Recovery Daily Podcast

Yesterday I was standing on a curb about to step in to a parking lot when I realized that I couldn’t see so well looking from left to right. In retrospect, I also realized that despite being acknowledged as totally and permanently disabled, I haven’t accepted that my vision disorder puts my safety at risk during something as simple as crossing the street. It’s easier to wave it off and say, “I’m f...

Today’s Daily Reflection was about how resentment acts as a dam. And I agree that it does block the flow of love, trust, and connections in our lives. The 12 steps of my sobriety program provide me with a framework for admitting hurt, making amends, and maintaining relationships. Today I was given the gift of making amends with someone in my life. Ironically my morning meeting prepared me by sugge...

Reframing shifts my self-talk from “Poor me” to “What action do I need to take?”. I’m slowly erasing the illusion that I ever had control of anything past my fingertips. By renaming challenges as just a thing instead of threat to my happiness, I trade panic for possibility. Small tweaks in my approach, like swapping dread for diligence, seeking actionable next steps, and recalling past wins rewire...

The moments I’ve felt weakest and doubted my worth with imposter syndrome have quietly become the steepest accents in my growth. Each time I dropped the mic after shaking through a presentation, I discovered a deeper resilience and fiercer courage. I felt pressure throughout my life to look strong and unfazed, but it kept my fears isolated within me.  Strength and connection surfaces when I get vu...

Self-care is strategic maintenance of our whole selves, not just the version of you that is present on any given day. When I take an outdoor walk, get enough sleep, or enjoy a hobby, I’m refueling so that I can be present for the rest of life and those around me. I think clearer, my emotions soften, and I have leftovers to nourish my relationships. Selfishness looks similar on the surface, but the...

I talk a lot in today’s podcast episode and say a lot about nothing. Yet that nothingness is where the real work happens for me. I’m feeling sorry for myself that I can’t do simple things that others can do because of my disability. But I know that when my emotional tank flashes empty and my inspiration sputters, I still have one reserve: a power greater than myself. It is that which keeps me reco...

My stubborn grip on self-will kept me trapped in my character defects, and sometimes still does. Freedom began when I admitted that white-knuckling life wasn’t working, and I confided in another human being. That honesty cracked the lid open, letting humility breathe in. Humility felt like humiliation at first. It was hard to admit who I’d become and who I wish I was instead. But only then was I g...

For me, a spiritual awakening is a slowly emerging new state of consciousness where we can be honest with ourselves, tolerant of others, and serene when alone with our thoughts. This inner shift begins with willingness to change, challenging self-will, and acknowledge my distorted thinking.  My program requires daily work to guard against my disease. Being honest with myself is the hardest part. I...

I create pressure on myself to stay constantly productive. In my career, I was juggling tasks, saying yes to everything, and in a constant state of “on.” You know who introduced me to the concept of slowing down? My dog trainers! My Weimaraner, Autumn, was difficult to train when I was solely focused on producing an outcome instantly. Instead of pushing harder and moving faster like she was, I nee...

Yesterday I had a cardiac loop recorder implanted to help uncover any silent AFib that may have triggered my stroke. The procedure at Georgetown Hospital took only a few minutes, but the lead-up felt like a full surgery: gown, sterile drapes, and a small incision over my chest. Although local anesthetic prevented pain, the unfamiliar setup and sheet over my face sparked a brief panic attack and le...

Addiction steals freedom by creating a mirage of self-sufficiency that collapses into isolation. I define freedom as when my “wanter” aligns with my “should’r”, or in other words, when I want to do the next right thing. I discovered an innate spiritual hunger and examined my behavioral patterns, motives, and fears that were blurring my clarity and severing my connections. Unchecked drinking drove...

Before sobriety, I lived with a constant sense of impending doom. My nervous system was fried, and my health was failing while my mind was numb to the real danger—myself. My relationships deteriorated, and I ultimately lost my job because I had become a high-risk employee. Self-reliance was no longer enough. I was confident that I’d crossed a point of no return with alcohol. Recognizing a power gr...

I find incredible healing in speaking my truth out loud (obviously). Painful secrets, lingering shame, and behavior patterns I wasn’t proud of, kept me stuck. I was in a loop of secrecy and self-protection. When I talked about the stuff I kept hidden for all those years it lost its grip on me. I began to tremble less and smiled more. It wasn’t immediate, and it was scary, but I wanted to live more...

We rush, grind, and sometimes drag through our routines, adding collagen to our morning coffee half-asleep, singing through stop-and-go traffic, and robotically checking off work tasks. Some days feel like I’m stuck in a loop of monotony. It leaves me with a lingering sense that I’m missing out on something deeper and more meaningful. There's a quiet ache for more connection, purpose, and joy....

In a world of social media filters and KPIs, our desire to be flawless personally and professionally can feel unrelenting. We want to present a sculpted life all while holding ourselves to standards that are unrealistic. These expectations, even when self-generated, create toxic self-criticism. The pursuit of perfection manifests as stress, anxiety, and burnout. Take the example of a young profess...

Constant digital notifications, endless to-do lists, and the pressure to always be available have quietly stolen precious hours from my life. Saying yes to everything brought burnout, stress, and missed opportunities for time with myself, rest, reflection, and personal growth. After experiencing a stroke in 2021, I was forced to reclaim my time. Letting go of the life I once knew and sitting with...

Today is my nine-year sobriety anniversary! On April 28, 2016, I woke up in a detox center with a blood alcohol content of zero. That was the beginning of a new life. To honor this milestone, my mom, sister, and niece joined me for a mini celebration. We shared sushi, painted together, and started a special canvas project that my sober friends will soon add to. It serves as a lasting reminder of t...

I used to be adamant that people don’t change. What I should have understood is that I can’t change people. Change doesn’t happen unless I change myself. I chased peace and quiet by muting my inner critic and the world around me with alcohol. My fixed mindset kept me stagnant and emotionally unwell. I just kept repeating unhealthy behaviors because I feared change. The day the pain of staying the...

I LOVE Cinderella! I even had it as my vanity plate for a while. Chasing happiness in a bigger house, a new job, or a perfectly attentive partner kept me stuck on life’s emotional treadmill. When I center myself in gratitude for the gifts in my life, I stop looking for happiness externally and find it inside of me. Happiness is a byproduct of showing up for my life exactly as it is, rather than wh...

I found out that my friend passed away from liver failure. I didn’t record yesterday, because I didn’t know what to say. Everything I reached for felt insufficient. Thankfully, I had a timely psychiatrist appointment that morning. I knew it was important to talk honestly about what this grief feels like, especially since so many of my friends are feeling it too.  Grief feels like wandering in a da...

When I was a kid, I believed life was my personal Broadway show; the lights flipped on upon awakening and dimmed when I entered dreamland. Drinking froze my emotional growth, so the spotlight never moved off me. Sobriety and stroke ripped down that set, as I saw the world keep spinning without me. I’ve learned that nobody cares about me as much as I do, which has changed from feelings of isolation...

I remember the tailspin of my last drinking years, although it is a chaotic blur with intermittent blackouts. I was knocking back wine until dawn while working remotely for the family business, dragging my teenagers to school on three hours’ sleep, then crashing again until the West Coast office opened. Quarterly Reno trips turned into liquid marathons, airport bars at sunrise, a missed flight, an...

I started to recognize patterns in my behavior and emotions through working steps 4, 8, and 10. Step 4 initiates self-awareness through a searching and fearless inventory of ourselves, uncovering character defects and emotional triggers. Step 8 extends this work by identifying people we harmed and becoming willing to make amends for disrupting their peace of mind. And then step 10 provides guidanc...

Doing a self-inventory every night was something I started early in sobriety. I have this little prayer card that leads me through a brief reflection on my thoughts, emotions, and behaviors during that day. This regular inventory allows me to acknowledge where I might have been selfish, dishonest, resentful, or afraid throughout the day. I can make things right before I go to bed. Not only does it...

I have a tendency to want to cancel my psychiatrist appointment when I’m feeling good. I’ve made a deal with myself to never cancel, because each appointment is like putting a penny in my emotional piggy bank, saving up for when I’m struggling and need to make a withdrawal. I must practice my program in all my affairs on good days and bad.  Today I wrote some questions to check in with myself on h...