Reddit Asks Us

Being healthy? Living longer? No disease or pain? Sorry that’s going to be one billion dollars…ooof sorry 👉👈🤪

I mean I’ve been sticking carrots directly in my eyes for years but as it turns out it always comes back to Big Carrot trying to push their agenda 😒

No questions asked but I really need you to help me put in Rhinosaurus into this guy's car...trust me it's for the greater good of society and because I want to

No trust me bro *insert any streamer* knows a lot about crypto!! You'd be absolutely stupid not to invest!! I literally mortgaged my house because they told me it was a LOCK!!

Well sorry officer I personally believe it’s my god given right to walk around with this double bubble ice cream in my pocket…if you want it you’re gonna have to lick it off me yourself!

"I've asked you out like 12 times...so is this time a yes??" "And no princesses aren't allowed to have drivers licenses...or cars...or anything really...but it's because I'm a KING!"

Unfortunately Superman physics don't actually work and we cant build a "time machine" by "spinning the globe backwards" but I appreciate the enthusiasm :)

Smiling to yourself alone isn't going to start your journey into becoming the Joker...unless you're like me and starting talking to yourself and eventually scheming and plotting 😈

Not every man will speak with his words…sometimes its with his clothing, like not wearing any around the house…cuz damn its gettin hot down there 🥵

Get off my back mom and dad! Weed is a great investment!! Well…an investment in my sanity! How am I supposed to put a job application together when you’re stressing me outtttt…its literally my 45th birthday 

Yeaaa so turns out sleeping with my friends boyfriend isn’t going to ‘strengthen our relationship’ like I thought it would….oops! Also we have a date tomorrow so if you could not be in your house the would be great!

Yea I actually don't bathe because its such a waste of water and resources...I also don't wash my clothes either because duuuuh waste of water AGAIN!!

Yea actually company policy says I'm actually allowed to care for my children so sorry that doesn't fit into your schedule :( I filed complaint on your behalf to HR tho!

Yeaa so who would’ve thought it wasn’t a good idea to control a submarine with a PS5 controller…also didn’t think id have to tell you but please don’t take that nuclear waste home with you :)

I know you think I'm doing drugs, but even if you shoot that directly into your veins you'll realize it's dust from a T-Rex fossil...also I will be cleaning my own towels now.

I’m not supposed to tell anyone but Iron Man is a true story…based on my dad…he said he will disintegrate bullies for me…also don’t eat in bed or ants are going to live in your ears and nest in your brain :) luv u 

Babe it's actually awesome, the cockroaches have learned to carry us around the apartment! No more walking!! And don't worry every time you show up the dishes get done! Not sure who it is but it makes it perfect for when you're here spending quality time :))

Listen...microwave popcorn every night for dinner might be the move, also next time we are at the bar let's be sure to find the bathroom and talk right in front of the door so people have to sneak by and say "excuse me" to get in...and let's also give them dirty looks for doing that!!

I promise I just barely glanced down at my phone when driving and hit that pedestrian, everyone knows a glance doesn't count! And let the record show I was also hardly even drunk!!

If you don’t set aside at least a thousand per month for DOGE then you don’t deserve to eat. Time to be smarter with your money, just invest when your parents friends at all street tell you to!! Join our subreddit r/Redditaksus

Hey guys! As I’m sure you can tell by the recording I’m feeling quite ill so I can’t record an episode until I’m feeling better. Take care! Love you all ❤️

My buddy is great guy! Other than the fact he thinks all women are worthless. But other than that he s'a stand up dude! He also collects hair and will only stare at your toes on dates, so just prepping you in case you notice your haircut looks different! Join our subreddit r/Redditaksus

Did your dad ever stop to think about the productivity scores at the office before his stroke?? Also, take some time to look at the email I sent regarded by failed almost engagement! Plus, why are we all talking about Lisa's dead baby when mine is alive!

If their back is turned towards the door, you won’t be leaving that elevator…also please keep off the grass I have to vacuum it again later! Also don’t mind me, I just HAVE to get this hole dug by 4AM In this episode of the Reddit Asks Us Podcast, I read and respond to comments from the top posts of the week from r/Askreddit, this weeks questions is “What's something that's completely lega...

Vegas is going be so CRAZY we are hitting up a WINE TASTING! But. Before we do that I am going to cheat on my husband overseas. Who knows? Maybe I’ll also be convicted of a crime against humanity?? In this episode of the Reddit Asks Us Podcast, I read and respond to comments from the top posts of the week from r/Askreddit, this weeks questions is “Folk who did something in Vegas that did not stay...