Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma Healing

Join us in the third and final part of our series on the myths of sexual addiction. Alana, Amie, and Luke explore common misconceptions surrounding pornography use, forgiveness vs trust, and disclosure vs discovery. Tune in for insights and tools crucial to navigating sexual addiction and relational healing. Myths we tackle in this episode: “I only have a problem if I get caught.” “If my partner f...

In part two of this series, Amie, Alana, and Luke continue their conversation around sexual addiction myths. They tackle the myth that someone can control or recover from sexual addiction without professional help. They also explore the importance of having a solid support system as well as a growth mindset. Listen to learn: The pitfalls that can come when you don’t involve professionals in your r...

Amie and Alana are excited to welcome back guest Luke Gordon to tackle myths surrounding sexual addiction and recovery. Together they explore misconceptions about sobriety, the impact of acting-in behaviors, and the complexities of healing for both addicts and betrayed partners.  This discussion provides essential information for anyone navigating the challenges of addiction and healing in relatio...

Join us for part two of our series on debunking trauma recovery myths. In this episode, Amie and Alana tackle MORE common myths that can hinder healing such as "if the addict stops acting out, the betrayed partner will automatically get better," "separation always leads to divorce," and "boundaries shame the acting out partner." They provide insightful explanations fo...

In the world of betrayal trauma, sometimes it can be hard to distinguish fact from fiction. In this week’s episode, Amie and Alana strive to do just that. They debunk common misconceptions about forgiveness, trust, moving on, and the roles of both partners in recovery.  Tune in to hear valuable insights that challenge your beliefs and guide you in navigating the complex landscape of betrayal traum...

Are you struggling with negative self-talk after experiencing betrayal? You are not alone! This week Amie and Alana explore the importance of healthy self-talk in your healing journey.  Join them as they share personal experiences and practical strategies for recognizing negative thought patterns and replacing them with empowering beliefs that will help you cultivate a kinder, more positive inner...

In the aftermath of betrayal, some partners commit to the hard work of healing and change, while others fall short. This episode speaks directly to those grappling with the realization that their partner isn’t doing the necessary work. Amie and Alana explore the stages of grief that often accompany this reality, and they offer practical advice on moving through grief toward awareness, acceptance,...

It’s hard to know what you can expect from your partner when trying to repair a relationship that has been affected by betrayal. However, one thing you CAN look for is consistency over time. But what does that really mean?  This week Amie and Alana explore the topic of consistency over time and give you six main areas where you can watch for that consistency as you and your partner work to rebuild...

Are you struggling with trusting your partner after betrayal? This week Amie and Alana discuss where to even begin when it comes to trusting again. They give valuable insight on recognizing patterns, establishing safety, and taking wise steps toward healing. If you find yourself trusting too soon or wondering why it’s taking so long for you to trust again, this episode is for you. Listen to learn:...

When we experience trauma, our brains and bodies react in complex and automatic ways designed to protect us. In this episode, we revisit a conversation we had in 2022 with Jody VanDrimmelen, a licensed clinical social worker. Jody breaks down the science behind trauma responses and offers practical strategies for healing.  Learn how to listen to and appreciate your brain and body’s unique response...

Are you reeling from the discovery of your partner’s betrayal? This episode offers a lifeline for those newly facing the storm of infidelity. Join Alana as she explores common emotional reactions, debunks self-blame myths, and offers practical advice on stabilization and self-care.  Whether you’re experiencing betrayal or supporting someone who is, this episode provides valuable insights and compa...

Are you seeking solace, healing, and transformation from betrayal trauma in ways you’ve never felt before? If so, join us August 21-24, 2024 in Spanish Fork, Utah at our Revive and Thrive Intensive .  This four-day retreat offers a sanctuary for those healing from betrayal trauma, combining expert-led classes, somatic practices, and supportive community connections. Immerse yourself in powerful he...

Lace up those dancing shoes because there’s a new acronym in town - SHAWN B! In a past episode we talked all about NOT dancing with Walter. In this week’s episode we introduce you to the partner you SHOULD dance with - SHAWN B. Join Alana and our guest, Laura Fisher (a fellow Choose Recovery Services coach), as they talk about the betrayed experience and give you a helpful framework for navigating...

When your partner has a sexual addiction, it can be confusing and incredibly painful. Join Amie and Alana as they tackle a listener’s question about whether their partner thinks about them during these acting out times.  While the answer to that question is painful either way and you may feel the impulse to try to micromanage and control your partner, there is a better way. Listen in to discover t...

One of the most agonizing questions after a betrayal is, “Should I stay or go?” In this episode, Amie and Alana delve into the complex process of determining the answer to that question.  Learn how to confront your fears and conscientiously choose the right path for you - whether that’s rebuilding the relationship or starting anew. Listen to learn: Why there is no inherent right or wrong answer wh...

When betrayal strikes, the question of “Who do I tell?” weighs heavily. In this episode, Amie and Alana provide a roadmap through this complex decision as they talk about finding emotional safety and trusting your intuition. Whether you’re just beginning your journey or are further along, this conversation provides a compassionate and nuanced perspective on who to confide in during this vulnerable...

How do you love yourself first AND do the hard things? In this episode, Amie shares personal experiences and offers powerful perspectives on truly nurturing yourself through life’s chaos. You’ll learn practical tips for self-compassion, setting boundaries, and making time for yourself. This episode will give you the courage to turn inward as you foster internal resilience and well-being in your he...

It can feel soul-crushing if your partner asks for a separation, but what if it’s actually an opportunity in disguise? This week Amie is a guest on Luke Gordon’s podcast. Luke is a men’s emotional health coach and cofounder at Choose Recovery Services. Listen in as Luke and Amie talk about how couples can use separation as a catalyst for profound individual healing and growth which can bring about...

Last week we learned the thought patterns of those who are in the victim and emerger stages of healing from trauma. Today Amie takes us through the final two stages - reclaimer and chooser.  In this episode you’ll learn how to reframe toxic thought patterns and reclaim your truth. Understand how to shed your victimhood, separate your worth from emotions and circumstances, and become the unapologet...

Do you feel stuck in the cycle of victimhood after betrayal, believing thoughts like, “I’ll never trust again” or “I’m not enough”? In this week’s episode, Amie walks us through the “Victim to Chooser” framework sharing the progressive stages she sees clients navigate towards healing and wholeness.  Listen in to see if you have thought patterns that are leaving you stuck in the first two stages, a...

Do you feel stuck wondering if you will ever heal from betrayal trauma? In this powerful episode Amie and Alana share their own experiences grappling with that exact question. They provide wisdom and practical tools for aiding your healing process whether you are just starting out or are further along the path. You can and will heal - as you keep taking those crucial next steps. Listen to learn: H...

Do you find yourself imagining all the ways things would be better “if he would just…”? If so, you’re not alone! In this episode Amie and Alana dive into this disempowering mindset and provide wisdom on shifting your thinking by focusing on what you can control. Gain clarity as they share candid examples and advice on how to take your next empowered steps regardless of the things your partner is o...

We all wear masks at times, but hiding your true self is exhausting and inauthentic. In this week’s episode we welcome back Luke Gordon. Luke opens up about his personal battles with hiding behind false versions of himself. He describes how he was finally able to deepen relationships when he stepped into vulnerability, integrity, and authenticity.  Listen to learn: What true authenticity is and is...

Your body is keeping secrets - traumatic memories and intense emotions locked away at a cellular level. In this episode, Amie and Alana dive into the science of how the body “keeps the score,” storing experiences that your conscious mind has disconnected from. Learn how to unlock your body’s innate wisdom to truly heal. Listen to learn: How emotions and memories are stored in the body, not just th...

Imagine being able to rewire your brain to heal from the devastation of betrayal trauma and PTSD. Many who have tried ketamine say they have done just that. On this episode, Alana explains what ketamine is and how it can help receptors in your brain work together to promote healing from the pain of trauma. Listen in as Alana shares her experience with ketamine and the insight and healing she gaine...