Gal Talk

let’s take all the popular sci-fi movies and cut them down to 20 minutes of watchable material that is mostly just cool images and whatever kind of weird contrived weaponry they got in the future. like lightsabers. take all nine star wars movies and cut it down to one single hour where it’s all the lightsaber stuff. maybe toss in one or two scene with alien stuff. done. fuck your plot, fuck your c...

i don’t actually remember what we talked about on this one. something about capitalism? probably. we most probably talked about pussy. i can all but goddamn guarantee that pussy came up in our wide ranging tapestry of conversation

we all are trapped in a cage, aren’t we? this body of flesh and bone, this consciousness elusive to all scientific inquiry, this society of consumerism and wealth, prosperity and depravity, exploitation and criminalization (now I’m just saying words, and hey, aren’t words also a bit of a cage? forever stuck in language, unable to express anything directly, always lost in various metaphors to try a...

you know how people hate taxes? this is a big midwestern thing, because everyone here descends from some variant of libertarianism, so they don’t know how taxes work or why they exist, so all they know is that when april comes around it’s time to be mad at the government. and for 350 days of the rest of the year, there’s never another thought about what the government is doing with your taxes, but...

children’s books were mostly lame, when you look back on it. magic treehouse? shut the fuck up. you tell me a couple of kids are teleporting through space and time on a quest assigned by a wizard based on a different book from a magical library? and the wizard isn’t fucking the kids? you sure about that pal? you sure those kids aren’t just severely traumatized by getting a wand shoved in their ass...

well folks, it’s been 100 episodes of this show, and you know that means a lot to me, because during this time i’ve learned a lot about how much i don’t care about people’s attention or participation in something i’m making. so we will continue to do this show, regardless of whether or not you assholes are listening. in much the same way that Israel will continue to do a genocide, regardless of wh...

me? yes, i’m inclined towards water on my butthole after a long session on the toilet making memories for my children, thank you very much h

make sure to register your balls so when the time comes to use your penis, you’ll know which church to go to and cast your ballot (jizz) into the battle box (butthole)

a lady? as president? c’mon bro, you really think we’re fucking ready for that bro? a big stinkin pussy in the white house? what if she gets her 60 year old pussy juice all over the office chairs? who’s cleaning that up bro? tell you what, ain’t gonna be me. i won’t go near that stuff bro, it’s fucking toxic bro.

i'd like to have a quiet moment to remember the life and career of joe b. .... .... genocide. .... okay, now that that's out of the way - what the fuck, right? what the fuck is going on? does anyone know? do the people that usually know, do they know what's going on? or is everything now just as chaotic as it appears to us on our phones? is voting for a president going to have the same...

it's so disappointing... because you see all these people, Obama, Biden, etc.... and it's all this "thoughts and prayers" bullshit, this "there's no excuse for violence" type of speech, and it's like... excuse me motherfucker, didn't you spend the last eight years telling me this man is going to destroy democracy? that he was a fascist that under no circumst...

remember the 90's? no, me neither. fuck you if you remember the 90's, too, because i bet that shit was cool. you know how lame it was to grow up after the 90's? in the fucking early aughts? embarrassing. no one knew who they were or what they believed in. conviction was on a slow and gentle decline in all aspects of life. the color schemes we thought were appropriate... i mean goddamn....

at this point, i mean come on, bro. just let the man die. he doesn't know how to do sentences anymore! you remember sentences? you remember learning how to translate the thoughts in your head into complete verbal structures? that's gone, for him. he doesn't have it. god took it from him. and this is the same man enabling a genocide... i mean jesus christ, even i feel bad for him. this...

who's your favorite guy? and why? because my favorite guy has got to be the lord and savior. that's just a fun little quirk about me, is that despite all the other guys available for choosing, i still always go for the lord and savior. because it is very cool, historically speaking, that his name, given or chosen, was jesus christ, and at the time that was just like... some guy's name....

let's imagine you have a son, and he's smoking crack, he's listening to fleet foxes... isn't there a part of you that says "I wish I could have done that, when i was so young and so free, at fifty four years old"

look, we all love to make boom-boom out of our stick holes... but have you considered, rather than, instead of - we take all that pent up energy and overthrow the government? like, if we hold those bad boys in for a couple weeks, maybe forgo sex as an option at all, then maybe we'd finally find a prime directive. has anyone seen Chi-Raq? because i haven't, but i do know what happens in the...

yay, woohoo, everything is okay, i'm not stuck in a perpetual cycle of cynical thoughts perpetrating my everyday experience, thus ruining any opportunity to connect with a higher power, even if that higher power ultimately ends up being the sun or a gentle breeze on a cool day, or the sensation of kissing someone, or the breath of a loved one being snuffed out during the final moments on earth...

y'all ever get fucked in your ass wearing one of them doggo costumes? with the floppy ears? just getting dicked down by a man wearing one of them badger outfits while both of you climax to that there chinese cartoons, whacthu call them? anime? the one where it's like you can't be telling if the girl is a child or not? i hear y'all are real into that stuff, like when a dragon sucks...

sorry this one was uploaded a little late today, i was up late last night rewatching Twin Peaks, because... you know... i don't need to tell you how bad it is outside. it's much better to stay indoors and rewatch Twin Peaks. just go ahead and forgo the idea of community, protest, enacting social changes, just go ahead and flip that Twin Peaks rewatch on full blast. not even for nostalgia p...

i'm trying to think back... does anyone... can anyone name a specific thing that obama did? i know that stuff happened, i remember those eight years, and i'm not trying to say it was insignificant, but can you personally name a specific thing that was different or that happened? we killed bin laden, i guess. single payer healthcare, i guess. he pretended that flint's water was fine? fe...

i'm not a religious man. i prefer to think of myself as a simple country boy incapable of connecting to anything larger than himself, and the thing he's presented with in the mirror, because ultimately his only sentiment in life is that which pursues the pleasure of his immediate necessities. "who needs money and power? you can't take it with you!"that's what they always...

april 28th: 12pm. i'm writing this transcript in the dead of night, sipping on an herbal lemon tea i know, despite it's lack of caffeination, will get me too jazzed up before bedtime. outside my apartment i've just heard two friends parting ways (an obviously gay man and one of those women who has a very close relationship with gay men), and as a way of saying goodnight, they not only...

dude, bro. i know it's no longer 420, that time has passed us by, just as all time passes us by, without warning, in a fast trickle of movements we can't explain, emotions we barely have the space to comprehend and properly categorize, but bro, dude, whenever it's 420 bro, whenever it's 420 i like to get so fucking high i can't stand up to go to the bathroom because it's li...

collective voice, what's the deal? i feel like, of all the voices you can have (and i'm including chinese) the collective one is probably the most effective. or maybe not. maybe collectively chattering about the things we want or need isn't working too good anymore. maybe we need a new voice. a deep sexy voice. we need a james earl jones style of voice. something dark and mystical. ins...

we say we don't like colonization, but have we considered that actually it's actually good to kill thousands and millions of people? because i feel like that goes missing in the conversation. a lot of people will talk about colonialism being bad because of all the bad stuff it produced, but i'm here saying what if... but what if actually it's good to kill an entire nation of people...