie Murphy is sharing why being in a relationship with more than one wonderful person isn't some kind of terrible problem that needs resolving immediately, and she's showing you how to decide what you really want, so you can make a checklist that actually works for...

Despite what you may have told yourself, it's your human right to have desires and make choices in the service of what you want, regardless of whether other people like them or not. If you're in the midst of an infidelity situation, you don't need anybody telling you what you should be doing. You need to figure out what you want and how to get it, so in this episode, I'm showing you how to cultiva...

Pain and suffering may be inevitable parts of the human experience. But when we can learn to deal with our discomfort differently, we can eliminate unnecessary suffering. So, tune in this week to discover how to deal with a vindictive affair partner, and how to use your thinking to get clear on what exactly it is you're afraid of, how likely it is that your fears will be realized, and how you woul...

Tune in this week for some non-judgmental advice if you've been caught in the act of cheating, or been presented with irrefutable evidence of your cheating. Dr. Marie Murphy is focusing on your feelings about getting caught, dealing with your partner's response to what's going on, and how to decide on the way you want to frame your story - what you want to disclose, and thinking carefully about wh...

Is emotional discomfort getting in the way of what you want most from your relationships? When faced with a situation that challenges your growth, it is normal to feel discomfort. How can you embrace that discomfort to rebuild your relationship? When transforming your relationship, you need to concede that emotional discomfort — just like physical discomfort — is part of life. According to Dr. Mar...

Do you find yourself torn between wanting to resolve your relationship worries and being afraid of negative consequences? What is the best way to deal with infidelity drama, uncertainty, and intrusive thoughts? Dr. Marie Murphy says it all starts with being faithful to yourself. She shares her advice on various challenges that could seem terrifying and explains how facing these challenges can brin...

When it comes to romantic relationships, what are your expectations and intentions? How can you contribute to your relationship constructively to ensure your needs are met? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, your relationships with others are important, but the relationship you have with yourself is even more significant. How you contribute to a relationship carries the most weight, so it's crucial to...

When confronted with grief, difficult situations, or relationship challenges, it's easy to convince ourselves of uncertainty or confusion to avoid making tough decisions. Yet, these thoughts are often unproductive and promote stagnancy. So, how can you change your mindset to overcome these difficulties? Dr. Marie Murphy recommends establishing what you know and want so you can begin to make decisi...

Why do you want to re-engage in your primary relationship? How can you intentionally generate excitement and a deep passion with your primary partner? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, the convenient option of re-engaging with your primary does not mean it is obligatory. While the comfortable and familiar route may be the easiest, it also comes with challenges, difficulties, and awkwardness. Dr. Murp...

When presented with the prospect of dismantling their lives by ending their marriage, people may become dismayed. What happens when your affair partner doesn't leave their marriage — but you do? It can be easy to downgrade your value and blame your partner's actions on the explanation that you're deeply and fatally flawed. When someone makes a choice, Dr. Marie Murphy says you can't manage what ot...

What happens when your affair partner becomes needy of your attention and affection? How can you handle the feelings of discomfort and uncertainty when ending your marriage while being pushed by your affair partner to make a decision? Dr. Marie Murphy says it's all about how you manage your mind and deal with your emotions. You feel good when you're with your affair partner, so you begin to expect...

It's easy to feel exhausted when you're constantly at someone else's disposal. Society's biases toward a Martyr Complex can make it difficult to talk about — especially when you're told to sacrifice your own happiness at someone else's expense. How can you set boundaries to achieve your own happiness, even when it feels difficult? Loretta knows what it is like to face challenges, stigmas, and resp...

If you've ever found yourself staring your desires in the face, it can be challenging to ride the emotional waves that follow. Trying to suppress your desire can be exhausting — but what if there was another way? How can you prioritize the experience of feeling your desires without taking any action? Dr. Marie Murphy recommends practice. Try allowing yourself to feel your desires, even if they lea...

Do you struggle with competing desires in your relationship? Do you find yourself unable to reconcile those longings? Desire is a complex emotion that can take many forms, so how do you learn to navigate all of its intricacies? For most of her adult life, Katy Dion internalized stereotypes about motherhood and the ideal relationship, leading to conflicting desires. It wasn't until she tried to sep...

Engaging in a new infidelity situation can carry intense and conflicting emotions. How can you handle the magnitude and mixture of your feelings? Is it possible to find clarity during these heightened moments? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, the intensity of the emotions accompanying a new relationship is compounded with an infidelity situation — especially if the relationship is forbidden or you h...

How can you find clarity about your thoughts surrounding couples therapy or counseling? If you already feel sure about ending your relationship, what are your reasons for wanting to go? Before going to couples therapy, you need to have a clear understanding of your reason for attending. According to Dr. Marie Murphy, many people go into couple's therapy because they're looking to stall difficult c...

If you've had an affair that's now ended, you may be worried about what this secret will mean for the future of your marriage. Does keeping your cheating a secret doom your marriage to failure? Do you still deserve love and happiness after your infidelity? Will your marriage still have trust? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, these are all common fears — but none of them are true unless you believe t...

If you experience a major upheaval in your relationship, the disruption can feel like your world is crumbling down. How can you deal with this radical adjustment? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, it may feel like bad shit is happening, but through destruction comes opportunities. If you deliberately choose to restructure your life from the rubble, you can build and grow your authentic self. Dr. Murp...