The Rising Beyond Podcast

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, and in this Friday Coaching Corner, we’re talking about what happens when a survivor follows all the directions she has been given and is still left feeling unprotected. A mother has a protection order against her former partner, but he continues to violate it. When she reports the violations, she is dismissed and made to feel as though she is overreac...

What makes your shoulders drop? Maybe it’s hearing a familiar voice. Pulling on your favorite sweatshirt. Sitting in the one chair where your body seems to soften. Spending a few quiet minutes in your car. Or being with someone who doesn’t require you to explain, perform, or carefully monitor their mood. When you are healing from coercive control, especially while dealing with post-separation abus...

What happens when a police officer is experiencing domestic violence—and the person harming her is also in law enforcement? Dottie Davis served with the Fort Wayne Police Department for 32 years and rose to the rank of Deputy Chief. But her rank, training, and professional expertise did not protect her from abuse behind closed doors. In this episode, Dottie joins Sybil to discuss the realities of...

When you are still dealing with coercive control or post-separation abuse, healing can feel impossible. How do you rebuild a life when the abuse has not completely ended? In this episode, I’m joined by Anne Paphitis, a survivor and life coach joining us from Ireland. We talk about how she found moments of joy while she was still in her marriage and continued rebuilding herself through the fallout...

If you have ever had your therapist tell you, "That's a legal issue, talk to your attorney," only to have your attorney tell you, "That's something to talk about with your therapist," you know how frustrating it can be to feel like you're the only person connecting all the pieces. And in cases involving coercive control, post-separation abuse, and family court, t...

Mica Miller’s story has brought coercive control into the public conversation, but this episode is not about speculating about her death or turning her life into another true crime story. It is about learning to recognize the pattern. When we look at each behavior separately, the seriousness can be easy to miss. A tracking device. Repeated messages and calls. Financial control. Public humiliation....

A protective mom is preparing for her final family court hearing after receiving a fairly neutral CFI report. The evaluator acknowledged that domestic violence occurred during the relationship but did not recognize the post-separation abuse she continues to experience. Although the parenting-time recommendations leaned slightly in her favor, the CFI did not recommend sole decision-making. After he...

Family court asks survivors to explain years of coercive control within a system that often focuses on isolated incidents, limited evidence, and only a few hours of conversation. So how do you make sure the right information is actually heard? In this episode, I’m joined by Renee Rodriguez from The Custody Blueprint and Best Foot Forward Consulting, LLC. Renee shares how her own experience with co...

If it feels like no one fully understands what happens at the intersection of domestic violence and the larger systems survivors are forced to navigate, this conversation is for you. So many women we serve are not only healing from coercive control. They are also trying to make sense of what happens when the systems they believed would help instead dismiss their experiences, restrict their choices...

If they see the safety concerns, why can’t they tell the court? In this episode, I pull back the curtain on the role of a treating therapist in cases involving coercive control, post-separation abuse, and family court. I explain why a child’s therapist must remain focused on the child, why a survivor’s therapist may be cautious about testifying, and how therapy records, diagnoses, and even honest...

What if just one professional truly understood coercive control? What if your therapist, evaluator, attorney, judge, child protection worker, or GAL recognized the patterns that so often go unseen? Would your family's story look different? In this episode, I share more than 20 of the most important things I believe professionals need to understand about coercive control, post-separation abuse...

This week's question comes from a protective mom navigating one of the most heartbreaking and misunderstood situations in family court. Her teenage daughter refuses to go to her dad's house. She's crying, begging not to go, and sometimes won't even get out of the car. She's too old to physically carry, and her mom doesn't want to force her in a way that could be traum...

Back-to-school season often brings more than new teachers, new classmates, and new routines. For many protective parents, it also marks the beginning of a new round of smear campaigns. Whether it's with teachers, other parents, coaches, family members, or professionals involved in your case, someone who uses coercive control often looks for opportunities to shape the narrative before you have...

Artificial intelligence is everywhere, including family court. More and more protective parents are telling me that their ex has suddenly started sending perfectly written messages, using AI to draft legal documents, or threatening to subpoena their ChatGPT conversations. It's understandable to feel intimidated. But does AI actually give an abusive person more power? Or is it simply another t...

This week's episode comes from a question I was asked by a group of family law attorneys. "What behaviors can we look for in a child that tell us coercive control or domestic violence is happening?" On the surface, it seems like a simple question. But the more I sat with it, the more I realized just how complicated, and potentially harmful, that question can become. As a child thera...

Leaving an abusive relationship is only the beginning. For many survivors, the legal system becomes the next obstacle, especially when financial abuse, intimidation, and limited access to legal representation leave them trying to navigate family court alone. I'm talking with Heather Bellino from the Texas Advocacy Project to discuss the often-overlooked civil legal needs of survivors and the...

You left the relationship. You're rebuilding your life. You're even trying to reconnect with friends. So why does every interaction leave you questioning everything? In this Friday Coaching Corner, I answer a listener question from a survivor who wants connection but finds herself constantly analyzing whether people are genuine, worrying about how she showed up, and struggling to trust h...

What do you do when the outcome you feared actually happens? What happens when you've lost time with your children, the professionals who were supposed to protect them didn't listen, and you're wondering how you're supposed to keep going? This is one of the heaviest episodes I've ever recorded—but it's also one of the most important. Too often, survivors are told to &...

Colorado recently signed HB26-1309 into law, and many survivors and protective parents are asking what it actually means for families navigating family court. I break down what I am learning about HB26-1309, a bill focused on domestic violence, coercive control, and child safety in Colorado family courts. While some headlines make it sound like family court has been completely transformed overnigh...

What if the therapy that was supposed to help actually made things worse? For many survivors of coercive control, couples therapy doesn't bring clarity, it deepens confusion, self-doubt, and shame. In this episode, I'm joined by licensed marriage and family therapist Frances Russell to talk about why traditional couples therapy can be harmful when coercive control or domestic violence is...

Attachment theory has become one of the most talked-about topics in the dating and relationship world. You have probably heard terms like anxious attachment, avoidant attachment, secure attachment, and disorganized attachment. Maybe you've even wondered whether your attachment style played a role in your abusive relationship. But what if attachment theory isn't about blaming yourself? In...

What if your body isn’t betraying you… but trying to protect you? In this episode, we’re rethinking the relationship survivors often have with their bodies after trauma. I’m joined by Karianne Gwinn to talk about the very real physical impact domestic violence and chronic stress can have on the body, including digestive issues, chronic pain, fatigue, nervous system dysregulation, and feeling disco...

Your child stopped fighting parenting time… but something still feels off. In this FCC episode, we unpack what may be happening when a young child goes from visible distress to emotional shutdown during transitions, how to think about attachment and regulation, and ways to support reconnection while avoiding assumptions or panic.  From a child mental health perspective, what could be happening whe...

What if “coparenting” isn’t failing because you are doing it wrong? And instead, it is not working because the map you were given on how to do it is not meant for “coparenting” with someone abusive. The way that our system is designed sets a huge trap for protective parents who want to do everything they can to protect their children and allows for someone who uses coercive control to maneuver in...

If you're sharing children with an abusive or controlling ex, parenting can feel like walking a tightrope. Every mistake feels high stakes. Every emotional moment feels like evidence. And many protective moms carry a quiet fear that if they don't do everything perfectly, they could lose connection with their child—or worse. In this episode, I'm challenging the myth of perfect parent...