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When I had leftovers from lunch I would just stash them in my neigbors mailbox...I liked the guy too. Just didn' have anywhere else to stick my lunch

The boss man is smoking doobies on the roof...but I think i'm keep my mouth shut yanno, for business purposes

Yea dude I hate to break it to you but my train seat isn't really the place to be cutting your toenails...good on you for caring about hygene though

At this point I think we need to accept that the government just has a weird obsession with trying to optimize birds to do their work for them? Why have a human with a machine gun when we could just train a chicken to do it??

Watering your neighbour's lawn? Welp...I hope you enjoy rotting in a cell for the rest of your life

"Yea dude so she booty called me! Thank God I dodged that one!!" "But you're hardly friends with her" "I know dude! Wow...what a relief" "..."

Oh yea being a concert photographer for Travis Scott was cool...right before I became paralyzed during a moshpit

Hey man do you have any tissues? Yea of course man there a bunch in the trash I just used but their still good! :-|

yea I can't say we are rallying behind our boss at the office...we went out for drinks and watched him get curved by a waitress so not exactly a role model...

Yea sorry guys...I didn't mention this before the hangout but I'm not super into beating up random strangers as a prank so...heh...I'll have to skip out this time

At this point i'm going to have to accept defeat and secede power to the last tiny bit of juice left in the container...it has won

Unfortunately the TV dinner burps in my face weren't really "doing it" for me so yea i'm going to have to pass

Ummm so are you going to take our order or is this a staring contest? Oh nevermind I can see I just interrupted your doomscrolling my bad

I hate to break it to you but your "connection with animals" isn't really making me want to say yes to your arctic trip to meet polar bears and get them to stop eating people...

Wow you look exactly like my wife...who sadly passed away...but we should totally go out some time. I mean you kind of have to lol

Yeaaa so I hate to break it to you after you already bought those tickets to hawaii but I cannot surf...I just wanted to seem cool and give off surfer dude vibes..heh

Hiiiii honey so I posted to the local neighbourhood facebook groupchat about your erectile dysfunction and good news is that our neighbor would LOVE to chat with you about it!! Hope this helpssss love uuuuuu

So you're telling me if I buy your premium course there will be even more information in there, rather than the elite course that will make me a millionaire? SIGN ME UP!!!

I'm sorry man...I know she's pretty but her shoes had just a little too much green on them...like okay, yea we got a GRINCH LOVER HERE!! NO WAY!

Yea it doesn't count to be famous if you're going around asking people if they know you're famous...you still work at the drive through and I'd like my blizzard

So it turns out you can get a job by just walking in one day, sitting down at an empty desk and just pretending to work...cuz nobody is working there anyways...

Sorry guys my files got corrupted and I didnt have a backup for this weeks episode :(

Yea it turns out if you drive drunk in front of, well I don't know....WITNESSES...YOU WILL GET CAUGHT

I hate to break it to you Mike but everyone definitely remembers you stripping down to your tighty whiteys at the karaoke bar...on the bright side at least you won't have to work here anymore after your meeting with the boss!

No dude trust the more I watch this guy play blackjack online the higher my odds are of winning!!! You wouldn’t know because you don’t have any hobbies where you actually learn something and earn your way in life