The Rising Beyond Podcast

Struggling to keep the peace with a high-conflict ex? Does setting boundaries make you so uncomfortable that you don’t do it?  But then you are kicking yourself and are full of resentment because you said yes to something that you absolutely do not want to do or don’t have time for? This value-packed episode of "The Rising Beyond Podcast" features sisters, Jan and Jillian Yuhas, who shar...

What is the most damaging lie your narcissistic ex partner has said about you?  And who are they saying it to? The smear campaign can be extremely hurtful and can cause a lot of problems with receiving support, maintaining relationships, and even family court outcomes. But why do perpetrators of domestic violence and coercive control use the smear campaign post separation? The are trying to get ba...

How does co-parenting change when either you or your narcissistic ex partner finds a new significant other? What role does your new partner play in the situation? Safety Alert: Oftentimes your abuser will increase their intensity of post separation abuse when you find a new partner.  This is not meant to scare, only to inform. First, it is important to have open communication with your new partner...

Documentation is extremely important for victims and survivors of domestic violence and narcissistic abuse.  But is what you are documenting really going to matter?  And how can we keep it safe? In this episode of The Rising Beyond Podcast, I interview Sheri Kurdakul on her experience as a survivor, the shortcomings of the family court system and other larger systems, and why she decided to create...

Everyone that knows anything about our family court system knows that it continues to harm survivors of domestic violence and narcissistic abuse.  Most want extreme court reform, while those that benefit would like to keep it just like it is. In this episode I share my experience testifying at the House Judiciary Committee in support of HB24-1350 and how listening to the opposition and those who s...

Everyone talks about the financial abuse that occurs when you are in an abusive relationship.  But what happens after you leave? The financial abuse continues during post separation abuse and oftentimes gets worse.  When an abuser believes they are losing control of their victim, they will adapt, intensify and find other ways to abuse.   This includes refusing to pay child support or becoming unde...

Coparenting with a narcissist is a challenge no matter the age of your child.  We often focus on co-parenting when your children are younger because of the inherent safety concerns.  But things don’t necessarily get easier as your children get older. There are new challenges when you are co-parenting your teens. There are still safety concerns, but they look different. Some of the new areas of con...

What role should extended family play in your life and your children’s lives after divorcing a narcissist? Your divorce will have a ripple effect on those in yours and your children’s lives and your extended family will feel this.  Your ex’s extended family will also be impacted.  The role they get to have in your life and your children’s lives will vary depending on the situation and your relatio...

Has the constant stress from your narcissistic relationship and continued post separation abuse had a negative impact on your physical health? It is common that the constant hypervigilance and ongoing trauma will cause problems with sleep, your digestive system, your immune system…basically all of your systems. Is there anything you can do about it? In this episode of The Rising Beyond Podcast I t...

When addiction intersects with domestic violence and narcissistic abuse scary things can happen. The intensity of abuse typically increases and leaves so many women off balance. Many victims hold onto the hope that if their partner becomes sober, they will no longer be abusive and this is the explanation many perpetrators of abuse will use to continue abusing their partners. And while there are si...

You finally left your narcissistic partner and find yourself a single parent.  (Let’s be real here, you were basically a single parent before)  And being a single parent is HARD! You’re working, maintaining a home, helping with homework, planning meals, driving to the extra curricular activities, and more.  And, you likely also have a full time job mitigating everything that comes up during post s...

How often are you kicking yourself because you said “Yes” to something when you didn’t have the time or backed down and agreed to one of your ex’s requests because you just wanted to avoid the conflict? Being a victim of domestic violence and narcissistic abuse will lead to fawning or people-pleasing behaviors as a way to maintain safety and the idea of control and calm. People pleasing was a skil...

For those of you dealing with post separation abuse and the family court system this episode is for you. How can you live your life accepting or stomaching the decisions made by a judge or evaluator that you know in your heart is not in the best interest of your children. How do we just accept that our systems are unjust when it is negatively affecting our babies?  Hopefully these strategies will...

If you have google searched “Is my husband/partner a narcissist?” then it is very likely that they are. You know that something is wrong, but it does not feel like domestic violence is the correct term because you’ve never been hit.  You’ve read some things on narcissism, but what you know of narcissism doesn’t quite fit your partner. So what is it? In this episode, I talk with Stephany Ann on som...

If your parenting plan is not working or there has been a change in yours or your child’s lives to where the parenting plan no longer reflects the actual needed arrangements for the child, what do you do? If you are coparenting with a narcissist, broaching a change in the parenting plan can feel extremely scary.  You know that it will be a catalyst for increased engagement and conflict.  So, what...

The trauma of an abusive relationship impacts your life in so many ways.  And if the trauma remains unresolved it can show up in your body in a myriad of ways. Elizabeth Kipp uses the phrase “Being alone in your wound” to describe how it can feel when you have experienced domestic violence and narcissistic abuse and continue experiencing post separation abuse in the aftermath.  This aloneness can...

How often do you feel misunderstood and invalidated when talking with family and friends or even the professionals in your case? It is so frustrating when you get the questions or comments from folks who clearly do not understand narcissistic abuse or domestic violence. How many times have you been in a situation with someone where you wish you had that one-liner that would stop someone in their t...

One of the best weapons of a narcissistic partner is to shame you into believing you are a horrible parent. Abusers use many tactics while in a relationship with their victim in order to illicit shame including gaslighting, constant criticism, counter parenting, questioning every decision made, and getting you to doubt your abilities to take care of your children. These tactics cause significant h...

What if there was a way for you to show the patterns of coercive control still present in your co-parenting relationship with your narcissistic ex partner? And what if there was a way you could organize all of your documentation for family court without having the trauma of going back and reading  through everything? A resource like this is just around the corner and I am talking with the creator...

Victims and survivors of domestic violence and narcissistic abuse minimize their experience through comparison, which prevents you from fully healing. If you have ever thought “I should just stop complaining or stay quiet,” because someone else’s situation seems so much worse than yours then you need to listen to this episode.   Or maybe you are constantly thinking, “Why can’t I just get over this...

Do you struggle with being present in the moment?   Trauma  after surviving domestic violence and narcissistic abuse and continually being triggered during post separation abuse, mindfulness can be extremely difficult. Do you feel like mindfulness is out of reach because you equate mindfulness with meditating on a beautiful beach? Mindfulness means that you are aware of where you are at this momen...

What needs to happen for survivors of domestic violence and narcissistic abuse to get a fair shake in family court? The overwhelming majority of people you ask will say family court reform or maybe that we need to burn it down to the ground and start again. And while those of us in this space see the egregious nature of how survivors are treated in family court, at this point there does not seem t...

The support space for working with victims and survivors of domestic violence is confusing.  It can be really difficult to know who to trust. We talk about rebuilding trust all the time on the podcast and within The Rising Beyond Community and I find myself in a parallel process as I find the best people to share their stories, insights, and strategies with you.   I can have an amazing conversatio...

If you are in family court with an abusive and narcissistic ex partner it is likely that the possibility of having a court/custody evaluation will be on the table. Is having a separate person who is supposed to be neutral evaluate your case in order to give recommendations to the judge always helpful?  Ever helpful? There are many nuances to making the decision to choose and  hire a family court e...

The holidays are coming and guess who always seems to ruin them? That’s right, your narcissistic partner or ex partner.  Whether you are still with your abusive partner or you are separated, special occasions are a great time and place for them to cause chaos. Think back to all of the important events and holidays that you shared with your ex partner and see how many of them were ruined or sabotag...