No Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse

How we define ourselves and how others would define us can be very different. Where our identity comes from matters on how we present our-self. But we might not be aware of how others perceive us because of the way we learned to define ourselves that we are not aware of. Alot of what we can learn about our own values can come from what we consider important in others , how we view what we feel is...

Rage is an important topic that is so hard to talk about Emotions aren't necessarily good or bad but they are information But when you lose control of your emotions , especially anger, then it can be a problem. That is why we are revising this episode of Rage. ⁠No Longer Ashamed⁠ ⁠No Longer Ashamed FB⁠ bolgerkevin15@gmail.com

As survivors we are sometimes more aware of red flags because of our experience What is our responsibility when we see something that makes us uncomfortable This is an issue that can be so important to help prevent abuse So we have revised this episode to make it sound better on all platforms No Longer Ashamed⁠ ⁠No Longer Ashamed FB⁠ bolgerkevin15@gmail.com

Disclosure is an important step but not one to take lightly. and it is not always the means to find closure. In this episode we discuss what to expect from disclosure and the ways to find closure. We have revised this episode to make it sound better on all platforms. ⁠No Longer Ashamed⁠ ⁠No Longer Ashamed FB⁠ bolgerkevin15@gmail.com

For survivors shame seems to be a part of life. It always seems to be present with us. It doesn't have to be that way. There are methods to counter the shame that we feel so we handle our shame in a healthier way. So we are not controlled by our shame or identified with it. Instead we can learn to control how we address our shame. ⁠No Longer Ashamed⁠ ⁠No Longer Ashamed FB⁠ bolgerkevin15@gmail....

This can be a very divisive topic for survivors. One of the ways that our mind protects us when we experience trauma is to repress the experience. This is helpful to us at the time of trauma but even though the memory is hidden the trauma still affects us. If you have symptoms of trauma without any explanation for these symptoms it can be because the memories have been repressed. Sometimes these m...

It is so important to be aware of coercive control when it is happening in our lives. Coercive control can really affect us if we allow it, so it is important to know how to understand it. ⁠No Longer Ashamed⁠ ⁠No Longer Ashamed FB⁠ bolgerkevin15@gmail.com

There are so many reasons why it can take so long to tell our story for the first time. The fear of what can happen when we tell is overwhelming sometimes. But that fear doesn't go away the more that we wait. It doesn't get any easier by waiting . Instead what happens when we think that is easier to just cope with it, the ways that we cope with it finally causes us to come to where we hit...

Barbara Lane is one of 11 siblings who were abandoned by their Mother when she was three years old. After she was sent to a Catholic orphanage she and her sister were adopted into a mafia mob family where they endured years of abuse. 43 years later she not only found healing from the abuse, but she was reunited with her sisters. She wrote a book about her remarkable story called "Broken Water...

This is our recap of the first year of the podcast and what a year it was! It was the Covid lockdown and even though it seemed that everything came to a screeching halt we were both working full time and on top of that we started this podcast to reach out to other survivors of CSA. To our delight we had several guests who shared their stories on our show and we learned so much from these brave sur...

Dan Hartley and his wife Janell are the founders of Magezi Ministries in South Africa They minister to men and women to form healthier relationships and to break free from their bondage from addictions to pornography Dan talks about his own freedom from addiction to pornography and how his healing journey led him and his wife to form Magezi Ministries to help those struggling to overcome their add...

Jerry Lin is the Master of Letting go! If you are feeling stuck, can't move forward and you can't seem to find joy in your life, Jerry helps you navigate through letting go in order to get to the life that you want! ⁠No Longer Ashamed⁠ ⁠No Longer Ashamed FB⁠ bolgerkevin15@gmail.com

It is so hard to be vulnerable especially for men. But vulnerability is key to our healing and in reality it takes great strength and courage to be vulnerable. By being vulnerable we allow ourselves to open up to the feelings that we are so afraid of. We have to access those feelings to get through them and find out that we don't have to be controlled by them. By being vulnerable we become str...

Defeat can be overwhelming. If we allow it defeat can consume us. Defeat is often a part of our life but it doesn't have to be permanen.t We can learn from our defeats and move beyond them rather than let them define us' How we handle our defeat will determine if we are able to grow from it. ⁠No Longer Ashamed⁠ ⁠No Longer Ashamed FB⁠ bolgerkevin15@gmail.com

We are still in the process of revising our early episodes in order to make them compatible with all devices, so if you haven't listened to this one for a while now you can hear our new revised version! Your story matters! Your story is important not only to yourself but for others who are afraid to tell their stories and need to realize that they are not alone. It is important to be your own advo...

As survivors we can be prone to resentment. It can feel as if we didn't get a fair deal and everyone else has it easier than us. Holding on to resentment can be so damaging to our health, both physically and mentally. It can prevent us from realizing the blessings that we have and celebrating them. Resentment is the opposite of gratitude and also has the opposite effect on our lives. It is imp...

Now that we have been doing our podcast for over three years we have learned so much about telling your story. The main thing that we have learned is how important it is for a survivor to tell their story and when and where to tell your story. We have also learned how important it is for other survivors to hear your story because it can help them find the courage to tell theirs. It can be very dif...

Dana Morgan Murphy is the author of " Ballerina in the Box: One woman's triumphant journey from generational bondage to a freedom-filled future" We talk with her about her triumph over the bondage of fear and abuse and how her journey has inspired her family in their healing ⁠No Longer Ashamed⁠ ⁠No Longer Ashamed FB⁠ bolgerkevin15@gmail.com

Happy New Year! To start this year we are discussing Family Dynamics and why this can be such a difficult issue for survivors. Whether the perpetrator is a family member or not, once you share with your family members about what happened to you there is likely going to be a shift in your family dynamics. This can be especially difficult during holidays when there are often gatherings and the expec...

We continue to revisit our early episodes and improve the acoustics so that they sound better on every format. Why are we so much harder on ourselves than anyone else? We hold ourselves to such a high standard that it's hard to ever give us a break, We give others so much more grace than we allow ourselves we are our own worst critics, This is so unhealthy when we are trying to heal we need to...

Why does judgement come so easy to us as survivors and why is it so difficult to give ourselves compassion? The answers often come when we examine the way that we talk about and think about ourselves and where those thoughts originated. We were likely taught to be very judgemental about ourselves and we perpetuate those lessons without even thinking about it. It can change when we look at the way...

We have improved the audio of our episode 17 Walls or masks about the walls that we put up and the masks that we hide behind Some people call them walls and some call them masks. However we choose to call them the important thing is why do we hide behind How do we take them down to show the person hiding behind them? ⁠No Longer Ashamed⁠ ⁠No Longer Ashamed FB⁠ bolgerkevin15@gmail.com

We are returning to our early episodes and revising them to improve the audio on them to make them play better on all devices since these episodes were so important. Sorrow can be overwhelming and it can also be healing Going through sorrow can help you realize that you are worth taking care of yourself you do matter The grieving process is so important for survivors to get through so they can hav...

Vulnerability is so important for our healing but for survivors it can be so hard to be vulnerable because we are afraid of being hurt again. Especially for men it can be hard because we are taught not to be vulnerable, that being vulnerable is a sign of weakness. But it takes great courage to be vulnerable and it is a way of investing in our healing by showing that we do deserve to heal and our f...

What are those habits we have that are self destructive? How do we recognize them and why are they so hard to change? Sometimes are self destructive habits are easy to identify but some times it's easier to spot someone else's than our own. We learned these behaviors for a reason but in order to change them we have to recognize them and recognize where they come from. ⁠No Longer Ashamed⁠ ⁠...