Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma Healing

Are you constantly judging your emotions as good or bad? Do you feel guilty for experiencing “negative” feelings? In this episode, Amie dives deep into the tendency we often have of moralizing our emotions. Learn why it’s important to notice and name your feelings, to become aware of when you might be suppressing emotions, and how to embrace all of your emotions with self-compassion. Listen to lea...

Have you ever felt so overwhelmed by the damage caused by your addiction that giving up seemed like the only option? In this episode, Luke Gordon, cofounder and coach at Choose Recovery Services, as well as a father in recovery, opens up about grappling with feelings of hopelessness when facing attachment wounds inflicted on his children because of his addictive behaviors. Amie, Alana, and Luke di...

This week we are excited to welcome Luke Gordon to the podcast! Luke is an emotional health coach and cofounder of Choose Recovery Services who specializes in helping men overcome unwanted sexual compulsive behaviors. Luke shares how disruptions in our earliest childhood attachments form the foundation for later challenges like addiction, unhealthy coping mechanisms, and struggles with emotional i...

When parents have experienced betrayal in their relationship, the entire family system is impacted. Teens and young adults are old enough to sense things are amiss, but may not understand everything that’s happening in their parents’ world.  In today’s episode we are excited to welcome Morgan Ellsworth, a life coach at Choose Recovery Services. She is an APSATS trainee and has training as a DBT Sk...

We know attachment can suffer between partners when there’s been betrayal or trauma, but how are our kids’ attachments impacted? In today’s episode, Amie and Alana unpack how to be a solid anchor for your children during hard times. Learn how to be grounded, regulated, and vulnerable to help your children stay securely attached to you even amidst chaos or crisis. Listen to learn: How doing your ow...

Do you ever feel tangled up in knots trying to understand where your relationship pain stems from? How can you tell if your pain is coming from childhood attachment wounds or current betrayal trauma? This week Amie and Alana help us learn how to unravel old and new attachment knots and walk us through what we can do to feel secure again in our relationships and in trusting ourselves. Listen to lea...

Have you ever felt disconnected, even when your partner is right beside you? In these situations, ask yourself, “A.R.E. you there for me?” Amie and Alana break down the acronym "A.R.E." to give you a tool to help you set the foundation for meaningful bonds, communication and attachment. Learn how to deepen your connection so you can be there for others and for yourself.  Listen to learn:...

Do you crave deep connection but struggle to let partners in? Have you ever accused loved ones of being distant when they simply needed space? These behaviors could stem from your attachment style. Join Amie and Alana as they delve into attachment theory and how our attachment styles formed in childhood become blueprints for our relationships throughout our lives. Listen to learn: What the four st...

Trust is essential in healthy relationships, yet it is shattered by betrayal. Rebuilding that broken trust can feel impossible. In this episode, Alana tackles head-on the messy complexities around trust after betrayal. She offers insight into power imbalances, avoiding the dangerous “floating saint” trap, boundary setting, embracing imperfection, and more. With patience, help, and healing, you can...

If you’ve experienced betrayal in a relationship then you know what it’s like to feel rejected by your partner. But are you aware of ways you may be rejecting YOURSELF? In this episode, Amie sheds light on the topic of self-rejection. Learn what self-rejection is, how it shows up in our thoughts and actions, and what you can do to overcome this barrier to healing and connection. Listen to learn: H...

Am I enough? Am I worthy of connection? Am I worthy of love? If you have found yourself asking these questions, then you will want to listen in as Amie and Alana and their guest, Jess Kovic, talk all about shame. Jess is a certified life coach, APSATS trainee, Brainspotting practitioner, and fellow team member at Choose Recovery Services. Jess helps us dive deep into the shame surrounding betrayal...

Although he’s always eager to take you for a twirl on the dance floor, Walter isn’t the dance partner you want. His toxic tango can cause you to constantly trip up in your relationships. So who is this Walter guy? WALTER is an acronym representing the unhealthy communication behaviors we often fall into despite our best intentions. In this week’s episode, Amie and Alana share examples from their o...

Betrayal cuts deep, and that wound causes intense pain and heartache. In this episode, Alana talks about why betrayal is so traumatic. She walks us through the three main areas that betrayal attacks and outlines the six stages of healing. Listen to understand more about the strong emotions you may feel as you’re recovering from betrayal and how that’s a normal and expected part of healing. Listen...

Happy Holidays! Alana and I are so grateful to all you listeners and feel so blessed to hear from all of you and the support you feel from this podcast. Many of you will write in and kindly assume that we have it all together, so today we thought we'd show you just how much we don't! Head over to our YouTube channel to watch Alana and I listen to our blooper reel as well. We hope this give...

When you have experienced trauma or betrayal, grief and sadness feel like constant companions. Kim Brown, a grief educator, APSATS candidate, and certified betrayal trauma coach at Choose Recovery Services joins Amie and Alana this week to help us understand more about grief and its significance in our healing journey. If you find yourself constantly trying to ignore your grief or push it aside to...

“I have to do it all! I have to BE it all!” If you often find yourself thinking these things, then this episode is for you! Amie and Alana share practical tips for finding balance amidst the seasonal chaos. If you feel overwhelmed and pressured to make the holidays (or any days!) picture-perfect, this episode will give you permission to do less of what doesn’t matter so you can do more of what doe...

The holidays can be a tricky time under the best of circumstances, but in the aftermath of a betrayal, they can feel impossible. This week’s episode offers a no-nonsense guide to surviving the holiday season. If you’re tempted to run and hide during these upcoming weeks, listen in on this Road to Recovery webinar as Alana and Luke throw you a lifeline. The tools they share can help you navigate th...

After nearly two decades of marriage, Staci Somes found herself at a crossroads far too many women face: should I stay or should I go? Join Amie and Alana as they talk with Staci, a licensed professional counselor and coach at Choose Recovery Services. In this raw and vulnerable conversation, Staci shares her personal journey of betrayal and the growth and healing that can be found on the other si...

Do you ever feel like you have to pretend to be happy in your relationship? Are you tired of hiding your true feelings just to keep the peace? Join Amie and Alana as they talk about the problems of inauthenticity and the benefits of embracing and expressing your real thoughts and emotions.  Listen to learn: What authenticity is and why it is important in healing relationships The problem with feel...

Have you ever heard of the term radical self-care? Join Amie today as she uses this concept to encourage you to prepare for the up and coming holiday months so that you can be the CHOOSER of your experiences. Here is what she will cover: What is radical self-care? The importance of deep, intentional self-care. The first pillar: Awareness, including identifying beliefs, values, desires, fears, and...

While couples may go through therapeutic disclosures, what about the children? They also notice problems and are able to sense when things are off. Today Amie talks with Dr. Anthony Walker, a Choose Recovery coach trained in Brainspotting and the Multidimensional Partner Trauma Model through APSATS. Dr. Walker and Amie explore the what, when, and how of family disclosures as an important step in h...

Join Amie today as she shares an episode from her Empowered Divorce Podcast where she talks about the importance of healing from betrayal by BELIEVING your body. Your body's memory is an integral part of trauma that goes way beyond the cognitive part of your brain. The body holds so much memory and it influences your physical health, emotional wellbeing, and behavior. Acknowledging and address...

We are excited to welcome Darcy Haas to the podcast today! Darcy is an RN who practices functional medicine and nutrition. She focuses on helping women address the root causes of their physical health issues. Darcy shares her own experience with betrayal trauma and her resulting health problems leading her to study and learn more about how chronic stress and trauma can physically impact the body....

Do you ever wonder if constant triggers mean you’re stuck and not healing? While trauma triggers may last a lifetime, you can learn skills to decrease their intensity and frequency. Amie and Alana have a candid discussion about how to think about triggers, trust your inner wisdom, and rewire your brain’s reactions so you can heal, thrive, and appreciate the parts of yourself that are simply trying...

Join us and our guest Dr. Don St John, Ph. D as he shares his 4 pillars of healing from trauma. Here is what you will gain: Dr. St John's Trauma Background: Dr. St John's personal history of trauma and abuse. Realization of the need for healing in his own life. Understanding the importance of addressing both the mind and body in the healing process. The Four Pillars of Healing Trauma: 1. S...