Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma Healing

Why Relational Recovery? Stephanie shares her personal journey and how it led her to become passionate about relational recovery. The transformation she experienced in her own life after partner betrayal. The importance of helping others experience positive transformations in their lives. The Possibility of Healing Discussing the possibility of healing and recovery in relationships. Highlighting t...

What You'll Learn What is differentiation Why its helpful to learn how to differentiate Why both spouses need to do this work Referenced in this episode: In this podcast episode, Alana reflects on her graduate school experience and provides updates on their podcast. She discusses her initial exposure to Murray Bowen's model of Bowen theory as she delves into her own personal discoveries ab...

Do you find yourself saying, “I’m fine” when you’re not? Join Amie and Alana as they explore why we try to convince ourselves and others that we are okay when we’re actually struggling. Get ready to dig deeper into what your “I’m fine” response is really trying to communicate. Listen to learn: How to get curious when you find yourself saying you’re fine even when you’re not How to recognize “pink...

Do you spend endless hours trying to diagnose your partner and obsessing over their intentions and motivations? In this week's episode, Amie and Alana are giving you permission to stop overanalyzing your partner and to shift the focus back to yourself. You'll walk away feeling empowered, with insight into where to direct your energy during your recovery journey. Tune in to learn: How the c...

Betrayal is painful enough, but what if your partner uses their recovery against you? This week we dive into the complicated dynamics of betrayers weaponizing their healing. Join Amie and Alana as they explore the nuances of weaponizing recovery work including what it is, how to spot it, why it happens, and how you can protect yourself.  *BIG disclaimer with this topic - weaponizing can go both wa...

Join Alana Gordon and Hali Roderick as we talk about the need for men to gain the skill set on how to help their wife heal after betrayal if they want relational healing. If you would like to learn more about the Help Her Heal Course, go to www.chooserecoveryservices.com. Help Her Heal for Men with Hali Roderick ⁠https://www.chooserecoveryservices.com/help-her-heal/⁠ We are starting a new group ca...

“It is time to define betrayal violence.” That is the message that our guest, Hope Ray, wants to offer today. Hope is a Licensed Professional Counselor, Certified Sex Addiction Therapist, and a Certified Hope and Freedom Practitioner. Listen to hear how Hope uses the term “betrayal violence” and how she feels those powerful words give a more thorough definition of the experience of betrayed partne...

Last week we learned about the important role our nervous system plays in regulating our bodies. This week Amie and Alana are here to continue that conversation and to give you practical, tangible things you can do right now to help engage and relax your central nervous system.  Tune in to learn: What bodily discomfort may be telling you. What to remember if the work you’re doing seems NOT to be w...

We are excited to welcome Psychotherapist and Betrayal Navigation Coach, KayLee Dunn, to this week’s episode of Choose to Be. KayLee talks through the brain science behind trauma and will help you better understand your body’s survival responses and how to turn them into your superpower. With relatable personal examples, relevant research, and empathy for your experience, this is a valuable episod...

Many women suffering from betrayal not only emotionally detach from their partners, but they also detach from themselves. In preparation for next week’s episode with Mental Health Therapist, KayLee Dunn, Amie and Alana wanted to give you some ideas to think about, sit with, and journal on around the topic of emotional detachment. Listen to learn how you may be using emotional detachment as a copin...

👮 Do you find yourself policing your partner, feeling the need to repeatedly check their phone, their whereabouts, and their actions? First, this is NORMAL after betrayal, and second, this isn’t a place you want to stay long term. There ARE ways to let go of these habits in a way that will move you from feeling powerless to empowered. Amie and Alana break down the whys of hypervigilance as they e...

Are triggers getting in the way of your ability to recognize your gut feelings? And what’s the difference between the two? After going through trauma, it can become confusing to distinguish between which feelings are legitimate alarm bells and what’s a false alarm. Amie and Alana share real life examples, relatable analogies, and helpful tips to help you get to the bottom of these feelings in this...

There’s no such thing as bad support, right? Wrong! Amie and Alana welcome you to a chat about times you may be getting “support” that isn’t truly supporting your healing journey. Find out what helps and what is holding you back when it comes to getting the support you need in this week’s episode of the Choose to Be Podcast. Tune in to learn: What does healthy and unhealthy support look like? What...

As a trailblazer and thought-leader in the field of gaslighting, Sarah Morales has redefined gaslighting to help reduce the stigmatization, fear, and powerlessness around the term. This week, Sarah joins Amie and Alana to share what gaslighting looks like, what it takes to repair a relationship with gaslighting, and whether or not chronic gaslighters are capable of healing.  Don’t miss this episod...

Have you ever heard the saying, “Grief is a luxury for the brain that feels safe?” This is a quote from Dr. Jake Porter, and it might sound like an oxymoron, but it’s true! Amie and Alana share how grief is a luxury, and how you can’t get there unless you’re feeling safe within yourself, your body, and your emotions.  Tune into this episode to learn: A quick review of the stages of grief How a sep...

Are you navigating parenting a child who struggles with compulsive behaviors? For those who have experienced betrayal trauma, this can bring up a lot of fears, triggers, and concern. Amie and Alana are joined this week by special guest, Marriage and Family Therapist, Jeremy Leavitt, to discuss the exploratory and compulsive behaviors your children may be experiencing, and how you can help. Plus, l...

Join us for part four of the four-part series on therapeutic separations. In this episode, Amie, Alana, and Luke break down the pieces of what the separation can entail to help work towards reunification and reintegration back into the home and relationship. They discuss what things to watch for, markers to know you might be ready, and what to do if your partner isn't doing their part. Is your...

This is part three of a four-part series on therapeutic separations. In this episode, Amie and Alana break down the pieces of a therapeutic agreement for separation. This agreement outlines the terms and conditions agreed upon by the couple as they undergo the separation process. It serves as a framework to establish clear boundaries, expectations, and goals.  Listen to learn the 12 critical quest...

This is part two of a four-part series on therapeutic separations. Last week Amie and Alana covered why you might need a separation and the feelings that come up while making this decision. This week, Luke Gordon joins to discuss how to prepare for a separation, and what to expect emotionally, mentally, and physically. Tune in to learn:  How a marriage separation could benefit your relationship. S...

Considering a separation can feel daunting and intimidating. This episode is the first of a 4-part series on separation. In this episode, Amie and Alana walk you through the basics of what a separation actually is, the 4 types of separations you could consider, the benefits of spending some time apart, and what you need to think about when considering a separation.  Amie and Alana will encourage y...

Are you trying to heal you relationship after its been destroyed by lies, betrayal, infidelity, problematic sexual behaviors, or sexual addiction? Join us for a free Q&A and webinar the last Sunday of every month. Register by going to ChooseRecoveryServices.com Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services • Choose Betrayal Trauma Healing for Women - This weekly support group is for women...

Going through something traumatic can feel like having a rug ripped out from underneath you, leaving you feeling disoriented and confused. It’s natural to lose trust in others and in yourself as you work through processing what has happened to you. In this episode, Alana will help you gain an understanding of how to find yourself again. Alana will share 8 essential steps to finding yourself after...

Have you ever thought about betrayal trauma’s impact on your brain health? After watching her dad lose his life to Dementia last year, Hali Roderick began to gain an interest in the connection between the physical brain and emotional healing. As Hali looked into ways to prevent her physical brain from cognitive decline, she recognized a lot of the signs of brain injury are similar to the symptoms...

As the partner who betrayed works through their recovery, we often see that they start to increase their efforts to help their partner. They may help out more with the kids, take the trash out without being asked, or bring home dinner when their partner is having a hard day.  The betrayed partner may find themselves rejecting these efforts, which causes both partners to become frustrated, angry, a...

When you find out that your partner has been acting out in sexually compulsive ways, it can feel scary and concerning to then leave them alone. Perhaps most of the sexually compulsive behavior was done while you were away, so of course you would feel worried leaving them alone. Join Amie and Alana today as they discuss what you can do when this situation is part of your journey. Finding support al...