The Wake Up Call for Lawyers

This year it feels like there are real live goblins in the streets.  So maybe it’s an odd time to put out the welcome mat. But to me it feels like there’s no other choice. If we notice our internal goblins - fear, anxiety, and concern or notice the goblins in others, and turn away, we’re missing the chance to care.   If we welcome whatever we see and hear, however scary it is, then maybe there’s a...

Sometimes I don’t know what’s happened today, or I know, but I’d rather not. The moment is so fraught and the consequences so big that turning away sometimes feels like an option.   But turning away from the external - turning off the news, turning off my phone - is one thing. Deciding to stop checking in inside - stop pausing, stop taking a breath and observing how the moment feels, which is how...

When I think about impermanence  I think of it as an immutable quality of life. When I think about democracy, though, I want to believe in its permanence.   That belief, or illusion, is what gets me knocking on doors, making calls, and mailing my ballot.    Maybe both are true: empires come and go,  and there is wisdom in believing in the illusion of their permanence,  at least until proven otherw...

I’ve been noticing this week,   as I practice apology and forgiveness,  that these practices invite me to dig deep.    What I’m digging for is generosity.  To apologize with a full heart,   I need to be generous enough to be willing to say I’m sorry. To forgive – and often I need to forgive myself –   I need to be generous enough to see   that when I cause harm, as awful as it feels,  there is roo...

Today is Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year. L’shana tova!  It’s a celebratory day, but it’s also a time for contemplation:  a time to consider any harm we’ve caused, apologize, and ask for forgiveness.    From a mindfulness perspective, this invitation is always present.  In each moment, we know how to look, and see, whether we’re causing harm,  remember the consequences of doing that,  and back...

The funny thing about mindfulness is that  even though it takes effort and solid intention,  it’s also deeply relaxing.    I used to think that focusing on my breath was some combination  of dreary, boring, and hard.  Now I’d say, it’s none of those things.  It’s pretty interesting -   sometimes the breath is interesting, but equally often,   what’s interesting is how wild my mind is.     And it’s...

I want to say I’m ok with the news, the polls, the weather, my friends, my family.  I want to say that, but plenty of times I’m just not.  I’m anxious or impatient or fearful or just flat out exhausted.    Mindfulness invites me to step back, observe what I’m feeling, and not flinch. And not only not flinch, but welcome whatever I see.  Welcome, and then love. And then also do better: be a little...

How much effort is enough? In the law, often the answer is, it’s never enough. That’s a burnout-answer. But it doesn’t mean we don’t have to work our tails off to do a good job.   Mindfulness invites us to work hard, too, but there is an “enough.” Sometimes “enough” is a few minutes of practice. Sometimes, it’s a ten-day silent retreat. Always, it’s practicing a least a little, every day.  In the...

When I think back on being 20 and choosing to be a lawyer, there was a lot of, “why not? That seems like a cool path.” There was less of, “how will this serve?” or “will this contribute to a more harmonious world?” I see now that whether my work created harmony or discord was always the important question. Pema Chodron invites us to ask, “am I going to practice peace, or am I going to war?” That’s...

Behaving mindfully is not always easy. Don’t cause harm, don’t take anything that’s not mine to take, don’t be biased, don’t cloud the mind, always be kind: it’s clear what the invitation is. But for me it’s not easy to remember to accept that invitation and live each moment like that. What is easy for me to remember, when I’ve caused harm or taken more than my share or harbored (or spoken with) i...

I have no idea how many times I say something, or write an email, or post, with irritation on my mind. Or hit the numbers for Verizon, with exasperation. I do know that when I do, the result is often not great. When I remember to be mindful - to consider my timing, be honest, and be kind no matter what (and no matter who) –the result is decent. The other person seems more interested and relaxed. A...

The problem with good intentions is that they’re subjective. Plus, I may have good intentions but what ‘good’ are they if my impact is still harmful? Wise intentions are different. Wise intentions are objective and aspirational. When I remember to set and follow them, I’m less likely to hurt anyone and more likely to be helpful and even, maybe, contribute in some small way to the good Dedicated to...

The Path to Waking Up Each of the eight steps of the mindfulness path - the path to waking up - feels important. But the first, which emphasizes that everything we say and do matters, feels like the most important to remember. When I do, I’m kinder on call-center calls, more compassionate to people who upset me, curious about political views that seem diametrically opposed to mine and the neighbor...

Right now feels like a moment when I need to assert my beliefs and work very, very hard to create change. The stakes feel too high to do anything else. At the same time, when I act like an expert not too many people seem to want to hear what I have to say. When I let go of believing I’m right and they’re wrong, they seem at least a little bit interested.  But is it even possible to let go, to cult...

The birds in the trees, the light at dawn, the gorgeousness of morning: these things are all mixed up right now with dysfunctional politics, a precarious climate, and so much going on at home. Mindfulness helps. Present moment attention without judgment, the first step, is crucial. And so is the next step.  The next step is, don’t wish things were other than they are. Work hard to change things, a...

Each day of being relatively balanced feels to me like a day of possibility. What I notice is that when I’m balanced, when I’m really feeling human - not in survival mode, not activated, not checked out, there’s the possibility that mindfulness will point me towards kindness and compassion, for myself and for everyone.  I also notice it’s circular. When I’m practicing mindfulness regularly, I’m le...

There’s nothing I want more, really, than for things to be secure and predictable and easeful, for me and for everyone. But that’s the funny thing about being human. Nothing is secure, not even our lives. Almost nothing is predictable, not in any durable sense. And ease comes and goes. On another, more foundational level, though, ease is always available. When things don’t go our way, when things...

Change: in my experience, it's sometimes good, sometimes bad, sometimes welcome, sometimes super hard, but nearly always, out of my control. And yet, when everything is going swimmingly, I forget that. I’m like a dog with a bone: grrrrr - don’t take this away! When everything is sideways, I forget, too. I can’t wait for things to shift, or I’m pushing for them to shift, and sometimes pushing...

For a long time I was convinced that suffering was for other people. I thought, I have enough to eat, a nice home, a great partner and child. Where is the suffering?  But I was missing the fundamentals. I was failing to see that this being human in & of itself is challenging. We have to shop, cook, clean, brush our teeth, pay our bills. We get a cold, we stub a toe, we get nasty emails and we...

The way I see it, we have two choices. We can rail against reality and exhaust ourselves.  Or we can find a way to leaving the room, the house, the office, the world, the moment, a little bit better every time, no matter how we’re feeling or what’s happening around us. We can learn to let go of wanting things to be other than they are. Door number one: suffering. Door number two: the end of suffer...

I feel like at this moment in a relatively long life so far, I should be able to say yes to certain things, no to others, and be able to count on things remaining relatively stable. Do you have that feeling? And yet I can’t because they’re not: nothing is either this certain thing or that. Nothing is truly solid, reliable, permanent. And the more energy I put into thinking it should be, the more s...

It should be easy to find someone to insult us, on social media, for example, or from among our snarkiest friends. I feel like I want to find someone every day, or let them find me, because they help me to see where I’m holding back, where I’m stuck.   If you're looking for that, too, what happens when someone shows up and we just get defensive? Or we don’t listen in order to learn?  And what...

When something or someone upsets me, I’m quick to blame. I’m slower to remember to simply sit still, with upset, anger, fear, or sorrow. When I’m upset, sometimes I think I’m the only one who feels like I do, or who’s having the problems I’m having. But that’s never the case: everyone gets upset, frustrated, bummed out, and scared, at some point or other. When I can remember that, and learn from i...

The more I learn about mindfulness, the more I realize I’m not solving for anything. I’m just learning to stop strategizing. The world is beautiful and full of love, and also, torn up by war, overwhelming, uncertain at best. To me the most natural response has been to strategize. How could I possibly get by without a plan? But I’m beginning to see that a more mindful response is to do just that. O...

  To me, groundlessness as a wisdom practice is challenging. It’s an invitation to forget every concept, let go of everything I know, and sit in the direct experience of my life. I love the idea. But as a practical matter, how do I make dinner if I live in a non-conceptual reality, let alone how do I walk into a courtroom and present evidence? On the other hand, what if the aspiration to let go at...