Midnight Wisdom

I recorded this on the 28th of August coming into midnight. After coming back from Jordan, didn’t leave my dad on the best of terms but he isn’t the easiest person to get along with. He is often unnecessarily difficult and I think he prides himself on that, somehow. I smoked and I spoke about it, even though on the way back I was already done with thinking about it. But hey, it’s life, it’s here a...

31.08.2021 Felt like recording mid day and talked about using and learning a new writing tool. Getting ready to go to Poland.

Treehouse on a lake. In Poland, Poznan. 05.09.2021, feels like a good day. Slept well and ready to take on the day and sit with Vernon. I indexed my writings, organised all I have in one dedicated Scrivener project. I’m eating well, meditated and journaled as soon as I woke up, and now I think I’ll paddle before sitting down with Vernon. I arrived here on Friday the third 03.09.2021, I’m glad I ju...

Recorded 28.08.2021 My dad.

Recorded 27.08.2021

Recorded yesterday, 21.08.2021-22.08.2021 at around 3 am. I was on the couch next to his bed, there was also a chair I sat on, thinking: “Remember this.” He was sleeping, he was breathing.

I’m booking the ticket now. Take care.

I am replanning my trip to Vienna and Helsinki to go to Amman instead. It’s a much better plan. 15.08.2021 Parents love us a lot, but sometimes people don’t know how to love themselves.

08.08.2021 My dad is dying, crashing slowly and uncomfortably, and his hate and malice is branching out. What did he expect? What does he want? And am I wrong not to feel any responsibility towards it? I don’t think I am. Room to reflect.

Recorded 4 pm 08.08.2021 In a way I felt like I lost the script. But little by little it will come together, I will always grow and understand more. Accept and be non needy, and in the end create things to completion. Precise and clear. Time, structure, and continuance.

Recorded 01.08.2021 Reflection should be used as a tool, structured and towards purpose. I find myself often losing myself in reflection for the sake of it, when the truth is only to be here now. To be in what you do, what you feel, and what is actually real between you and people and your work.  I reorganized my drive, and my folders, and will now write essays about certain topics I care abo...

26.07.2021 unsubscribed from amazon, big deal. Reflecting. Finding reason. Making the better decisions for myself. Reapplying to Vipassana and being cool about it. Meditating, waking up and being at peace with the reality of experience being lived through and could potentially be experienced.

Spoke to my families. Had a small situation with my uncle.  20.07.2021

Recorded 17.07.2021 Time has felt like it's moving quickly. But I am living. In this episode, close to sleep, I read through the first 5 pages of INTelligence. Minutes 4-30. Adding in things and reflection on breakups at certain points.  Renting a boat.  I said, towards the end, that I have no energy to bring the pages together. The 16 pages. I have the energy for it. That's all I have energy for....

The art of presence. Unedited. I breathe. I decide what is worth saying. And this is worth saying.

I reflect a bit on things close to the end of the day. Now that I do this it’s not a completely wasted day. Let’s love ourselves, learn, and be happy. Winter is a much different time. I do tend to have a dip in active energy in hotter days of summer.

Week 140 - a number. Finished recording Sunday 11:43 PM - I wrote the rest before recording. I'm being too dreamy and not practical enough. I need to focus on my life, my skills, my capacity and become more capable.  I need to put my life in order, before thinking of writing books that will put the world in order, I took my thinking too far and my current self is always suffering for it. Not...

27.06.2021 10:49 Pm states do change. And I reflect on what I listened to from a few days ago, and what has happened since.

Recorded Tuesday 22.06.2021 I had to remind myself I’m Ok, while I was writing The Vessels of God. It was therapeutic, as I sat in my reclining Ikea chair. Naming it all. A moment of interruption to listen back. But it’s just about patterns, naming them, feeling like you have to satisfy certain things in yourself before you can move on to something higher. Sometimes it is fine, really. And you nee...

Recorded Friday 18.06.2021 11:50 PM I start this off with a little Arabic because I feel like it and it is my native tongue, and then I describe my time in Greece and current experiences. This is one of the longer episodes I do where I go through the different things and feelings that I went through and happened. Really opened up my creative gates again in its own way. I think, maybe, the only thi...

11.06.2021 3:59 am. Good night good morning.

06.06.2021 Funny, I watched a little bit of "The Notebook" right now, half of it, and they both met on the 6th of June 1940. It's 2021 now. Good movie, so far.   All the best to you. Withhold your tension for a little longer, and see what it does.

Recorded on Monday, Tuesday and Sunday. Small moments. Integrity, rally, and gadgets. It sure does that I am screwing with my attention for no reason.  Focusing on things that do not matter. Waking up late hoping that I would feel more awake and alive but feeling thrown in the rythms of all that's wrong to begin with. What is it that I am doing wrong. I do wish to have fun.

Recorded 29.05.2021 10:37 pm Holy shi' it's week 135. That's a lot of weeks. And it isn't stopping. Was smoking from a pipe (not something I do often but I do have 5 pipes now..) and writing. Then I decided to sit and record and use that as a creative outlet. I'm glad to have done what I've done and I'm happy to see my relationship to creation develop and evolve in this way. Life is life, and I'm...

23.05.2021 Smoked a ciggy. Was zen then I wasn't (shocked face emoji)  I'm not all that deep.