Dear Men: How to Rock Sex, Dating, and Relationships With Women

Do any of these apply to you?: You used to have a good sex life with your partner, but now it has flatlined You're in a sexless marriage but at a loss with respect to how to even bring this up with your woman (or you've tried in the past and it went poorly) You fear never having passionate, connected sex again --- These are all common patterns we see in our practice. Here we outline the 5...

We've got close to 400 episodes, and with the new year, I felt inspired to categorize Dear Men in order to help you get the most out of it! I've broken it down into six buckets, then listed episodes in an order I believe would be supportive to listen to: 1. Do you identify as a Nice Guy? If you already know about Nice Guy Syndrome (perhaps you've even read No More Mr. Nice Guy by Dr. R...

Have you ever been in a relationship where it felt like the spark had died? There's no chemistry but you're going through the motions, wishing there was more heat, more aliveness, more oomph. If so, you might have been bumping up against the principle of polarity. --- Work with us Ready to go deeper than the podcast and take action? Jason and I can help you break old patterns and transform...

“I become a bit of a depresso-goblin when I live alone.” So shares one of my housemates -- an eloquent interpretation, perhaps, of the loneliness episode we're living through, according to the US Surgeon General. We all know that loneliness sucks. Among other things, it elevates risk of heart disease, stroke, dementia, depression, and anxiety (among other health concerns). So what do we do abo...

How do you know if you're addicted to porn? Instead of addiction language, some mental health specialists use the term Problematic Porn Use to discuss this. The heart of it is the same, however: How do I stop watching porn? (and why is it so freakin' hard to stop using porn??) Here we delve into the topic, but not from a shame-based point of view. Instead we look at the underlying needs th...

ATTRIBUTION NOTE: This is NOT an original episode. This is a complete episode of The Ezra Klein Show that I'm posting here, with a note from me at the beginning. Original episode can be found here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/what-relationships-would-you-want-if-you-believed-they/id1548604447?i=1000644331040 What follows is my own reasons for posting this: --- We are at a crossroads...

Why do you need to know about this? --- Work with us Ready to go deeper than the podcast and take action? Jason and I can help you break old patterns and transform your sex & love life for good. To see if you're a fit for our flagship program, Pillars of Presence, book a call  here . Start anytime. (https://evolutionary.men/apply/) --- Memorable quotes: “It’s a journey of healing; it’s a j...

Have you ever felt stuck in a love relationship that wasn't working? Maybe you were straining and striving to make it work. Maybe you felt like it was all on your shoulders -- all your responsibility to "fix" it. Or maybe you were afraid of what would happen if it went away. Would she make it? Would you? There are concrete reasons why it's hard for men in particular to let go of ro...

How many hundreds of miles would you travel for great sex? Some of the hottest sexual experiences are some of the least-expected. Sometimes that has to do with location, and sometimes it has to do with ropes and corsets. Often it involves anticipation, and it's frequently NOT about what you think (i.e. perfect "performance"). Here, four of us women friends bring you behind the curtain...

Most men we work with long to be trusted. They yearn to satisfy their partners on every level: physically, emotionally, and sexually. Above all, they want their woman partners to feel safe with them . The fact is, those two things are inextricably linked: If you want a woman to feel safe with you, she needs to trust you. Yet we still live in a world where a lot of women feel unsafe with a lot of m...

When you've got kids with someone, you need to be able to cooperate. But what do you do if your ex is emotionally unstable/volatile, physically or emotionally abusive, or otherwise difficult? Most partners don't start out that way, of course. As one man put it, it felt more like "the ground could be kind of unstable" in the relationship. Another said, "I was hyper-aware of her...

Some experts estimate that ~15% of marriages are sexless, while others put the number as high as 33% ("sexless relationship" defined as a couple having sex 10 times a year or fewer). That's a lot of people. Now let's talk about the stakes: Does a sexless marriage generally mean a less fulfilling one? In a word, yes. According to researcher and associate professor Denis Donnelly in...

In North America, we tend to think of circumcision as "normal" and "widespread." But did you know that circumcision as a practice only became widespread in the US in the mid 1900s? So what's the deal? Why did it originate as a practice and why has it persisted? And perhaps most importantly, what is the impact on a man -- both physiologically as well as psychologically? The answ...

Overcoming erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, delayed ejaculation, and other forms of sexual dysfunction in men is complex. This is part II of a two-part series. --- Work with us Ready to go deeper than the podcast and take action? Jason and I can help you break old patterns and transform your sex & love life for good. To see if you're a fit for our flagship program, Pillars of P...

Did you know that premature ejaculation is the most common form of sexual dysfunction on the planet ? In a similar vein, experts estimate that erectile dysfunction impacts a staggering 30-50 million men in the U.S. alone. And some studies suggest that 1 in 10 men experiences delayed ejaculation. The truth is, sexual dysfunction affects millions and millions of men, but the experience is often one...

Welcome to Cocktober! We're spending this whole month on a plethora of penis things. As a sex researcher, I can tell you that when it comes to men's top sex problems, a common and unrelenting theme is around erections: getting them, keeping them, and being able to savor or "complete" them. This past spring and summer I interviewed ten men about their experiences with erectile dysfu...

"Polarity" is a term we throw around a lot on this podcast, and a concept that has gained popularity in discussions on masculinity, femininity, sacred sexuality, and conscious relationship over the last few decades. Here we delve into what it actually means ... and how it connect to hot sexy sex. ;) Seriously, though, polarity is a big part of how to generate attraction regardless of what...

According to Gallup News, nearly 48 million people in the US alone struggle with depression, which is a staggering ~18% of the population. In fact, depression is the leading cause of disability in the country. And the US isn't the only place affected -- rates of depression, anxiety, PTSD, OCD, ADHD, and more are rising globally, especially post-pandemic. We need new, innovative, and effective...

When things are bad, are you good at asking for support? More than once, we've had clients disappear for a bit, and upon reappearing say things like, "Sorry, I just had one of the worst weeks of my life last week." And we wonder: Why, during some of your darker times, are you not reaching out for love? Here we break down the reasons why this pattern exists. Why is it so hard for men in...

"I'm afraid that if I don't do what she wants, she'll leave ... and then I'll be alone." The truth is, almost all human beings have a visceral, primal fear of being alone. We are social animals, and our survival has depended on inter-connectivity since time immemorial. We fear and are stressed by isolation, separation, and loneliness. It is also true that this fear of being...

Worldwide, 150 million women get urinary tract infections (UTIs) yearly, and 30-44% of them get recurrent UTIs (defined as 2+ infections in 6 months, or 3+ in a year.) I was one of those women. UTIs are so prevalent that they are the second-most common reason for antibiotic prescriptions on the planet . And in case you've never had one, rest assured that UTIs are painful, disruptive, and deepl...

“I knew it was something I wanted to be in because I thought it’d get me chicks.” So begins Jason in describing his journey around learning to be "in his masculine" and "in his feminine." These are terms related to polarity that get thrown around a lot, and we wanted to break down what we're referring to in more depth. What does it mean to be dominating versus assertive? Is it...

How connected do you feel to your heart? How about to your cock? One of the advantages we have as coaches for men is that we seen the patterns that frequently show up for different men. We've noted three specific archetypes in our work and here, we go over them. (If you've ever heard me reference the heart/cock matrix, that's part of this episode.) Why does this matter? In large part b...

A whole bunch of our clients have related with either parents or partners with BPD (or BPD traits). Here we go into even more depth around the origins of BPD, and what you can do as a partner if this is something you're contending with. We answer questions like: When you “cross” someone with BPD, they often want to punish you / make you suffer. Why? Why are folks with BPD traits so sensitive t...

If you've ever been scared of approaching a woman because you might make her uncomfortable; frightened about what a woman might ask of you; or worried about "getting in trouble" with your women partner, I have news for you: You're a normal man. That said, there are also some underlying patterns that may need addressing, particularly if this is a recurring pattern that's prevent...