Your Secret Is Safe With Me

Does making a decision about your infidelity situation seem like an unfathomable problem? How can you make the best choice for yourself in the present moment? Understandably, many people do not want to face the consequences of their difficult choices. They tend to identify the uncomfortable emotions that come with these decisions as unfavorable — but Dr. Marie Murphy asks: what if these feelings a...

Are you wondering if you're compromising too much or not enough in your marriage? How do you know when you've crossed the threshold of unhappiness and need to make a change? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, our beliefs about what is possible determine what becomes possible. Your reality is what you make it — as long as you're willing to put in the work. While it can be challenging to address your fe...

How are other people's feelings impacting your emotions and choices? What would happen if you started taking responsibility for your own feelings? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, it's possible to take responsibility for your actions and feelings — without needing to feel responsible for other people's emotions. The path to peace is discovering the power of your own thoughts and learning to let go o...

Are you questioning what you want out of your relationship? Society often hides the challenges of marriage, and many relationships don't work out. But, how do you know which path forward is the right one for you? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, many people enter into a marriage with little to no idea of what marriage means to them. They may believe it is the only legitimate form of partnership — wi...

When you imagine the worst-case scenario about a change in your finances, you may be ignoring the critical question: do you want to continue a romantic partnership with your spouse? Many people struggle to make a change to their infidelity situation because of financial concerns. So, how can you start alleviating your fears about money? Dr. Marie Murphy suggests taking the fears head-on, investiga...

Are you considering re-engaging in a relationship after an affair but unsure where to start? Whether you want to reorient yourself with a partner after a period of disconnection, or you just want to be on neutral ground before deciding to leave, Dr. Marie Murphy is here to guide you through the process. The first step is asking yourself if you truly want to re-engage with your partner. If so, Dr....

Are you trying to make changes to your infidelity situation, but are having difficulty dealing with the contradictions of your thoughts and desires? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, the decisions surrounding infidelity may seem complicated — especially if you have strong feelings for your affair partner. But, if you don't have a clear reason for ending or staying in your relationship, you will never...

Does wanting to leave your marriage seem like an unsolvable problem? What do you do if the decision is unclear? It's completely normal to have concerns and fears when contemplating divorce. But, according to Dr. Marie Murphy, considering leaving your marriage does not equate to getting a divorce. By taking the time to acknowledge your dissatisfaction with your marriage and work through your mixed...

Do you feel stuck in a cycle of conflicting thoughts and emotions? Contradicting feelings can be draining, confusing, and overwhelming — but do they need to be? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, in order to resolve these contradictions, you must first acknowledge the good parts of your infidelity situation. While it's essential to recognize these emotions, it doesn't mean they need to define your rel...

Infidelity, separation, or divorce can have parents wondering if they're harming their children. As a parent, it's easy to feel overwhelmed — especially when you're going through a big life change. But what if there was a way to navigate these tricky feelings and create a better relationship with your kids? As the Founder of Mother Flipping Awesome, Abigail Wald is here to help you overcome your f...

Are you seeking to free yourself from other people's thoughts about your infidelity? If you're having an affair, other people may cast a blanket of disapproval over your situation — and that can cause you to start forming the same negative opinions. But, do you really want to give someone that power over your beliefs and feelings? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, it's common for people to seek appro...

What do you want people to believe about you? Other people's opinions can have a powerful impact on how you perceive yourself. Different people will have positive and negative opinions, but when they are not aligned with your own, it's easy to devalue yourself. As Dr. Marie Murphy says, many people conceptualize their opinions of what is right or wrong as being fundamentally correct — but this is...

It's easy to feel encapsulated in an adultery bubble. With all the stigma around infidelity, where can you go to speak about the feelings you have? Is there a place to escape judgment and shame? Mona Lisa has created a safe space for adulterers, like herself, to connect without fear. For Mona, infidelity is empowering and provides her with a sense of freedom — but it is not without pain and other...

New relationships carry a special energy, often referred to as the "honeymoon period." But what happens after the excitement wears off? Is the relationship doomed — or can this energy spark a long-term bond? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, "new relationship energy" isn't always a bad thing. While it's important to recognize its existence and role in your relationship, it doesn't mean that the roman...

Do you feel stuck in a loop of self-loathing? Are there moments in your past that you feel helpless to change, so you end up re-playing them over and over again in your head? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, it's important to stop blaming and shaming yourself and start releasing your own pain. While forgiving yourself doesn't mean getting a free pass to abdicate any kind of responsibility, you can s...

Being the "other person" in an affair is complicated, to say the least. You fell in love with an amazing person, but are now stuck waiting for them to leave their long-term partner. With such difficult emotions at play, how can you choose the best path forward? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, it's easy to obsess over your partner's decisions when you're the "other person" in an affair. However, it'...

People have opinions about everything. However, when those opinions turn negative and become directed at you, it can feel extremely uncomfortable. Sometimes it might seem easier to try and avoid the discomfort by hiding your true desires or beliefs. But that response typically isn't what's best for you. According to Dr. Marie Murphy, embracing discomfort is sometimes the only way you can truly sta...

If you've ever been the "other person" in an affair, you're probably familiar with how challenging that role can be. And, it can feel even more complicated when being the "other person" turns into a pattern. So, if you've found yourself in this position repeatedly and it's not fulfilling your desires, what can you do to change your situation? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, sometimes being the "oth...

Relationships can be tricky to navigate under normal circumstances, but if your partner struggles with addiction, you'll likely find yourself faced with additional challenges. Society's biases toward addiction can make it difficult to talk about — especially if the only advice people give is that you should leave. But, if you're not ready to end your relationship, how can you improve your situatio...

Being the "other person" in an affair can be exciting, but it also comes with its own unique challenges. You may sometimes feel like you're stuck or powerless in your situation. And, because of the taboo nature of the relationship, you might not have anyone to talk to about your feelings besides your affair partner. So, how can you figure out what you really want from your relationship and start c...

How does the way you think affect your sex life? What causes the excitement of a new relationship to fade? And, can changing your mindset create more pleasure in your relationship and life?  According to pleasure expert Danielle Savory, you can transform the way you experience your relationship simply by changing how you think. As she says, people in long-term relationships often unintentionally e...

If you aren't getting what you want out of your relationship, what can you do to make a change? Couples therapy is one option, but it doesn't always work for every relationship. Fortunately, there are other ways of improving your relationship and satisfying your individual needs. According to Dr. Marie Murphy, there is no simple, one-size-fits-all solution — and no one but you can tell you what yo...

When everyday life is chaotic, difficult, or unfulfilling, affairs can offer an escape from reality. However, the deception of an affair isn't always limited to the lies we tell others — trying to escape reality can also be a way of deceiving ourselves. According to author Gina Frangello, nothing is really an escape. She understands how, at first, leading a double life can feel exciting and intoxi...

Heartbreak can be devastating. And, it's not just the loss of the relationship itself that is so painful — there are also messy feelings involved with the practicalities of untangling your life from someone else's. So how do you move forward in a healthy way? Is there a technique for transforming your pain into something better? According to Breakup Coach Dorothy Johnson, you can turn your pain in...

Unfortunately, sexuality and shame frequently go hand-in-hand, and religion's messages about sex may be partially to blame. Even if you aren't religious, you can still be affected by the messages that have seeped into society — such as the ideas that masturbation is bad or pleasure is wrong. So, how can you overcome these problematic frameworks and rewire your relationship to sex? As a Sexual-Spir...