Recovery Daily Podcast

Some days, the best thing I can do is admit that my brain has reached its limit. In this episode, I share what it's really like to live with a vestibular disorder after stroke, how symptoms change from moment to moment, why treating one symptom reveals another, and what brain fog feels like from the inside. I also talk about the frustration of searching for answers, advocating for yourself wit...

Today I'm doing something I don't want to do: nothing. When you live with chronic illness, pain, or disability life can unpredictably erase your entire to-do-list forcing you to invest in tomorrow through rest. Doing less today allows you to do more tomorrow. Listen and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts: Rather listen on Apple Podcasts? https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/recovery...

My disability, chronic pain, and alcoholism doesn't take a day off. Invisible illnesses don’t do that. After staying up late to enjoy the Fourth of July celebration, I was reminded that even good choices can have consequences when you're living with a chronic condition. Sometimes I get tired of living a full time recovery life, but even so, I must accept reality and surrender to it, one da...

"I want help, but let me tell you how to help me." Classic Rachel! Whether I’m relying on my husband, sponsor, doctors, friends and family, or my Higher Power, I am constantly negotiating how others should help me. I become teachable when my self-sufficiency  reaches its limits, and humility and desperation force me to surrender. Only then does my life change in beautiful ways I never co...

What does it mean to rely on God? If you've ever struggled with the idea of faith, wondered how to accept God into your life, or felt like you needed proof before you could believe, you're not alone. In this episode, I explore Step Two of Alcoholics Anonymous: "Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity." I talk about what sanity means, why ope...

I don't become brave before I act. I become brave because I act. Every time I walk toward fear, my brain collects evidence that I can survive it. Confidence is learned. Before a difficult conversation or situation, my mind writes the ending before the story even begins. I rehearse failure, rejection, embarrassment, and loss while my emotions respond as if those imagined outcomes are  real. Und...

For 42 years, I sleepwalked through life. My body was present, but my mind was elsewhere replaying yesterday and worrying about tomorrow. Alcohol was my favorite escape, but there are many ways to leave the present moment, like busyness, tv, books, and social media. In this episode, I discuss what mindfulness actually MEANS to me and the need to pair that with introspection to attain emotional sob...

When life becomes overwhelming, my first instinct used to be escape. Alcohol promised relief, but it only delayed my problems until they returned bigger than before. In this episode, I explore the difference between escaping reality and creating a healthy pause before responding to it. That pause is where wisdom grows. Using the image of a pressure cooker, I share why emotional pressure needs a re...

For me, alcohol guarantees pain, slow physical suicide, and immediate emotional collapse. Bad things didn't happen every time I drank, but every time something bad happened, I was drinking. Every heartbreaking relapse story reminds me how serious our disease is. I wish I could erase it, go back and stand in between them and that drink, and spare them the suffering that follows. But each of us...

When life becomes overwhelming, my first instinct used to be escape. Alcohol promised relief, but it only delayed my problems until they returned bigger than before. In this episode, I explore the difference between escaping reality and creating a healthy pause before responding to it. That pause is where wisdom grows. Using the image of a pressure cooker, I share why emotional pressure needs a re...

One of the greatest gifts of recovery is the transformation from feeling overwhelmed by life's challenges to becoming someone who can help others through theirs. There was a time when all of my energy was spent simply surviving alcoholism and learning to navigate life after a stroke. Today, recovery has given me the ability to sit with someone in pain and offer hope.  In this episode, I explor...

It's easy to look at someone else's life and think they're happier, healthier, or having more fun. It's easy to romanticize drinking while forgetting the loneliness, fear, and consequences that came with it. It's just as easy to romanticize life before a stroke and focus on what has been lost. In this episode, I explore the danger of not playing the tape forward, the freedom th...

Much of my discomfort comes from fear about the future and that I won't be able to handle it. In recovery sometimes I wish things were different than they are. In both sobriety and stroke recovery, I've discovered that serenity is found by trusting that I have the tools to face whatever comes and accepting life as it is today. In this episode, I explore freedom from fear, freedom from want...

What is the difference between justified and unjustified anger through the lens of emotional sobriety and stroke recovery. Healthy anger alerts us to injustice, boundary violations, and unmet needs. But even justified anger can become resentment when we replay it, nurture it, and allow it to take up permanent residence in our minds. Unjustified anger is fueled by fear, pride, expectations, and the...

When I was in high school, my drama teacher told me I had good timing. That always stayed with me as an incredible compliment. Communication requires good timing, but it also requires good judgment. Unfortunately, that was not something that I flourished at. I don’t have to react to every thought, emotion, or circumstance. It's hard to settle that emotional urgency and wait for clarity and, in...

The phrase "relieve me of the bondage of self" appears in the Third Step Prayer, but what does it really mean? Sometimes our self-centered thinking is rooted in pain, fear, and need for comfort. We become consumed with our worries, our problems, our future, and our need for relief. Alcohol may have been one solution, but self-pity, control, and fear can keep us trapped and block emotiona...

Recovery teaches me acceptance, but sometimes I feel like I’m giving up on me when I accept life as it is. I have to be patient, understanding, and willing to let things go, but sometimes I get exhausted and resentful, feeling like life’s doormat. There’s a difference between accepting reality and abandoning our own needs. Acceptance doesn’t mean I have to like my circumstances, I just get to adap...

Meditation became an unexpected but essential part of my stroke recovery journey. What began as an uncomfortable practice I learned in sobriety became a powerful tool for navigating grief, uncertainty, disability, and acceptance. From learning how to think about nothing to visualizing my brain healing, I’m gaining patience, serenity, resilience, and hope. Whether you're recovering from a strok...

Step Two introduced me to the willingness to believe that change is possible. We are exhausted from trying to manage life on our own and want proof that things will get better before we're willing to trust the process. But Step Two helps us keep an open mind, borrow hope from those who have gone before us, and consider the possibility that a power greater than ourselves can offer us hope. In t...

While many readers know it as a psychological thriller, I experienced it as a powerful story about resilience, emotional abuse, identity, and the courage it takes to reclaim a life that has slowly been slipping away. As a recovering alcoholic and stroke survivor, I found myself relating to the main character's journey in unexpected ways. Her struggle to trust herself, her battle with self-wort...

Step One taught me that I am not in control of people, places, things, symptoms, timelines, or outcomes. Step Two taught me that I don't have to figure everything out by myself. Step Three taught me how to make hundreds of small decisions each day based on the wisdom I've gained about what I can control, what I can't, what I need to let go of, and what action I need to take. In this ep...

We all develop armor. Sometimes it's alcohol, anger, perfectionism, control, people-pleasing, or isolation. At some point, these behaviors may have helped us survive difficult seasons of life. The problem is that what protects us during a crisis can eventually hurt us and keep us from healing when we don’t recognize the danger is gone. Is your armor helping you heal, or has it become your weap...

For years, I wanted immediate relief, certainty, approval, and control. The problem was that every time one want was satisfied, another appeared. I was constantly chasing something just beyond my reach. In this episode, I explore the difference between freedom from want and freedom from fear. Looking back, many of my wants were fears in disguise. I wanted because I was afraid to sit with discomfor...

“It’s never too late to start your day over” is a great tool in recovery. I used to think my happiness depended on my circumstances. If things didn't go my way, I sank into self-pity, resentment, and disappointment. What sobriety has taught me is reinforced in stroke recovery. Happiness is an inside job. I get to choose to focus on what I've lost or participate in the life that's still...

A watercolor artist showed me hundreds of failed paintings behind her success to demonstrate what it means to be self-taught. It can be exhausting to keep hitting brick walls while learning a new skill. It resonated with me because I tried to figure out sobriety by myself, and I repeated the same pattern in stroke recovery. Just as the artist showed hundreds of messy attempts, I experienced years...