The Wake Up Call for Lawyers

I’m great at philosophizing and offering advice about how to be kinder, more compassionate, even wiser. But who am I fooling? My philosophy is theoretical, and honestly, on those topics, what’s anyone’s advice worth? Not much, because no one really wants to follow anyone else’s advice. But we all want to follow examples, especially the examples of people who know what to say, and do, and how, when...

Faith is an old-fashioned word. Maybe its most well-known meaning is religious. But true faith predates religion. Ancient humans had faith in the earth, the animals, the stars.   I don’t know much about that kind of faith, but I do know one thing: that I have faith in my own heart and mind, and in yours. I have faith in our ability to love, and to care, and to see, moment by moment, that we’re all...

It’s astonishingly easy for me to lie. “I didn’t say that, I didn’t mean that, you misunderstood.” “I’m sorry you feel that way,” instead of, “I’m sorry I’ve hurt you.”   I admire people who are honest about their impact and can say, through embarrassment and even shame, “It’s my fault. I see how that hurt you. I’m sorry. How can I make things right?” I admire myself when I’m honest like that, too...

The fool can beloved or not. Beloved fools are open-hearted and cultivate “don’t know” mind. Not-so-beloved fools think they know something, or know better, or are better.   What I can see, so far, is that takes courage and fortitude to watch closely enough, over a long enough period of time (maybe a lifetime?), to see when foolishness is taking a beloved form, and when not. And to be humble when...

It’s one thing to practice and study mindfulness. It’s a great thing. It’s another to act accordingly.  What happens when you’re in the courtroom or conference room or family room? Does your heart stay open, or clamp shut? Is your mind filled with hate, or love? When my heart is shut or my mind is filled (or even tinged) with hate, sadly, I act accordingly. When my heart is open and my mind is fil...

It’s not like we don’t know we’re supposed to do that. It’s not like I don’t know. But it so much easier, maybe even reflexive, to notice the faults of others.  To be fair, it’s also part of legal training: to look for the faults, or the fault lines. To always be on the lookout for what could go wrong, what could blow up, and who could be blamed. What a training. But only a training. Another train...

I notice that far too often, I let my mind run wild. I don’t mean I’m completely undisciplined – I have a meditation practice and you probably do, too. So we’re not completely undisciplined. But I don’t know about you: when I look at the news, my mind tends to run wild. Looking more closely, though, I realize it’s not so much mind running wild, as heart running scared. I see or hear something, and...

My general reaction to those little life lessons, the AFOGs, has not been delight. Instead, I’ve often felt affronted or like I’ve messed up or failed.  I’m starting to see how to meet those lessons a little differently, though: with joy. Which means I have to laugh at myself, and at the ancient, cement-like, internal structures that feel like they kept me safe…and are no longer useful.  Which isn...

It feels supportive to share about what we’ve read or come to understand about kindness and connection. I’m as guilty as the next person of doing that – probably more guilty. Just ask me – I’m happy to share.  But the real wisdom is in walking the walk. If I’m talking about how we belong to one another but in my next move, I’m in a “we/they” conversation, how is that helpful? If I’m not only ackno...

Creating happiness when so much seems to be crumbling before our very eyes – sometimes that feels like a challenge. But what works for me is the moment-to-moment feedback loop.  When I speak and act with goodness, even in conflictual or adversarial moments, the goodness makes me feel happier. Not happier because I’ve given something up – I’m not doing that – I’m standing my ground – but happier be...

Here I am, again, my heart all bound up in some petty dispute. For the millionth time, I see, and feel, tightness, closed-up-ness: this old heart trying to protect itself. It takes so much effort. It feels like I’m shoving an old bureau in front of its door.  But seeing is understanding. Only when I summon the courage to see that the door is closed, the mouth is set, the eyes are no longer soft or...

Sometimes I feel like we take for granted the privilege we have as lawyers, law professors, judges, and mediators. Or that we’re not worthy of our power. Or that I’m not. Because what is privilege if we forget that we’re all in this together, and that everything we say and do, matters? And what is power unless we use it to clarify our minds? Or access, if we don’t remember to first, access our own...

The more attentive I am, especially to this mind running amuck, the more stable I feel. If I’m off on my latest adventure, surfing for that pair of shoes I just have to have or baking those cookies I just have to eat, there’s so much tug and pull. If I can catch those impulses before they take over, I still might buy the shoes. But at least I don’t feel so consumed.  The mindfulness metaphor is th...

I can take a stand on just about anything. It’s not just that I’m trained to argue. It’s also that as a human, I have preferences. And they don’t necessarily match what the world offers up.  So I’m as guilty of quarreling as the next person. As guilty of holding fast to my position, wanting to be right, wanting to win, as anyone.  Until I remember my fate. Which is the same as yours. Which is the...

The problem with blame is that it cuts into the heart. When I blame someone, I can feel it like a knife, cutting me as much as it cuts them. Blame sets the scene for conflict, and there’s already so much conflict. But when thoughts of blame arise, I also notice that it’s also possible to let them go. And when I remember to do that, it’s possible to see underneath, and to realize that these thought...

Sometimes I don’t realize how powerful my state of mind is. I walk into the house or a meeting with something “on my mind,” and whatever that is, constructs my experience. I have no inherent animosity towards the person in the room, but because of a recent, frustrating, call, for example, frustration infuses the next conversation and can even become its whole form. If I’m someone with long-term, u...

I love mindfulness, partly for its promise of liberation, but also for the ways it helps me on a very practical level, to navigate through life. The lists and aspirations are a huge support, and a kind of blessing, especially right now. There’s another way to explore mindfulness, though, and that’s through a poetic lens. That lens isn’t more or less supportive, or more or less of a blessing. It’s...

Seems like setting an intention to be kind and to not cause harm would be a simple thing. But then look at the world, and all of the devastating consequences that happen even when the responsible person claims their intentions were good.  What if we paid attention to intention at the beginning, middle, and end? Meaning, before we spoke or acted, while that was happening, and later? And if we disco...

It’s funny the way we toss around our points of view, as if we’re entitled to any which one. Or at least we feel like we are. It’s a free country, right? But wouldn’t it be better if we were more deliberate? And chose a point of view that included caring about everyone, and all the critters, and also the planet?  And also took into account that whether or not we adopt a wise, compassionate, point...

Sometimes I wonder if “wise livelihood” is possible in the law. Can we support ourselves and our organizations and not deal in intoxicants, poisons, weapons, or humans…given the many nuanced interpretations of those words? Including the ways we might, from some perspective we can’t quite see, inadvertently be dealing in one of those ways?  And can we ever completely do no harm, in our adversary sy...

The mind isn’t naturally cloudy. It’s naturally clear and luminous. If you’re in the habit of watching a sunset or looking into the faces of children or elders or the mirror, you probably already know: luminosity is right there, right here. But if you look in the mirror and don’t see your own luminous mind – and heart - they’re all one system – maybe the clouds have rolled in. And in that case, ma...

There are so many subtle and not-subtle ways to disrespect other people. When I do it, I can feel the boomerang effect of disrespect. It creates a field. I feel like we’re seeing that play out in Minnesota, in Washington, in the world. It’s a terrible thing. There’s only one way I know to be truly respectful: see everyone, including myself, as worthy of my patience, generosity, and love. Listen. C...

I have enough. Sometimes I have to remind myself, but it is a fact. It’s not in question. There’s no world – at least in this moment – where my family goes hungry or sleeps on the street. How about you and yours? There is enough, for everyone, if only we can be generous and compassionate. I feel like that’s also a fact. But sometimes it’s hard for me to remember when so many aren’t getting their s...

I’m looking around. And it looks to me like there’s just so much harm. Not only our government, but also the ways it’s easy to mimic what’s happening on the national level, even when we don’t mean to: forgetting how much harm we can cause by not offering kindness to everyone (or by forgetting what “everyone” means). What about looking for ways to not cause harm? And every time we see them, not onl...

Happy New Year. I wasn’t sad to say goodbye to 2025, but I’d say 2026 isn’t starting off with any fewer challenges.  Challenges or no challenges, though, we can set our personal tone. How about 2026 for a tone of kindness? What if we commit to talk, write, and post, one-on-one or to our ten million followers (or 460, in my case), without causing harm, or lying, or being unkind? I don’t know what i...