No Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse

We are continuing to revisit and edit our early episodes to clean up the way that they sound What are the issues others believe about survivors and how does that affect us? We worry about what people think and we can be hurt by what people say when they are "ignorant" of what it means to be abused. ⁠No Longer Ashamed⁠ ⁠No Longer Ashamed FB⁠ bolgerkevin15@gmail.com

Nathan Spiteri after he published his memoir " Toy Cars: One man's journey from trauma to triumph" Since then he has done a Ted Talk of his own and there are more projects related to his Ted talk and his memoir being worked on. In the spirit of encouraging all of you to check out his impactful Ted talk and memoir we are re posting our interview with him along with links to the Ted ta...

This has been one of our most popular episodes and we really feel that it is important We like it so much that we decided to go back and clean it up and make it sound better. Why is it so hard to talk about what happened to us? It is shame: the hidden enemy. We can be no longer ashamed of who we are as survivors, it starts with sharing your story and getting help and support! You are not alone. ht...

In this episode Kevin discusses how he has been recognizing that the feeling of loss that used to haunt him is mostly gone. The loss didn't go away but the pain from the loss no longer paralyzes him. What took that pain away and what has replaced it is the topic of our episode. Also the reasons that he used to use his coping methods to further add to the pain in his life and why. ⁠No Longer As...

This is another one of our early episodes that we feel was very important. This is an important episode for survivors and also the family and friends of survivors to help them understand how they can help someone who is a survivor What do you say when someone has shared with you their story of being a survivor? Tips about letting them know that you care about what happens to them. The best thing w...

In this episode we discuss how important it can be to be patient with the process and with yourself. There really are no shortcuts. There are a lot of steps you can take that will help you to get to the place of healing and can help you address your immediate issues. There are medications you can take if you are struggling with depression or PTSD and other treatments that help with the symptoms th...

So after doing this for over 2 years we have learned a lot and now we are returning to some of our earlier episodes and re editing them to clean them up. We feel that these episodes are so important but they could use a little cleaning up to make them sound better. So here is our first episode again but this time we hope that it sounds better. The who what and why of sharing your story Who is it s...

Pastor David Peterson grew up with Essential Tremors, a neurological disorder that caused his arms and hands to tremor uncontrollably Needless to say he was bullied relentlessly, and than at 12 he was targeted by a neighborhood pedophile who abused him As a young man he was not in a good place, for years he was angry, not just with others but also with God Then forgiveness transformed him With his...

Rick Carlson is the founder of Comeback Coaching. He is also a Pastor, a Husband Material coach and Life coach. In this episode he shares about the struggles he has had with trauma from even before he was born. Throughout his life he struggled with being different and feeling unloved. This lead to drug and alcohol addictions and isolation. Until God changed his life. Now he has found his purpose a...

Sharing your story is so important for your healing, keeping it a secret can hold you back from getting the help you need. But is there a right time and a wrong time to share? It can be inappropriate and distressful to others if you "trauma dump" on them just for attention. It's not healthy to use your trauma to cause others who are innocent distress. That is why it is so important t...

What are the dangers of repressed memories? Unresolved trauma can affect us without our awareness and cause us to act unreasonably.  This can be difficult for our family and relations especially if we don't take the time to understand where our feelings are coming from. It is possible to address our issues and emotions even if we can't remember everything that happened to us. As long as we...

In this panel we are discussing grooming with our friends Mike Chapman and Daniel Eichelberger. Grooming is frequently used by abusers to gain the trust of prospective victim and manipulate them.  It's not always the victim that is being groomed but often the family members or caregivers are groomed in order to gain access to the victim. This behavior is becoming more common online where stran...

Julie was sex trafficked, she was not kidnapped, she was living in  her own apartment and working as a preschool teacher in a nice  neighborhood.  She shares her story in a module of the ImOnWatch.org  training.  She shares with us that she was set up for this abuse and  violence because of her childhood sexual abuse.  Like many she didn't  tell anyone.  She shares her story in hopes you will...

Why is personal growth so important to survivors? Many of us were taught to have low self esteem by our perpetrators, blamed for what they did to us.  and told that we could never do anything right that we were the problem. It is through personal growth that we can prove to ourselves that we can do things well, that we can have a purpose. It takes small steps but those lead to bigger things that g...

The Language we use when we describe what happened to us and when we talk about ourselves, is very important. We can be using language that is destructive to our healing without being aware of it. That is why it is so important to pay attention to what we are saying to ourselves and to others and learn from that on how we want to change our voice. ⁠No Longer Ashamed⁠ ⁠No Longer Ashamed FB⁠ bolgerk...

Daniel Eichelberger is the author of the blog " These Ashes, Reflections of hope in the aftermath of male childhood sexual abuse" He tells of his remarkable journey to healing from years of being abused as a child and the reason he is sharing his stories now on his blog. ⁠No Longer Ashamed⁠ ⁠No Longer Ashamed FB⁠ bolgerkevin15@gmail.com

In this episode we discus toxic masculinity with Mike Chapman and Nathan Spiteri How it affects us and why as survivors are we susceptible to its affects We are inundated with displays of toxic masculinity in all of the media, TV, Movies, video games all display unhealthy masculinity. What are the affects of this on our lives and the ones that we care about and how do we counter this? ⁠No Longer A...

The pain from being abused doesn't just go away, but what happens to it? It evolves to become more manageable as you explore your pain. We go through the stages of pain as you uncover the feelings that the pain brings up. This takes being vulnerable to expressing the hurt from the pain. ⁠No Longer Ashamed⁠ ⁠No Longer Ashamed FB⁠ bolgerkevin15@gmail.com

As survivors we often don't realize that our abuse doesn't just affect ourselves. Especially if we don't address our issues and just try to hide what happened to us. There are many ways that the abuse has affects in our relationships that we might not even be aware of. It can hold us back from having healthy relationships with those that we care the most about. ⁠No Longer Ashamed⁠ ⁠No...

Dr. Ron Ramsey is the author of "Forty Days to Forgiveness; a Christians Field Guide to the Forgiveness Journey" He draws on his experiences as an organization development consultant, his knowledge of the behavioral sciences,  and theological studies and his own unforgiveness challenges to lead readers on a forgiveness journey in this book We talk with him about why he wrote this book an...

In this panel we talk about shame, both healthy shame and toxic shame. Former guests Tracy, Stephanie and Ashleigh are joined with a newcomer to the show Kevin's wife Charnell  They all weigh n o.n how shame affects our lives and how to handle shame effectively. ⁠No Longer Ashamed⁠ ⁠No Longer Ashamed FB⁠ bolgerkevin15@gmail.com

Stephanie is a wife, mother, grandmother and recently is letting go of her caretaker rolls in her family She runs a community closet for people who need a hand up! She shares her story of childhood abuse, how it has affected her and how she has come to terms with it. ⁠No Longer Ashamed⁠ ⁠No Longer Ashamed FB⁠ bolgerkevin15@gmail.com

Kendrick contacted us after finding our podcast and was interested in doing an interview, He was abused as a child and went through some difficult periods in his life , He also had some healing times in his life where he felt he was handling his issues with the trauma but when his son turned about the same age as he was when he was abused he was triggered and realized that he still had work to do....

Alan contacted us on the Male Survivor website and offered his encouragement for our work. After corresponding with him and hearing more of his story we asked if he would like to do an interview and he agreed. He has struggled with SSA for years without understanding why. Then a few years ago after hearing a post from a pastor that reminded him of a memory that he had repressed about being abused....

We first interviewed Dan about a year ago and then he joined us on our PTSD panel just recently, During that panel he shared about how much had changed for him since we originally interviewed him, So we thought it would be great to have him on to do a follow up interview to hear about what has been happening with him, And it turns out that there has been a lot that he is very exited about and was...