Dear Men: How to Rock Sex, Dating, and Relationships With Women

Is it painful for you when you feel that your woman is closed? Do you long for more ways to help her open up fully ? (Not just sexually, but that is included!) Most dating and relationship advice doesn't include the concept of polarity and the three stages of relationship, but it can be nothing less than magical when worked with properly. According to polarity work (originated primarily by Dav...

Ever been with a woman partner who was emotionally volatile? Ever felt like you were walking on eggshells, or that no matter what you did it wasn't enough and she was always disappointed in you? If so, she may have had Borderline Personality Disorder ... or at least traits of it. More people are diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) than schizophrenia and bipolar combined, yet f...

Are you gettin' out onto the dating scene in 2025? Whether you're newly single, a refugee from the world of pickup, recently divorced, or you've been dating for a while now, there are a few myths we see as obsolete that we wanted to bust. Sex, dating, and relationships can be confusing territory, and there are a lot of dos and don'ts when it comes to dating in the modern world. Thi...

There's a certain quality in men that a lot of women long for -- and I mean long for it from the depths of their beings -- but often don't talk about. Why don't they? Because a lot of women (myself included) hold a certain amount of shame around wanting it in the first place. And what is the quality? It's an aspect of healthy masculinity that we don't often discuss, but we'...

Ever felt intimidated when your woman was upset (about something that involved you)? Ever gotten defensive, stonewalled, or made her wrong -- "that's not what I meant, so you shouldn't feel that way"? You're not alone! And there's a high cost; this can be exhausting for you. Whether you're just dating or married, if you're at the mercy of her feelings, you likely fe...

When it comes to love relationships, whether you're dating or in a committed, long-term relationship, there's one place where you need to be skillful or it will all just fall apart. It might not happen right away; you might get through the honeymoon period or even get married and it might be fine. But little by little, if this skill isn't developed and you as a couple can't "ge...

We've worked with a lot of men who fit into the category of Nice Guys (a la Dr. Robert Glover's famous book, No More Mr. Nice Guy). And we've witnessed tremendous grown, the breaking of old patterns and habits, and astounding progress in these men. Here, we discuss the top 3 things we've seen Nice Guys do to get to get what they want -- and how to transform in ways that are lasting...

Almost every single woman in a relationship (dating or married) needs reassurance sometimes. Unfortunately, many men don't know how to provide it in a way that really lands for her, which often causes unnecessary strife and disconnection. In one man's words, "I used to be the classic male 'fixer' and thought I would be the one to save the day by giving out suggestions of how sh...

According to my sex research, women's number one sex problem is physical pain. The truth is, it's painful when sex hurts -- for both people. Not just for the person experiencing it, but for their partner. How do you handle it if she has pain during sex, whether you're just starting out in dating or you're in a committed relationship? And how do you handle your own emotional pain or...

Ever felt like there was a "right" answer to a question a woman asked you, or a "right" way to respond to a situation with her? Did it feel like if you did the "wrong" thing, there would be consequences? Then you've likely been tested! Testing (also known as "feminine testing" -- or sometimes a term I personally dislike -- "shit testing" -- can be a conf...

Ever feel like you're being deliberately provoked by your woman? Or that she sometimes pushes and pushes until she gets a rise out of you -- often about what seem like tiny things? This pattern can be confusing until you understand the deeper reasons for it. And it's quite a common in dating and relationships, though we don't often discuss it explicitly. Related to polarity, the way Ja...

Ever gotten the sense that a woman is sizing you up ... deciding whether you match up with a list she has in her head around her ideal partner? You might be right. Whether you're online dating, speed dating, or meeting someone in real life, a lot of women do have a list, and it can be confusing or even frustrating when you interface with it. Here, we discuss the nuances of "the list" -...

What does it actually mean to be needy? We use the term a lot, and sometimes in less-than-kind ways -- both in terms of describing others as well as ourselves. Having needs is a universal experiences. Humans, animals, plants, and every living thing has certain needs. Human beings need food, water, and sleep on a biological level -- and we also need love, respect, and a sense of belonging. If we do...

Do you ever feel ashamed of your porn use, or wish you could stop or cut down? Ever had trouble getting it up and wondered if that's connected to porn use? Ever compared dating partners to women you see in porn, and wondered if that was negatively impacting your sex or love life? Over 10% of men are addicted to porn, according to a 2019 study in the Journal of Behavioral Addictions . (As of 20...

If you've ever felt anxious around a woman you were attracted to, gone rigid when you tried to flirt, or completely shut down during a fight with your partner, you know what it is to go into freeze. When we're overwhelmed, we can lock up. This is inconvenient if what you really want to do in that moment is to move, get someone's number, or speak up for yourself during a moment of tensi...

Ever wondered what different women say when they get really real about their last relationship?  How about why they do growth work — and what it looks like for them? Here, I take you behind the curtain to give you a peek at exactly that. This is an amalgam episode with responses from over over ten women who answered three questions: What’s the biggest thing you learned in your last relationship? W...

If you love having sex with women and want to be known as a great lover, being good at going down is an important part of your repertoire. ;) But it’s not easy to talk about this with anyone, so here we’re laying it bare. Four of us ladies share openly about what really works for us in oral sex -- what we desire, long for, and what holds us back in terms of receiving deep pleasure. Whether you&#39...

When your partner gets anxious or upset, do you feel like it's your fault or that you have to fix it immediately? How able are you to stay grounded and feel your own self, even amidst her storm/upset? Ever found yourself doing anything to calm her down -- because your sense of being OK was contingent upon her feeling OK? (We find this common in the men with whom we work. Here, we talk about ho...

"For so long I felt like, ‘this is only happening in my marriage.’" If you've ever experienced something dark, difficult, or deeply challenging in your love relationship, *and didn't feel like you could talk about it with others,* you'll relate to this episode. Few topics bring up wounds as deep as betrayal. Whether you've experienced a partner cheating (physically or emoti...

What are you most ashamed of? Is it your sexuality -- how much you want and need sex, or your deep-down cravings that you fear others would judge if they knew about? Is it your yearning for love, your desire to be held or seen or known in some fundamental way? Many of the biggest breakthroughs we've witnessed in clients have come when they've headed directly into shame, been witnessed with...

Ever experienced porn addiction (and had that affect your love relationship), contended with erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation, or been worried about what your cock looks like? Then you'll feel right at home with this episode. Here, several men in our community share their unvarnished truth with their own voices. They forthrightly and vulnerably answer 3 questions: What's a maj...

Do you wish your woman was more open to sex? Not just intercourse, but the fun of the whole sex thing -- kissing, making out, foreplay, getting hot and heavy, doing the dirty. Ever longed for more from your wife/girlfriend/partner when it comes to sexuality -- and not just "from her" but with her? Ever wished she had more fun when it came to sex, that she enjoyed it more, was more expresse...

Ever been around a woman who was closed down, shut off, or emotionally unavailable? Ever felt like your partner wanted to say something but was holding back, and if you'd somehow shown up in a different way, maybe she'd have let you in? Perhaps you've felt some version of, "I can’t handle that anger right now so I need to remove that anger from her." Or if your partner is upset...

"When I was at my worst, I didn’t know there was a way out." Sometimes in life we get stuck. We don't know how to deal with big feelings, so we self-medicate -- with alcohol, or porn, or weed, or food. But often the self-medication gets in the way of things we really want -- love; intimacy; healthy, connected sex; joy. You may think of 12-step programs as solely for alcoholics, but the...

Has your woman ever been in her masculine, and you wished she was in her feminine? Here's something that doesn't work: "Hey, could you drop into your feminine already?" ;) So how  do  you polarize your woman well? Polarity is one of those mysteries in life like electricity: We don't fully grasp why it works, but we can harness its power to make our lives better. I love polarity...