The SelfWork Podcast

Trauma. Sometimes even hearing that word can make all of us cringe. Trauma is the emotional response to an event or experience occurring that was tragic and life-altering, such as a tornado, war, or a rape. You are said to be “traumatized.”  We all have unique responses to it. And ways to combat the fear, […] The post 121 SelfWork: Recovering from Trauma and How to Recreate a Sense of Safety appea...

Disappointment is hard to hear, and sometimes hard to reveal, but it’s also inevitable in a relationship. Whether it’s a one-time event or there’s a pattern that’s been established, there’s a way to work them out. But it takes emotional maturity and realizing that each time you work through a disappointment together, you build trust. […] The post 120 SelfWork: The Role of Disappointment in Relatio...

Vulnerability is a topic near and dear to my heart because I believe it’s so important to true change and growth. As prominent researcher and author Dr. Brené Brown says, “You can’t get to change without vulnerability.. period.” Vulnerability requires opening up, letting others in and telling your truth. Most of my most obvious vulnerability […] The post 119 SelfWork: Why Risk Telling Your Truth?...

I was caught off guard the other day when in my FaceBook group, I asked them to journal about a specific topic, and someone wrote that they didn’t know what journaling was. So let’s talk about journaling. What is it? How is it helpful? Are there specific problems where journaling is particularly helpful? What might make […] The post 118 SelfWork: The Incredible Power of Journaling appeared first o...

Have you made choices you terribly regret? How do you evaluate the decisions you make? Most of us might say that a choice was “right” if in five days, or five months or five years. we still feel that it was. If it stands up to the test of time, we can reassure ourselves that […] The post 117 SelfWork: A Three Step Guide to Making Decisions You Won’t (Likely) Regret appeared first on Dr. Margaret R...

What’s the difference, or is there one, between Perfectly Hidden Depression and what’s called high-functioning depression? I’m particularly motivated – in fact very sadly motivated – to talk about it because of an email I received this week from a woman whose husband killed himself. He was in his early 40’s. And no one could […] The post 116 SelfWork: Do You Have Perfectly Hidden or High Functioni...

Step-parenting may be one of the hardest jobs on earth, second only to parenting. It’s complicated, awesome, frustrating and sometimes downright irritating. Blending families successfully takes much more time than people want to think. There can be lots of personalities involved, old wounds and new hurts. So much depends on time and in what context […] The post 115 SelfWork: The Awesome, Frustrati...

How do you find a therapist? What are the pros and cons if you get a referral from a friend? What questions is it okay to ask before you start working with them? All of these questions will be answered today. Finding a therapist that you believe understands and tunes into you is a vital […] The post 114 SelfWork: How to Find and Interview A Potential Therapist appeared first on Dr. Margaret Ruther...

If you’re successful but you walk around feeling like a fake, you could be experiencing what’s called imposter syndrome – the fear that you aren’t what you appear to be. That you haven’t truly earned your place. That any day now, someone is going to discover that you’re a phony or a fraud. We’ll be featuring the […] The post 113 SelfWork: When You Feel Like A Fake: Ten Ways to Challenge Imposter S...

Let’s face it. With each new birthday, with every new decade, you can become more afraid of the future. No matter what your age, you can worry and dread aging. How do you keep on growing a sense of purpose and positivity in the face of these inevitable changes? You can tuck, and plank, and devour […] The post 112 SelfWork: One Way to Confront Your Fear of Aging — No Matter How Old You Are appeared...

Today texting is the topic and I’m talking about how to keep texting safe and healthy in both a relationship and in families. We’ll reference an article by Christine Schoenwald featured in Psych Central who talks about the six ways it can cause problems. But I’m going to stress how those problems can be avoided […] The post 111 SelfWork: How to Stay Out of Texting Trouble appeared first on Dr. Mar...

Today we’re talking about seven major myths about depression. There are many more than seven but these are common questions I get or comments I hear out in public. So we’re going to set the record straight. In this episode, sponsored by Audible.com, we’ll answer questions about PostPartum Depression, PreMenstrual Dysphoric Disorder, Bipolar Disorder and […] The post 110 SelfWork: What Depression I...

Today we’re talking about the development of perspective on your life. Of course there are many ways to do that – but a helpful tool is a timeline. What’s a timeline? It’s a tool you can use to see how events in your life are connected – what led to what… and it can help you […] The post 109 SelfWork: A First Step In Creating More Perspective on Your Life — Using A Timeline appeared first on Dr. M...

In this episode we’re talking about how to use comparison of yourself with others in a way that’s healthy and healing rather than creating a harder, more jealous or more insecure you! I’ll tell some of the stories I’ve witnessed and a couple of my own to move the discussion along, and help you see […] The post 108 SelfWork: How to Keep Comparison from Stealing Your Joy appeared first on Dr. Margar...

Today we’re focusing again on Perfectly Hidden Depression, but this time we’re talking about what PHD is not. I received two emails in the same day this week and thought someone had sent theirs twice. But they were actually sent by two different people. Both of their first sentences were, “I think you may have […] The post 107 SelfWork: What Perfectly Hidden Depression Is Not appeared first on Dr....

You may have asked yourself this question once or many times — “Why Couldn’t I Have Figured This Out Sooner?” In this episode of SelfWork, we’ll talk about the grief you may need to feel after asking yourself this question and the role of self-compassion in its answer. This is a part of any healing, […] The post 106 SelfWork: Why Couldn’t I Have Figured This Out Sooner? appeared first on Dr. Marga...

Today we’re going to talk about your relationship with food and I’ll share a couple of stories about my own journey there. We’ll identify the difference between comfort eating and binge eating… and we’ll discuss the fairly new field of food addiction. I’ve had several gastric-bypass recipients as patients, and have watched them, as they lost […] The post 105 SelfWork: When Comfort Eating Becomes A...

Bickering is a bad habit. These are fights that are practically scripted – you know what your partner is going to say and they know what you’re going to say before you ever say it as well. But you can recognize these patterns and figure out what you’re actually fighting about. Things like trust, control, […] The post 104 SelfWork: How To Break The Bickering Habit appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rut...

Today we’ll be focusing on what you have control over when you’re with family for the holiday season and I’ll offer seven pretty frank and real-time tips on how to manage your own. We can all hear the same tips over and over about not forgetting to maintain good self-care, don’t eat every dessert you’re […] The post 103 SelfWork: Seven Frank Tips For Getting Along with Family appeared first on Dr....

Many people have trouble with connecting with their feelings. I’ve talked a lot about PHD – and certainly those folks have many intense feelings well hidden away. But it’s not only in PHD that this can occur. Many times, I’ve watched someone on the verge of letting go, of allowing an emotion to surface – […] The post 102 SelfWork: How Do You Feel Your Feelings? appeared first on Dr. Margaret Ruthe...

Do you dread the leaves turning color? Did you have a loss during this year that you’re still grieving and the thought of raising a glass to another year makes you sick to your stomach? Are you looking back at last year and berating yourself for pounds not lost, goals not accomplished? Or are you so perfectionistic, […] The post 101 SelfWork: Coping with SAD, Shame, Grief and Perfectionism During...

Today is a huge celebration with the 100th Episode of SelfWork! You are the reason that SelfWork is going strong. You’re writing in questions. You’re letting friends and family know that SelfWork is helping you. You’re leaving ratings and reviews. I cannot be grateful enough for all the support, encouragement and caring that have come […] The post 100 SelfWork: Celebrating #100! And It’s All About...

Fighting depression can take courage, persistence and support. It can be created by so many events or experiences and it can wear so many faces, that there isn’t one path toward healing. That healing will be unique to you. Episode 099 focuses on three common hurdles — three decisions or thoughts — that can paralyze […] The post 099 SelfWork: Three Hurdles in Fighting the Black Dog of Depression ap...

Secrets can be devastating within a relationship. But it’s possible to work through them – with time and lots of effort. Yet what if your partner, who lost your trust for some reason, refuses to talk any more about it? You ask for therapy and they say no. What if the distrust is brushed under […] The post 098 SelfWork: The Devastating Power of Secrets Within A Relationship appeared first on Dr. Ma...

How do you know a therapist is the right one for you? Do you need someone who’s suffered the same loss or trauma as you? Or does it matter? Based on a great question from a listener, Dr. Margaret will be looking into what you might want to consider when you make your choice. The […] The post 097 SelfWork: What Makes A Therapist Right For Me? appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford . Our Sponsors...