The Sex After Kids Podcast

Send us Fan Mail Struggling with low desire or no sex after kids? You're not alone—and you're not broken. In this episode of The Sex After Kids Podcast , sex and intimacy coach Sofia from The Happy Vagina Project shares 5 mindset shifts to help couples reconnect, reignite desire, and break out of the dreaded “Not Tonight” cycle. Whether you're feeling touched out, rejected, or just...

Send us Fan Mail Ever found yourself thinking, “Why are they always avoiding sex?” Or maybe you’ve felt the sting of rejection and started to question your relationship, your desirability, or your skills in bed. This episode of the Sex After Kids Podcast flips that narrative on its head. We’re diving into the real reasons behind intimacy avoidance—especially after becoming parents. Spoiler: it’s n...

Send us Fan Mail Flirting with the D-word (Divorce)? Or just feeling like roommates with a mortgage and a laundry pile that never ends? So many couples are experiencing the same thing, but they don’t have the secret sauce I’ll share in this episode.  Today we are talking all about the small, not-so-sexy things that make a massive difference. I’m talking: ✨ Undivided attention (yes, even for 3 min...

Send us Fan Mail We have another bedroom dispatch for you this week on the Sex After Kids Podcast. In this episode, we’re throwing out the Bridgerton fantasy and getting real about what it takes to feel sexy when you’re touched-out, overstimulated, and secretly fantasizing about alone time with your book boyfriend. Listen as I walk you through how I use my signature Time Together Blueprint to turn...

Send us Fan Mail What if the stories you’ve been taught about sex—what it should look like, feel like, and mean—are the real reason it’s not working?  In this episode of the Sex After Kids Podcast , we’re unpacking six cultural myths that sneak into your bedroom and sabotage connection. From spontaneous desire to sexual obligation, we’re breaking it all down—and offering a new way forward.  🎙️ Wha...

Send us Fan Mail  What if the hottest thing you could bring into the bedroom… was a question?  In this episode of the Sex After Kids Podcast , we’re talking about consent—not the swipe-right kind, but the long-term, tired-parents, messy-realities kind. Consent isn’t just about saying “yes” or “no.” It’s how we build trust, support nervous systems, and create sex that feels good for both of you.  W...

Send us Fan Mail This week we have another bedroom dispatch from my sheets to your ears. I share these to normalize what real sexy times look like and to show you how my I use my own tools in my real life - so you can see who they work for you.  This week you'll hear how I turned complaining about my body into a lovely romp in the hay with my partner using my Time Together Blueprint - four si...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode of the Sex After Kids Podcast , we explore one of the most tender and often unspoken transitions parents face: grieving your pre-kids sexual self. Whether your relationship with sex was neutral, fraught, or thriving before kids, the shifts that come after can feel disorienting — and sometimes heartbreaking. Join me as we talk about: Why your sexual identity changes...

Send us Fan Mail If you are a parent you have likely at some point or another engaged in duty sex - sex that you had because you felt you had to or felt pressured to - to keep the peace or to keep your partner happy. You don't need to be a sexologist to know that this can have an impact on your relationship. This week we break down a study by Dr. Cami Hurst on Duty sex. We'll talk about...

Send us Fan Mail Are you the fun police in your house? Always 10 steps ahead of what your kids and partner need, hardly ever just in the present moment. This could be what's killing your libido. In today's episode of the Sex After Kids Podcast we talk about: - how stress creates armour against pleasure - how pleasure is the medicine you need to combat stress and create connection in your...

Send us Fan Mail This week's episode is for the new parents out there. If you are a seasoned vet make sure to pass this on to any new and expecting parents you know. We are going to talk about : - the 6 biggest myths about sex after delivery and how they will create bad habits for your sex life into the future - my top tips for staying connected through the early years.  - my favourite tool f...

Send us Fan Mail This week on the podcast we have guest Michelle Purta, a marriage and communications coach. This week she will guide us through how to start the conversation about our sex life and how to move forward if we are stuck in a cycle argument on this topic. Michelle and I had to record this conversation three times due to some tech glitches so we thank you for your listening patience. ...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode we are doing a deep dive into one of the key ingredients of a great sex life - the nervous system. When we talk about creating safety for ourselves and our partner this is what we mean - working with the nervous system to get out of fight or flight. When your partner is avoiding talking to you about sex, avoids sex, or rushes through sex - there's a nervous sy...

Send us Fan Mail In this week's episode of the Sex After Kids Podcast Sex Coach Sofia talks about how your fairy smut, daydreams about your ex and porn usage might be killing your sex life and what to do about it.  No shade to fantasy, erotica or ethical porn here - and it be both helpful and harmful to our sexual connection.  In this episode Sofia breaks down: how fantasy can fuel great sexp...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode Sofia talks about an often overlooked way to reconnect with your body, your pleasure and your libido after kids. We'll cover:  - why talking to your VJJ is so important  - 3 ways to get to know your body better (without self pleasure)  - how becoming BFFS with her VJJ changed the game for her sex life Links:  OMGYES. https://start.omgyes.com/join?irclickid=TFV...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, host Sofia shares the lightbulb moment when she realized the parenting tools she was using to support her family to more peaceful moments and cooperation, could help her find more connection and less conflict with her partner, both in and out of the bedroom. Join her as she walks through her five favourite strategies and how they help her to be a better mom, a bet...

Send us Fan Mail This week on the Sex After Kids Podcast Sofia explores more sex alphabet soup. This week she breaks down: One of the biggest misconceptions about sex that will keep you trapped in the monotony of maintenance sex.  How opening up to Discovery Mode is going to unlock more excitement and anticipation in your sex life after kids.  Why embracing a new P and V (hint they are not penis a...

Send us Fan Mail Today we are talking about the M word. Masturbation or self-pleasure can be a super taboo topic, especially when we bring it up in the context of long term relationships or marriage. In todays' episode Sofia tackles the reasons we avoid self-pleasure in our LTR, and makes the case for how the right kind of masturbation practice can actually make you a better lover.  Got quest...

Send us Fan Mail I have something special for you on todays' episode. A throwback to 2015 when I did a Pecha Kucha talk (who remembers that cultural moment) and I gave a talk about orgasms and rivers. It's 6 minutes, totally hilarious and I hope it moves you. 

Send us Fan Mail In this Episode of the Sex After Kids Podcast I was inspired to reflect on the ways that the archetypes of the Good Mother and The Good Father affect our ability to have great bedroom time. I was inspired by a new book coming out called The Good Mother Myth: Unlearning Our Bad Ideas About Being A Good Mom by Nancy Reddy - to explore how the stereotype can limit our ability to sink...

Send us Fan Mail I get it… you are le tired of people telling you to schedule sex… cause it’s lame, not spontaneous, unsexy, or how the F are you going to be able to guarantee that your libido is going to show up on demand.  In this episode of the Sex After Kids Podcast we break down your hangups about scheduled sex, four reasons to get over it anyways, and I break down my four step formula for sc...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode of the Sex After Kids Podcast Sofia shares a session from the 2024 Sex After Kids Summit. If you have ever wondered how to open the conversation about your sex life after kids, or if it feels impossible to get what you want in your relationship now that kids are in the mix, this episode is a must. Let's talk about why its so hard and what you can do it about i...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode of the Sex After Kids Podcast, Sex Coach Sofia Ashley challenges couples to explore what they are doing with their time, and how those choices impact their intimacy and their relationship. She explores four reasons why you might be using lack of time as a distraction from the root cause and how to use even 30 minutes a month to get back into the saddle of your sex...

Send us Fan Mail Have you ever had big feelings come up during sexy times - frustration, irritation, sadness, anger, annoyance? Those big emotions are often a sign that memories and traumas are coming up to be processed. Sometimes, in our sex lives post-kids, those memories can be the very thing blocking our desire to get into the bedroom in the first place. In this episode I walk you through how...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode Sofia explores why so many women are just "waiting for their sex drive to come back online" to have a better sex life. She explores why this thinking is the hard way back to a fun and flirty relationship and what couples who have a thriving sex life after kids do instead. She shares dispatches from her bedroom to illustrate how tuning into intention inste...