The SelfWork Podcast

Aging takes a great attitude. No matter what decade you’re living in, you can fear turning older or embrace it. We’ll especially be talking about healthy families and how each generation learns to grow and change with one another. So what does Tina Turner have to do with it? Let’s say I had a revelation […] The post 096 SelfWork: Tina Turner Takes A Seat: Aging and Attitude appeared first on Dr. M...

SelfWork’s 100th episode is coming up! And I’m celebrating by welcoming more of your questions — so ask away and we’ll focus #100 on you! Today’s SelfWork is about bitterness, an emotion where both anger and hatred reside. People who are swallowed up in it can certainly have been hurt or scarred in some way. […] The post 095 SelfWork: The Risks of Bitterness appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherfo...

What is the relationship between rules and beliefs and how do they affect whether or not you’re depressed? Today I’m going to pull from cognitive-behavioral and family systems therapy to outline a series of steps to challenge and change your thinking for those experiencing depression, anxiety or Perfectly Hidden Depression. You can begin to identify […] The post 094 SelfWork: Challenging and Chang...

It’s a huge risk to reveal sexual abuse. A second betrayal occurs when you say “MeToo” and you’re not believed, it’s ignored or somehow you’re hurt all over again. Fearing this is what keeps many people from revealing what happened either years ago or in this very moment. Here are real people’s stories about what […] The post 093 SelfWork: A Second Betrayal: When You Say #MeToo and You Get Hurt Ag...

The Mighty is a terrific website that offers a place for everyone who struggles with a physical or mental illness, no matter how rare or chronic, to share their experience. You don’t just read information. You can hear a very personal story that helps you better understand someone you love who’s suffering, or gives you […] The post 092 SelfWork: Talking Mental Health on The Mighty with Editor Sara...

Today we’re talking about mindfulness and how to use this practice to address your own tendencies toward shame and perfectionism. This episode is sponsored by Audible.com and there’s a free trial offer for you today! What exactly is the difference between experiencing shame (or any emotion for that matter…) and being mindful of that emotion? […] The post 091 SelfWork: Healing Shame Through Mindful...

“You know the second that it happens, you feel your heart rip open and you know that everything’s changed and you’re just never the same again. And so… we call it a rebuilding. You spend your time rebuilding your life after the death of your child because the life you knew beforehand is gone,”   […] The post 090 SelfWork: Living Through the Unthinkable Death of A Child appeared first on Dr. Margar...

The empty nest. It’s what some parents dread while others are counting down the days. This podcast is definitely for that first group and might give some good ideas to those that are delighting in their new freedoms. Learning new purpose, finding a fresh passion, letting go and realizing you won’t know your now grown […] The post 089 SelfWork: How To Let Go and Fill Your Empty Nest appeared first...

I’ve never talked to anyone who was dealing with grief and loss that didn’t feel lonely in that grief. Whether it’s a death, an illness, divorce, coping with the drug addiction of a loved one, whether it’s sudden or long-lived loss, you’re walking much of that path by yourself. You may have faith that guides […] The post 088 SelfWork: How to Handle the Loneliness of Grief and Loss appeared first o...

We all know that advertising always makes things look better than they actually are. What happens however when you’re on social media – Facebook or Instagram? Is it fun for you or do you get depressed? Do you believe everything you see? We’re talking today about how to have fun and enjoy the benefits of […] The post 087 SelfWork: Five Ways to Keep The Fun In Social Media And Avoid Its Pitfalls app...

            I’ll be talking about borderline personality disorder today and of the exhaustion and guilt that someone who’s trying to love then can feel. You’ll rarely if ever be enough due to their immense and irrational fears of abandonment. I’ll offer nine ways to try to ease that guilt — […] The post 086 SelfWork: When You Can Never Be Enough — Loving Someone with BPD (Borderline Personality Di...

Perfectionism is one of the chief traits of Perfectly Hidden Depression. We’re going to be talking about confronting perfectionism – the first thing is to realize you’re not going to do it perfectly. I’ll share other important hurdles to recognize as you begin the difficult task of undoing a perfectionistic streak in yourself that only […] The post 085 SelfWork: Six Hurdles to Confronting Perfecti...

Bipolar disorder is a mental illness many people don’t understand and can be difficult to diagnose. Being moody is one thing. But being bipolar means your emotions can swing from high to low, with no apparent (and that’s an important word) reason for them doing so. Discovering how to manage bipolar is key to living […] The post 084 SelfWork: What Bipolar Disorder Is And What It Isn’t appeared firs...

Talking matters! Exciting research now shows that when mentally ill people share openly about their mental illness, it changes others’ perceptions. Today’s two guests on SelfWork are doing incredible and thrilling work to prove that when people talk about their own disorders, it changes the hearts and minds of others, decreasing stigma and a previously […] The post 083 SelfWork: Talking Matters. I...

Loneliness is hard no matter when or where it happens. This episode, sponsored by Audible.com, gives ten ways to combat or confront apathy and loneliness in your relationship or marriage. Feeling lonely in a relationship can also be devastating, as your lives are lived side by side but there’s little to no real connection. You’re […] The post 082 SelfWork: Confronting the Loneliness and Apathy of...

When sexual abuse occurs within a family, it can wreak mental, physical and emotional damage for the victim that’s complicated to heal. The stats tell us that 34% of cases of child sexual abuse occur in families. That figure is staggering, but my clinical experience over the years backs that figure up. In this episode, […] The post 081 SelfWork: When Sexual Abuse Happens at Home — The Choice to Co...

Today’s podcast is in response to what has been a more than difficult week for many who looked up to and followed these two celebrities, Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain. If you are one of them, or certainly someone who knew them personally, then our hearts are with you. It may be however you’re one […] The post 080 SelfWork: Kate Spade. Anthony Bourdain. Are We Asking The Right Questions? appeared...

Stuart Walker is a friend to all, the owner of two successful gyms in Arkansas, and a dad and father of three children, two of whom have autism and one with other disabilities and significant physical problems. And he was suicidal for months before he finally broke down and sought help. Stuart is the exact […] The post 079 SelfWork: Perfectly Hidden. An Interview with Stuart Walker appeared first...

“How can I forgive myself?” is a question I hear often as a therapist. We all can do things that we find more than difficult to forgive ourselves for, hurting people we care about or making a mistake that now carries guilt or shame. The opposite of this process is how people with narcissism view […] The post 078 SelfWork: Five Not-So-Simple Steps Toward Self-Forgiveness appeared first on Dr. Marga...

When you’re trying to move out of depression, negativity and “feeling stuck” — feeling hopeless about change — can be your worst enemies. How do you get your energy going outward instead of imploding inward? It’s often not easy. Here’s a simple exercise that can help you do just that. Even if you’re not depressed, […] The post 077 SelfWork: Confronting Negativity And “Feeling Stuck” In Depression...

Infertility treatment can be an exhausting and lonely journey. I went through it myself, and was blessed to conceive a son through in vitro fertilization. In today’s podcast, I’ll offer ten things that can help keep you sane and emotionally stable, even in the midst of feeling so out of control. These tips could be […] The post 076 SelfWork: 10 Ways To Survive Infertility Treatment appeared first...

Sarah Fader, author, blogger and staunch warrior in the fight for education and openness about mental illness, is my first guest on SelfWork. Her work was featured in a powerful piece on The Washington Post as she speaks candidly about her own diagnoses — Anxiety, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder and Bipolar Disorder — (which can be confusing […] The post 075 SelfWork: Interview with StigmaFighter’s...

Today on SelfWork, we’re going to be looking at research asking the question is suicide predictable. There is also controversy about whether or not it’s preventable – I recently had a mom whose daughter had accidentally overdosed tell me with tears in her eyes. “I can’t go there. I can’t believe that I could’ve predicted […] The post 074 SelfWork: Depression and The Unpredictability of Suicide app...

Welcome to SelfWork! I’m talking about self-control today… especially emotional self-control. We won’t touch on addictions, although they obviously have to do with emotional self-control. We’re talking about in the realm of communication how to maintain self-control when you’re angry, or taken aback, afraid or surprised. There’s a simple mantra that can be helpful — […] The post 073 SelfWork: Thre...

Today’s podcast identifies the one question that you can ask yourself before you take things too personally. I’ve heard lots of couples bicker and fight over the twenty-five years I’ve been a therapist, and this question will save you from so many assumptions and misunderstandings. I’ll use an example when I actually followed my own […] The post 072 SelfWork: The One Question To Ask Yourself If Yo...