Midnight Wisdom

Not an entirely new identity. It's just important to read what you've written. Reflection on that, and bringing it into you in the way that it needs to be brought. This podcast is the life of an enlightened being going forward towards a higher self and higher consciousness. More peace and love internally.  I will reflect on myself well and properly. In all of the different forms that I am doi...

I am terrified of being abandoned, and it's completely fine that I feel that way. It's alright. And I get to feel what I feel.  It's me. And it's alright.

Recorded 16th of May 2021. A Sunday at around 9:45.  It's nice to follow conviction and to scream your mind and thoughts. I hope the best for Palestine and its people.  It's important to remember that there are people out there, family, that are suffering, and I'm here, grateful for where I am.  And it's a question I'll always ask, 'how best can we solve a problem.' and if there's a...

07.05.2021 11:12 pm. Friday. I ordered pipes, and they sent me viagra pills instead of one of them. I never asked for this. What operational f*ckup would cause this?

07.05.2021 11:06 pm. Friday. Sometimes its important to get things that are aligned with you. Now a little towards that, and soon more towards discarding a lot of what I don't need or use. The feeling "I'd like to keep that" is interesting. Let's see when I have it to wear.

07.05.2021 10:43 pm. Sometimes it feels like someone else needs to sit with all of my writing, and make something great out of it. Hopefully that will be me one day. I'll write and I'll keep writing. It helps me grow and it makes me feel like I'm here and something or someone real. Potential and forward. Permanent and always but not yet. If it isn't me, good luck. I hope you enjoy the journey thro...

07.05.2021 10:40 pm. An interesting Friday. Feels like years ago somehow.  I'm tired since then. And I dislike our view and approach to medicine as a holy spirit. It's like we've destroyed everything holy about ourselves for something much worse.  A blind system running to make up for its own inadequacies.  Where's the old woman with a bowl? Where is the shaman and his smoke? Why ar...

Quality of thought, quality of life. What thoughts are you feeding into yourself. And what are you letting happen up there as life goes on. It generates everything you are, directing it, detaching from it, and attaching to it in a reasonable way is a reasonable thing to be aware of. The thoughts that are there when you wake up, and what that means for your day, the texture it adds to it all. And h...

Recorded 30.04.2021 Friday evening 8 pm. I'm drinking a lot of oat milk recently. A lot more peanut butter too. I did quite change my diet the last weeks didn't I. Fuller meals and more workouts. While still working.  My dad is a little better but still recovering. I'm recovering and growing on my own too. The stress of mistakes at work and finding a sense of detachment to them. Being at work...

She who will speak. He who will listen. Art, to me, seems to be everything. Grateful to all its forms.

24.April.2021 My dad might die tomorrow. But I've treated him like he was going to die tomorrow since I can remember. So it's fine. In a way. . . The world feels like a very shallow place, and the best revenge against it is to be more than shallow. As a sick joke the shallow world would take the most seriously.

I can’t breathe.

I smoke one and sit to start writing. Then it feels like podcasting is the creative expression I should go for. And I do. I merge it with writing, I think I'll do that a little more often. Reading is nice. And realizing a new concept of health for yourself, that's sustainable longterm. 

Recorded: 08.04.2021 6:23 pm I sound cranky in this one, I think. My mood improved drastically the days after.  Dopamine is one hell of a drug. I feel good, with myself and the things I'm doing. There is strength in fasting that is really interesting and intense if you let yourself feel it.  I'll try and record one tomorrow or after to see the change in my tone. Best, Khalid

I am convinced that hell exists on Earth, already, and it is man made. I watched an animal farming documentary the other day, and I'm fasting 19 hours a day now.  This is one point of view about it. RECORDED: 5th of April 2021. 10:35 AM.

The middle thread we all walk. I started fasting, and I'm not drinking alcohol anymore. We find our way to lose it, we lose it to find our way again. That's what it is. I called my brother today out of the blue and he replied, he said he was going to his bachelor party although he was married already.  I don't know why I'm worried about him.  I'm writing, and I'm living. Take care all, W...

28th of March 2021. I spoke to my friend Qais Akasheh yesterday. We caught up and talked about things we're going through recently. It's the first podcast episode I video record through our laptops and also upload on Youtube. Best, Khalid

28th of March 2021 I let go of some things (chicken tit rainbow painting).. I tested another thing (online coupon of my course and 200 people registered overnight) and I’m going to sleep now. Take care all.

I spent the night of the 25th reading Morningstar, a fantasy novel by David Gemmel about an unexpected hero whose legend grows completely outside if his control. A thief and a mavrick, and an unexpected friendship with a bard.

21st of March 2021, 9:35 pm. We are what we are. What's good for us is what's good for us. We forget, so we can remember more. I feel like I remember more. I feel like I've grown. I respect it, and I respect it again. This one is for Qais. I love you.  This one is also for my dad. I love you too.  Take care all.

Recorded on the 8th of March 2021. A Monday. I talk about my process of writing again, and what I'm going through. I think it's an interesting one. Best, Khalid

4th March, Thursday, 2021. Hay fever is fu***** killing me. But I'm alive and I'm living. One thing leads to another, and another leads to that, and in that the space that we are is the space that we'll always be. Let's try to make that one of peace that doesn't need anything. You move until the pieces align, you adjust, you interact until you find the person who readily accepts your actions. Skat...

Expression is in all. And it's beautiful. The directions it can take, the regret behind it, the love, and all the emotions in between.  It's in everything, in all. And how sensitive can we be to it? And which direction can we take it. As we still balance the rest of our lives, our jobs and work and responsibilities, with the real that we know we need to express. Because expressing the truth i...

I was really okay with letting all go. But I won't, and I'm not going to. Not now. Recorded Tuesday night, the 23rd of February 2021. I had felt like I lost my job the night beforehand, and slept in kind. Thinking of the path I'd take if otherwise. Going to Jordan, where I'd lock myself in a room in a rented house with no internet for 3 months, and write, day and night. Exist only for my writing....

The beautiful day of the 21st of February 2021.  I bought Settlers of Catan and Risk today ;) and I'm happy about that. I trained with Klaus for an hour and half, and I played Assassins Creed Origins for 2.  I talk about food in this one, and exercise. How I've been eating recently and the type of mentality I take when it comes to what enters me and how I use what enters me in what I car...