Recovery Daily Podcast

We often think about gratitude backward, looking at what we survived, how we escaped, or what could have lost. Recovery teaches me that gratitude is powerful when it moves us forward. Instead of just appreciating life emotionally, we participate in life differently because of that appreciation. I live gratefully through my creativity, fellowship, helping others, caring for my body, and moving forw...

After my stroke, I tried to force myself back into my old life. I minimized my symptoms, ignored my limitations, pushed through pain, and believed that recovery was pretending nothing had changed. The same way I once fought against sobriety, I declared war on myself. In this episode, I talk about what it meant to finally admit complete defeat, not as failure, but as acceptance of reality and my in...

When I got sober, I thought life would never be fun again. Instead, I discovered that alcohol had been stealing my time, creativity, and presence in this life. The joyful discoveries that came after putting down the drink were unexpected. I found that taking action before motivation appears helped me discover joy and creativity. Those same recovery principles became essential after my stroke. Sobr...

This episode is about growing a conscience and learning to ask ourselves: What’s my motivation for that? Inspired by reflections from my recovery, I talk about how addiction, fear, resentment, people-pleasing, and the need for control shaped many of my behaviors as an active alcoholic. Sobriety and emotional recovery have helped me become more self-aware, intentional, and honest about the reasons...

I used the Twelve Steps to travel honestly back through my life, resentments, fears, shame, grief, and painful experiences without getting trapped inside them. Instead of trying to numb the past or erase it, the steps help me reflect on it, learn, make peace with it, and move forward armed with wisdom to live differently. Listen and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts and YouTube.  Rather lis...

Nothing has impacted my life more than getting sober. Alcohol helped me cope with my anxiety, grief, fear, and excessive sensitivity. I thought my problems were other people, circumstances, trauma, and work, and the fact that I was just broken. I didn’t understand that drinking was teaching me how to escape rather than learning how to live. I didn’t know there was another way. The 12 steps changed...

After years of resisting the idea that my identity changed after stroke, I sat down and worked through what rebuilding one’s identity means. It’s my relationship with myself, how I believe others see me, what I think my value is, and how I respond to the experiences that shape my life. It’s more than just who I am. I can grieve old versions of myself while still recognizing that the same compassio...

There are moments from my past that can still make my heart race and trigger shame, fear, or panic. While I can’t change what happened, I can change my relationship with it. Through honest conversations, connection, sponsorship, and practicing the steps, I transform how I respond to my past instead of allowing it to remain toxic. My past is part of my story, but it no longer gets to dictate my act...

When someone asks me, “what do you do?” I respond, “I’m medically retired” instead of simply “retired.” This is because stroke recovery, vestibular disorders, chronic pain, disabilities, and even sobriety happened without my permission. If I don’t convey that, the response is “Congratulations!”  There’s an invisible grief when life shifts in a direction you wouldn’t have chosen. It comes with losi...

I never want to forget the depth of defeat, desperation, and demoralization prior to my sobriety. Absolutely the only thing looping in my mind was escaping into a bottle. I lived in that mental space for years, holding my breath, chained to my thoughts, and trying to control something that was uncontrollable. I was reminded this morning that many addicts don’t make it, and that’s why I must keep i...

Have you ever said something and then spent hours replaying it in your head, wondering if you made any sense or said the wrong thing? In today’s episode, I talk about that exact experience and what it revealed to me about fear. The muffled interference that pulls me out of the present and traps me in a loop of overthinking, judgment, and self-doubt is a trap that I fall into easily. Fear is a filt...

In today’s episode, I share how the “tormenting ghosts of yesterday”, the secrets, shame, and thoughts I kept buried followed me everywhere until I finally said them out loud. I truly believed that if I pushed things down far enough, they would disappear, but instead they built up, creating an isolation that fed my illness. Today I talk about the power of Step 5 and what happened the first time I...

Inspired by the concept “ What You Are Is Where You Were When ” by Dr. Morris Massey, it’s incredible to think that when we react to something or someone in our lives today, we are actually reacting to everything that has shaped us up until that very moment that we react. Our early experiences, environments, and relationships form the beliefs, habits, and emotional responses that we carry into our...

I used to carry a heavy, constant sadness, feeling like everything was happening to me and believing I was a vicim of misfortune. I spent so much energy trying to manage things outside of my control, while doing very little with what was actually within it. It felt like clenching my fists around nothing, exhausting myself and fixing nothing. I had an epiphany in a conversation one day, that opened...

Have you ever wanted something so deeply, and you still had to let it go? “ Crying for the moon, but the moon won’t have you” is painful, but it’s not a dead end. There have been an extraordinary number of times in my life when no matter how badly I wanted life to be different, I could not change what was. The death of my high school crush when I was 18, realizing I am an alcoholic, determining I...

At ten years of sobriety, I’m just getting started. I reflected today on how I don’t need to see the whole picture to keep walking forward. In fact, I’m grateful I can’t. It’s the uncertainties that teach me how to let go and trust the process. It’s so hard to see the value and meaning in the hard stuff while you’re living it, but perspective and beauty arrives later.  Listen and subscribe whereve...

Many of us say without even thinking: “It’s okay.” But it’s actually not. In this episode, I share about complex emotions related to choosing your well-being while also feeling the weight of what you’re missing. Through a deeply personal experience, I walk through the coexistence of  gratitude and grief, and the habit many of us have of minimizing our feelings to protect others. I explore how nami...

I voted today! And on another completely unrelated note, self-pity counteracts faith. It’s easy in early sobriety, stroke recovery, and vestibular recovery, to get pulled into that trap of frustration, fatigue, and emotional pain feeling permanent. If I sit in self-pity, it can actually push me backward and reinforce hopelessness. In order to loosen my grip on the illusion of control, I must trust...

It’s easy in stroke and vestibular recovery to compare who we used to be with who we are today, and  that comparison can distort our thinking. Living in “before” erodes appreciation for “now,” despite the trials we are in. The present is where recovery happens, so we are better off to stay present. Fear, fatigue, and frustration are part of the healing process, not signs of failure. I’m not that o...

I decided to major in math in college because I wanted to work at NASA. Needless to say, that big decision didn’t land me there. The small choices I make throughout the day ultimately shape who I become, not the big one we think define us. I spent a lot of years using my free will irresponsibly.  Have you ever said, “I had no choice”? That usually means you reacted out of habit, fear, or impulse....

This morning I was thinking about the relationship between  humility, open-mindedness, and soundness of mind (the definition of sanity.) We learn through our youth to become self-sufficient, but in doing so we often lose opportunities for connection. Getting humble just enough to know I don't have all the answers opens my mind to others and relieves the pressure I put on myself. Have you ever...

In this episode, I share how a message from church and a conversation in my AA meeting landed on the exact same theme: patience. I talk about what it means to trust the process before you fully understand it, especially when life feels like it’s taken a turn you didn’t choose. I reflect on my own stroke recovery and how what once felt like a dead end may actually be a repositioning that I couldn’t...

Am I changing my goals to match my behavior, or changing my behavior to meet my goals? What about when we add chronic pain into the formula?  Through the lens of stroke recovery, I struggle with fatigue, pain, and my desire to grow. I have a hard time telling the difference between honoring my limits and feeling like I’m lazy. If you’ve ever thought, “a m I being lazy or am I truly exhausted, ” yo...

Serenity is directly tied to how I relate to my life as it is, and not as I try to make it. When my expectations don’t match reality, that gap creates frustration and anxiety. For me, serenity comes from accepting what is, even when it’s not how I want it. I don’t lower my expectations for my life, but I do adjust them to consider my chronic pain and disability.  Through sobriety, I’ve learned tha...

Carl Jung, Swiss psychologist , viewed loneliness as being misunderstood. In stroke recovery, I’ve experienced a loneliness that feels like not being fully seen, even when surrounded by people. When others can’t quite hear the effort it takes for me to think through a sentence or find the right words, it creates a subtle disconnection. We all know that connection is dependent on communication, but...