Dear Men: How to Rock Sex, Dating, and Relationships With Women

“Every one of us walking onto that property was nervous.” So says one man on this episode, describing his experiencing attending his first in-person men's retreat. If you've ever felt intimidated or unsure about doing in-person work with other men, you're far from alone. In the words of one man on this panel, “There’s a shared understanding of the brutality between men.” But it doesn&#...

Have you ever felt trapped in a relationship, or like you knew something was off but didn't know what to do about it? Maybe you've had a vague awareness that you're somehow suffering (and so is she), but again, you didn't know how to even start to go about addressing it. A lot of people know the term "codependence" but aren't clear on what it actually means in a concret...

Did you have healthy boundaries modeled for you when you were growing up? Do you feel like you know how to set healthy boundaries with your folks? If not, then some of these things may apply: You felt like (or continue to feel like) you need to take care of your mom or dad You don't really feel free to live your life as you'd like because you know this might "hurt" one or both of y...

When Jason was in his mid-20s, he was stuck. He numbed out with porn much of the time, had never had sex, and struggled with dating and love relationship. Even outside of dating, it felt like something was missing in his life ... like he just wasn't completely alive . He knew he wanted something different, but didn't know how to get there. Then he attended one of his first personal growth...

Have you got a history of partnering with women who are physically or emotionally unstable? Maybe they've got an insecure living situation (or chaotic/dangerous ex-partner). Perhaps they're financially challenged, or they've got serious issues with depression, anxiety, or other mental health issues. You may even have been with a partner who became so emotionally dependent on you that y...

Have you ever wished you could scientifically determine what’s wrong in your relationship?  Or felt it would be helpful to somehow mathematically see how compatible you are with someone you’re dating?  Or gone through a difficult period with a relationship partner and wished you could understand one another better?  There’s a love tool that may be able to help.  Zoey Charif went from getting a deg...

What does it mean to be a good parent? If part of your job is to provide stability, then it can seem like even if your love relationship isn't fulfilling, it's best to grit your teeth and get through it -- at least until the kids are out of the house. The truth is a lot more nuanced. Consider the following, for example: What are you role-modeling to your children if you stay in a relations...

Have you experienced any of the following yourself, or been in a love relationship with a partner who did? You've held beliefs like, "I must be broken," or, "The world is completely dangerous." You constantly tested your partner's loyalty You've thought things like, "I'm too much and my needs are too much." You've played out patterns to the effect of: &#...

We all know the "rules" have changed when it comes to dating and relationships. There are few absolute in terms of how to relate to a dating or relationship partner, which begs questions like: If not money, then what IS the modern man supposed to provide? If you're a man, it may be hard to grasp what a woman truly craves from you. There's good news on this front, though: We women s...

Have you ever doubted? Whether you've doubted yourself, the existence of a higher power, the efficacy of "alternative" healing techniques, or anything that goes against the mainstream -- this has likely come up for you at some point. When Naushad was young, he came very close to being a pro soccer player. But physical injury after injury stymied him, and set him on a path of healing th...

Are you concerned about your lack of experience, whether that's sexually, in a dating context, or time in long-term relationships? Maybe you feel behind in some way, and hesitant or fearful about telling a woman about your level of experience. As Jason says, "For men in particular, it means something about you if you haven’t had sex." If it took you a while to start dating, have sex, o...

Want to be even sexier to women than you are now? ;) Learn to strike while the iron is hot! Seriously though -- striking while the iron is hot makes you a man who can generate polarity, build trust, and have women want to surrender to you. Knowing how and when to take action is very sexy ... and passivity, not so much. And all of these principles apply whether you're in a dating relationship o...

Have you ever just felt STUCK? Stuck in your dating life, stuck in your marriage, stuck in your sex life (or stuck in your sex life within your marriage)? As one man on our panel put it, "I felt stuck for most of the 20 years of my marriage." Maybe you've felt trapped -- like you just couldn't work your way out of wherever you were. Here, four men get real about their journey going...

When I ask my male friends, "Do you trust men?" most of them say, pretty unequivocally, "No." Why does this matter? A lot of our clients come to us because they want to improve their dynamics with women. Whether they're single and dating or partnered and seeking more sex, intimacy, closeness, or harmony with their woman, there's a lot of focus on women. So what does a man&#...

Want to generate sexual heat, and also inspire safety and a sense of belonging in your partner? Learn how to claim her! We've talked about claiming before on the podcast, especially with respect to building polarity. When a man is on the more passive side, it can feel lackluster and also confusing. As one woman put it, "Do you even want me?" This throws off polarity. When he knows how...

When Wayne Forrest was 25 years old, he was a strong, rugby-playing farmer who was married with two twin babies. Then he had an accident on the rugby field and broke his neck. A doctor said he would never walk again. His wife wouldn't touch him anymore. And he thought, "How the hell am I going to survive this?" What follows is his story, which touches on everything from love, sex, and...

What does it mean to be a good husband? Many men we work with were trained to take care of everyone else before themselves. They often feel burnt out, and like they don't get nearly as much back as they give. If you've ever felt like you've tried everything you can to make your woman happy, but this only results in both of you being miserable ... you might be able to relate. Or perhaps...

If you've ever been with an emotionally volatile partner or perhaps suspected that you yourself might be emotionally volatile, you hopefully already know about Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). (And if you haven't, we have lots of episodes on the subject!) Here, we talk to a therapist whose clientele is largely comprised of those contending with BPD. What's it like to be a therapi...

Ever wanted to be a fly on the wall while women talked about their dating stories? Ever wondered what the men who have women feel both safe and turned on have in common? Here, four of us women discuss a specific skill that men have shown that has us feel taken care of and turned on. It boosts polarity like crazy, and it's relevant whether or not you're dating casually or you're in a co...

Does a part of you ever feel like just giving up? It's too much, it's too heavy, it's too complicated, it's too hard. Or has it ever felt like, "What's the point?" The truth is, we all have points in our lives when we feel overwhelmed. This can also show up in the, "Here I am again… I’m in the SAME SPOT. I always circle back to this.'" If you're single,...

Ever feel like you need to be tough in order to be seen as "masculine" enough? Ever feel like you wish you could just let your guard down and be taken care of? The truth is, it is a deep human need to be nurtured in relationship. It's neither masculine nor feminine, and we need to expand our awareness of and perception of love, relationship, and what it means to be taken care of, wheth...

"Porn was the #1 relationship I had in terms of intimacy." So says Jason on his experience of sex, love, and closeness in his 20s. (Fortunately, after engaging in personal growth, including men's work, he's now married to a radiant goddess!) If you've ever struggled with your relationship to porn -- and if that has also impacted your relationship to sex and sexuality, you'r...

Most of us, on our growth journeys, become aware that we need to heal from some kind of trauma. We also often discover that we need more than talk therapy. Altered states have been used since time immemorial to help us on our healing paths, and can be particularly helpful in trauma healing. And while plant medicine (ayahuasca, psilocybin (magic mushrooms), MDMA, psychedelics like wachuma/peyote) c...

A common pattern in a lot of love relationships sounds like one partner (often a man, in a man/woman dynamic) saying things like: "I wish you weren’t so busy with the kids." "You never dress up for me anymore." "I wish you'd flirt with me more." "You hide yourself from me; I never really see your body anymore." "I wish we had more sex." --- What's dr...

Have you ever felt unworthy, less than, or "deeply ugly and stupid," as my guest this week put it? The fact is, we need all the support we can get. We need it from our fellow humans, and we need it from something greater. The word "God" can be very triggering -- for those who experienced religious trauma growing up (which, let's face it, is literally billions of people), it can...