SelfCareSchool's Spam Filter for Your Brain

Worried that someone doesn’t like you can turn one ambiguous detail into a full verdict on your worth. This episode unpicks the thought “I’m not likeable” and separates it from the circumstance that one person may not want to spend time with you. The conversation explores projection, the people-pleasing protection strategy, and why trying to make everyone like you is an exhausting human project. I...

This week we are focussing on overwhelm, freeze mode, and the false belief that an overloaded to-do list proves you’re incapable or failing. The discussion explored why the brain can’t prioritize when everything feels equally urgent, and why forcing more willpower usually keeps the cycle going. One concept discussed was closing the “browser tabs” in your brain by getting everything onto paper, sor...

You may understand your thoughts, feelings and patterns intellectually, yet still feel trapped in anxiety, resentment, anger or the pressure to keep everyone else happy. In this four-year anniversary conversation, Jo shares why www. SelfCareSchool.co.uk works for them when other approaches did not. The episode examines why mindset work must include systemic oppression, rather than pretending every...

Ever wonder why you’re constantly monitoring everyone else’s emotional state? This episode dives into The Self-Abandonment Loop, unpacking why we feel responsible for other people’s feelings—even when it’s fucking exhausting. The conversation focused on the roots of this pattern: survival mechanisms, learned behaviours, and messy boundaries that tell us keeping the peace protects us. The discussio...

Caught in relentless decision spirals and exhausting what-if scenarios? This episode unpacks why overthinking your choices isn’t about lacking information, but about your brain’s desperate hunt for certainty that simply doesn't exist. The conversation focused on how the real struggle is with tolerating uncertainty and the uncomfortable emotions that come with it. It dives into why more data an...

Sick of automatically saying yes when you’re desperate to say no? You’re not alone. This week on Spam Filter For Your Brain, we break down the trap so many of us fall into: the Self-Abandonment Loop. Why do so many smart, self-aware people agree to stuff that smothers them, even when they know better? The conversation explores what’s really going on beneath the polite surface, including the social...

Ever find yourself lying awake replaying comments from your aunt or reinterpreting that abrupt email from your boss? You’re not alone. This week, we dive into The Spam Filter For Your Brain, exploring why it’s not only impossible to stop caring what people think, but also why that’s not the real problem. Instead of aiming for indifference, this episode walks you through building discernment: learn...

If you ever feel guilty for taking a break, this one's for you. In this episode of Spam Filter For Your Brain, HeardinLondon dives deep into The Permission Deficit - the sneaky cultural framework that convinces us we have to earn rest. You'll learn why we link our value to productivity, and how guilt around rest isn’t a personal failing but a direct result of living in a patriarchal, capit...

Ever wondered why you can have all the best intentions, know exactly what would help you - and you're still not do it? This week, we’re diving into The Knowing-Doing Gap: that infuriating space between knowing what’s good for you and actually getting off the sofa to do it. We unpack why information alone never translates into motivation, how culture weaponises the word “lazy” (hi, burnout hust...

Are you exhausted by self-help that never quite sticks? Feel like you’re trapped in the Self-Abandonment Loop, where every new technique or therapy just becomes another thing that “doesn’t work”? This episode of Spam Filter For Your Brain dives deep into why some healing methods barely scratch the surface, especially for those of us with identities systematically ‘othered’ by society. Using a femi...

Feeling stuck between knowing what you should do for your wellbeing and actually doing it? This episode of Spam Filter For Your Brain dives deep into the the messy truth behind 200 episodes of showing up, making mistakes, and shifting mindsets in public. Key Takeaways: Number 1: Allow imperfection. Consistent progress matters more than perfection, and it's okay for things to have "slightl...

Ever catch yourself thinking, “I’d never speak to a mate like that,” but still tear yourself down anyway? This episode tackles the Knowing-Doing Gap: that frustrating space between knowing how you should treat yourself and actually doing it. Instead of shaming yourself for not being instantly kinder, we dig into why awareness isn’t the same as change. You’ll get pointed questions to disrupt your s...

If you’re stuck in the exhausting cycle of always saying yes, running on empty, or feeling resentful while meeting everyone else’s needs, this episode is your intervention. The conversation focused on breaking free from The Self-Abandonment Loop - the pattern where people pleasing disguises itself as kindness but actually means neglecting your own needs to avoid uncomfortable feelings or reactions...

Ever find yourself caught in indecision, endlessly rehashing whether you made the “right” choice, then doubting yourself for months afterwards? This week on Spam Filter For Your Brain, we tackle the Knowledge-Action Trap with three radical steps to break the cycle of self-doubt and regret. Learn why obsessing over “the right answer” and glazed-over fantasies about roads not taken are sabotaging yo...

Ever feel like you’re drowning in obligations, whispering “I don’t have time” as your to-do list eats you alive? You’re not alone. This episode of Spam Filter For Your Brain digs into the Permission Deficit so many of us carry - that ingrained belief that there’s just no room left for pleasure, rest, or anything that isn’t urgent. You’ll learn a simple yet transformative strategy for reclaiming yo...

Curiosity, Disability, Paying the Bills and Escaping Exhaustion - Spam Filter for Your Brain Episode 193 Feeling trapped by the constant grind and exhaustion, convinced hustling is the only way to survive? This week on Spam Filter For Your Brain, we unravel The Self-Abandonment Loop and how internalised ableism, capitalist time management, and the myth of never-ending productivity keep us stuck. Y...

Struggling to sleep, feeling impossibly overwhelmed by the never-ending heatwaves, and anxious about climate change? This week, we tackle the Panic- Action- Freeze Trap that so many of us fall into. In this episode, discover tangible tools to manage climate anxiety without falling into denial or toxic positivity. You’ll hear an intersectional, activist-rooted approach that refuses to sugar-coat th...

Drowning in money worries? In Episode 191, HeardinLondon applies the Spam Filter For Your Brain approach to expose the self-abandonment loop we get stuck in when scarcity thinking runs the show. Most of us fixate on what we owe, what we lack, and what we can’t afford, rarely letting ourselves imagine feeling secure or resourced. HeardinLondon unpacks how rehearsing the idea of having enough - even...

Yes And: Techniques for Handling Conflicting Feelings - Spam Filter For Your Brain - Episode 190 On this episode of Spam Filter for Your Brain, HeardinLondon (that's me, but I speak in a weird third person for the algorithm) talks about: Disrupting Negative Self-Talk and Tools for Conflicting Dialogue Without Losing Yourself Key Takeaways: The Concept of Holding Conflicting Thoughts Recognisin...

On this episode of Spam Filter for Your Brain, HeardinLondon talks about: Setting Boundaries for Self-Care and Compassionate Living The Difference Between Boundaries and Rules Definitions of Boundaries and Rules The Responsibility of Holding Boundaries Application to Habits The Benefits of Boundaries over Rules Encouragement for Self-Compassion Full transcript: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠...

The Impact of Money Mindset on Financial Wellbeing - Spam Filter For Your Brain - Episode 188 On this episode of Spam Filter for Your Brain, HeardinLondon (that's me, but I speak in a weird third person for the algorithm) talks about: From Criticism to Possibility: Changing Your Money Story Key Takeaways: Reflect on Your Own Money Story invites you to consider how you think and talk to yoursel...

It's you. not me - Spam Filter For Your Brain - Episode 187 On this episode of Spam Filter for Your Brain, HeardinLondon talks about: Other People's Reactions Are About Them, Not About You Key Takeaways: Your reactions - and other people's reactions - stem from personal life experiences, influences, and stories built over time, not from your intrinsic value as a person 01:50. When feel...

This has to change - Spam Filter For Your Brain - Episode 186 On this episode of Spam Filter for Your Brain, HeardinLondon (that's me, but I speak in a weird third person for the algorithm) talks about: Why Changing Circumstances Won’t Fix Your Feelings and What Actually Will Key Takeaways: Your feelings don’t come from your circumstances. It’s not what happens around us that dictates our emot...

"Finding your authentic self" is nonsense - Spam Filter For Your Brain - Episode 185 On this episode of Spam Filter for Your Brain, HeardinLondon talks about: The Problem with Authenticity: Rethinking How We Define Our True Selves Key Takeaways: The Myth of the Authentic Self Challenging the popular idea of finding your "authentic self," questioning whether this language is eve...

Shame and the rise of the Far Right - Spam Filter For Your Brain - Episode 184 On this episode of Spam Filter for Your Brain, HeardinLondon (that's me, but I speak in a weird third person for the algorithm) talks about: Self Care as Strategy: Shame, Emotions, and Resisting Far Right Politics Key Takeaways: Avoiding Uncomfortable Feelings Just Makes Them Louder Shoving down discomfort, shame, o...