Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma Healing

These terms have been used to describe someone who is struggling with any addictive behavior and who becomes sober from that particular destructive addiction, and becomes addicted to another less destructive behavior. However, the root issue behind the addiction is yet to be resolved. We are describing this a compulsive sexual behavior transfer. So many of our clients will see their partner become...

Acceptance is a critical and difficult part of the healing process. Many people get stuck in acceptance, thinking that by accepting their reality it means they approve of their situation. Join Amie Woolsey this week as she shares the difference between acceptance and approval, and gives examples of what acceptance looks like. Tune in to learn: How acceptance is like teaching someone to drive. The...

Have you lost your voice? Do you believe that what you think and feel matters? It may be surprising to really think about your answers to those questions. In this episode, Amie and Alana discuss the importance of honoring your voice, honoring yourself, and honoring your needs to reclaim your voice. This episode covers topics like: How did your voice become minimized? Are you able to recognize your...

How can you start to trust yourself again after betrayal? Being betrayed by a partner is traumatizing physiologically, emotionally, and mentally. This can leave trauma on your body even long after the betrayal has occurred. When you’ve had this kind of blow in your life, it affects your sense of self, sense of safety, and self identity. This makes trusting yourself difficult.  This is a very natur...

Today Amie and Alana talk about trust using the work of Brené Brown, and American professor, who created specific elements of trust by using the acronym BRAVING. Because it's BRAVE to trust, especially after betrayal. When you are trying to watch your partner's feet move back up the ladder of trust, it can be confusing to know what you are even watching for! So they break down these tools...

.What would you guess is the #1 thing people want help with when they go to see a therapist or a coach? Here’s a hint…whether you’re dealing with betrayal, trauma, or just simple disruptions in a relationship growing apart, all these roads lead to a need for better communication.  We are hard-wired for connection, and a core part of connection is communication. Join Alana on this episode for the f...

🎙️ We’re closing out the last episode of a 3-part series on the topic of adult children of sex addicts featuring Dr. Kenneth M. Adams Ph. D., CSAT-S, and author of the new book, A Light in the Dark: The Hidden Legacy of Adult Children of Sex Addicts. This week, we respond to listener questions such as: “Do I need to hide my pain from my kids?” “When is it too late to repair your relationship with...

Join the conversation today as Amie and Alana interview Dr. Kenneth M Adams, Ph. D., CSAT-S and author of the new book, Alight in the dark, The hidden legacy of adult children of sex addicts co authored with Mary E Meyer, Ph. D., LMFT, and Culle L Vande Garde, LCSW where they detail the unique issues experienced by adult children who grew up with a sexually addicted parent.  We are thrilled t...

Join Amie and Alana today as the first part of a three part series around adult children of sex addicts. Todays episode preambles the much anticipated interview with Dr. Kenneth M Adams Ph. D., CSAT-S and author of the new book,  A light in the dark, The hidden legacy of adult children of sex addicts co authored with  Mary E. Meyer, Ph. D., LMFT, and Culle L. Vande Garde, LCSW ...

Do you feel fear, shame, insecurity, or pressure when you think about your sexuality? Join Amie and Alana as they help you consider if you’re ready to lean back into your sexuality after betrayal, and why it’s okay to embrace your sexuality. Tune into the episode to think about: Embedded beliefs you may have around sexuality Four elements that build intimacy Small ways to become more aware of your...

Valentine’s Day is meant to be a day for celebrating romance, but for those who have experienced betrayal, this day can serve as a reminder of what you’ve lost. We want to hold space today for the triggers, the pain, and the hard you may be feeling around this holiday. Whether you’re in a relationship, divorced, or single, you may find yourself grieving the expectations that were never realized in...

Have you seen yourself swing from a submissive role to a strong, independent perspective as you've begun the work of healing from betrayal trauma? Maybe you've found yourself feeling stuck and a little confused as you've tried to find the right balance of independence and interdependence?  Think through some of these questions with Amie and Alana on this week's episode: Do you have to give up...

Join us this week as we tackle the topic of letting the old relationship die after infidelity, betrayal, cheating, or compulsive acting out. We have with us Luke Gordon, men's mental health coach. Together we dive into why its recommended to let the old relationship die, what the looks like in real life, and how to move forward as a couple.  New Courses: Transforming Your Triggers -  A 6...

It's a great question. Why are you doing the work right now and being aware of that why, will help you more than you perhaps realize. Today we discuss the fears, the concerns and the rewards of continuing on in the journey of healing for both the betrayed and the betrayer.  Ongoing Courses: Road to Recovery - Join Luke and Alana Gordon, Founders of Choose Recovery Services and Program Directo...

We are thrilled to have joining us in todays conversation Geoff Steurer, MS, LMFT He is one of the leaders in the field of addiction and betrayal, host of the podcast, From Crisis To Connection , Geoff joins our conversation today to discuss an important topic, sexual consent. Most importantly, sexual consent in marriage.  This is a powerful episode for both the betrayed and the betrayer to u...

Relapse, slips, close calls........these are all scary and triggering for the betrayed partner. So how do you prepare for this to happen, what if you don't want to have this happen, and how many times should this happen? All these questions and more are what Alana and Amie discuss in todays conversation.  Ongoing Courses: Road to Recovery - Join Luke and Alana Gordon, Founders of Choose Recov...

Amie and Alana have a very informative and powerful conversation with Jared Rockwell who is not only a polygraph examiner but a LCSW with over 18 years experience. He is nationally recognized leader in his field and offers his expert thoughts today around how a polygraph works, why they are so important to rebuilding trust in a relationship and what they are NOT.  We debunk some common myths...

In todays episode Alana and Amie have a conversation about what it looks like to thrive and step out of victim mentality. When you have been a victim of someone else's choices that created chaos and pain in your life. Sometimes undesirable pain, it's understandable how it feels powerless and overwhelmingly paralyzing. Sometimes the term victim takes on a negative connotation, and so it's a place w...

When you have experienced betrayal, the holidays can trigger a lot of heartache rather than joy and sadness rather than happy. For those of you who are right in the middle of hard we want you to know we are thinking of you and praying for you. We know you do hard things.  Part of the healing journey is reclaiming, rewriting, rediscovering, YOUR holiday and deciding what that will look like, e...

You are not going to want to miss todays conversation!! Ok, you really don’t want to miss any of our conversations, but today it a special one as we have joining us the amazing Tony Overbay. We are talking about narcissism today with Tony and how to grasp the bigger picture in healing and recovery. Learning how to build a higher emotional IQ is often left out in most addiction recovery programs an...

The road to recovery can be a long and difficult road. When you don't know where you are headed and how to get there, it can feel even more daunting. Join Alana, Amie, and their guest, Luke Gordon, for a discussion around healing and what the road to recovery after infidelity, cheating, or sexual addiction can look like. To have a visual of the recovery map, download it here . To schedule a sessio...

It can feel so frustrating to not see change in your partner and in yourself and how will you know if your partner is really changing? Alana and Amie answer another listeners question about this concept today and how to recognize change. This can be tricky to recognize they give you some ideas to consider and get curious about to help you determine for yourself if you are seeing the kind of change...

 Sometimes the holidays can be triggering and it's hard to feel grateful for anything. join Amie in todays episode where she offers some thoughts around how to navigate this holiday while you are also navigating big emotions. Because the truth is, you don't always have to feel grateful AND you can hold space for all emotions.  Ongoing Courses: Am I In An Abusive Relationship? - Free, sel...

In today's episode Amie and Alana talk about needs vs wants in a relationship as they answer a listers question.  This episode is geared specifically towards the betrayed in the relationship.  Ongoing Courses: Am I In An Abusive Relationship? - Free, self-paced workshop to help you identify key red flags that might be showing up in your relationship. Road To Recovery -  Join Luke an...

When you start navigating the healing journey, you learn all kinds of tools and concepts, and you start applying them in hopes that change happens, in hopes that healing happens. But what if you are using ALL the tools and you are still feeling pain? What if you are trying to do all the things professionals say. to do but you are still feeling hurt? Today Amie and Alana discuss the in's and out's...