The Sex Addiction Podcast For High-achievers and Entrepreneurs

We all know that connection and peer-support are the most critical elements in recovery from sex addiction. Despite going to meetings, not all men are actually connecting or receiving peer-support. This does NOT mean that you should stop going to meetings. Instead, take charge. In this episode, I discuss how to get the most out of your support groups so that you can achieve long-term sobriety and...

Sure, you’ve gone through the basics. But it was probably back when your sex or porn addiction was first discovered. The truth is, it's hard to digest and implement everything correctly when you’re first discovered. Life is chaotic, and your marriage is hanging on by a thread. So, now that you’re further down the road of sex addiction recovery, you would likely benefit from revisiting the basics t...

Have you ever heard someone say: “I can’t wait to stop eating healthy.”“I can't wait to stop going to the gym.”"I can't wait to stop brushing my teeth.” No! Because these things are important. So, why do sex addicts wonder when they will stop having to be in recovery? Recovery is different from sobriety. Sobriety is about stopping the unwanted sexual behavior. Recovery is about ensuring you’re a t...

You would think that experiencing infidelity would decrease the chance that you would be unfaithful… But this isn’t always the case. In fact, being betrayed can lead to trauma that could then cause you to be the one who betrays. Adam Nisenson (The Betrayal Shrink) is a CSAT who specializes in treating betrayed men who have experienced infidelity. With so much of the focus being on male cheating, i...

If you acted out sexually at your place of work or during business travel, it’s common for betrayed partners to feel unsafe when it comes to your career and travel. Many men recovering from sex addiction are asked by their wives to change jobs or stop traveling for work. This can be a challenging request to navigate. Many of the men in my groups have faced this conversation in early recovery. In t...

Dr. Trish Leigh uses advanced neuroscience technology to treat men with sex and porn addiction. In this episode, she explains to listeners how it works. Dr. Leigh looks for dysfunctional brain patterns and then prescribes the appropriate treatment strategy. She is the author of the book, “Mind Over Explicit Matter. Quit Porn and Improve Intimacy Through Neuroscience.” She also has an extremely rob...

What we measure matters. Without measurement and monitoring, how do you know if you’re getting closer to where you want to be? This is absolutely true for sex addiction recovery. Most of the men I talk to are checking boxes but not following a recovery plan. Addicts need to understand what caused them to act out so that they can create a plan to prevent it from happening again. We see a high relap...

In this episode, Dr. Jake Porter explains his integrity model and how it can be used in sex addiction recovery. As many of you know from listening to my podcast, I admire Jake Porter and all he has done for the field of sex addiction and betrayal trauma. His approach has helped so many couples heal their marriages and betrayed partners regain their sense of self. In this episode, Jake and I break...

In this brief podcast episode, I talk about what 95% of sex addicts blame for their slips and relapses… and it's a total excuse. It’s not their fault. They don’t mean to make excuses. But, there’s certainly a more productive way to get to the root cause of their acting-out behavior. To be in good recovery, you must know WHY you do the things you do. If you want help discovering the WHY behind your...

Sex addiction is much bigger than most people realize. While it's often discussed that sex and porn addiction are a result of childhood trauma, emotional regulation, entitlement, etc. There are many more reasons why someone would become sexually compulsive. In this episode, I interview Jeremy Mast, Certified Sex Addiction Therapist. He and I discuss how big this problem is and the wide variety of...

Sex addiction sucks because it's the one you’re not allowed to have. You can struggle with most every other problem… but not this problem. Compassion will be hard to come by given the trauma you will cause your wife and family. Society has its view of what a “sex addict” is. A pervert, a freak, a weirdo, someone who is unsafe to have around kids, etc. And, there certainly can be career consequence...

Sarah Morales is the founder of Deconstructing Gaslighting. In this episode, we define gaslighting. What it is, what it isn’t, and what to do about it. Sex addicts often gaslight their partners before, during, and after discovery. Recovering from this form of deception can be very challenging for betrayed partners, especially in the midst of betrayal trauma. In this episode, Sarah and I deconstruc...

It's a common assumption… “Roland, don't you think that these men need to hang out with men who are NOT like them? Don’t you think this adds to their ego and narcissistic traits?” No… I strongly disagree. In fact, the fastest way for them to get over their superiority complex, grandiosity, and narcissistic traits is to be around men who are struggling in the same way. Yes, these traits are largely...

This episode is much different than anything I’ve done. It’s a personal story of the pain that sex addiction can bring to a family. Kendra agreed to share her story with my audience. As you will clearly hear in her voice, sharing this was not easy for her. Sex addiction and betrayal trauma are more than just mental health diagnoses… these are people's lives that are being affected. Kendra shared h...

Successful men with a sex addiction often get criticized for their entitlement, grandiosity, or their superiority complex. But, where do these traits come from? I’ll be the first to admit that my sex addiction stems from these traits. But, I wasn’t always that way. How did this happen to me? I have my theory. And, I present it in this podcast. I would love to hear your perception of WHY men are be...

When it comes to sex addiction… your “why” matters. It exposes the perceived value of the behavior that you’re chasing. In my opinion, you cannot be in good recovery until you understand what it is that you need to recover from. While this is called “sex addiction” and “porn addiction,”… it’s rarely about sex or porn. So, what is it about? Listen to this episode to find out what your brain wants....

Sobriety and recovery are two different things. Sobriety is needed before you can truly recover. But can sobriety alone take you the distance? Marnie Ferree is the founder of Bethesda Workshops in Nashville, Tennessee. She speaks to long-term recovery, both from personal and professional experience working with sex and porn addicts. In this episode, she and I discuss the ins and outs of long-term...

12-step meetings are designed to go through the 12 steps. They are not designed for connection. And, they are not therapy. Sex addiction is incredibly different from guy to guy. There is no one-size-fits-all approach. If 12-step meetings are not resonating with you, you need to find something that does. Many high-achieving men struggle with 12-step groups. They find them inefficient, lacking struc...

Yes, there’s the sex addiction, the compulsive sexual behavior, and… there’s the lying. Deceptive sexuality needs to be addressed in addition to your sex/porn addiction. Cheryl Camarillo and I attended training together at The Institute of Sexual Health for Deceptive Sexuality and Trauma Treatment for infidelity and compulsive sexual behavior disorders. Both of us work with high-achieving men and...

Have some unwanted sexual behaviors stopped, while others keep nagging at you? Is it possible you’re missing the reason why you act out? What if you’re using the wrong sex addiction treatment strategies? What if each acting-out behavior has a different cause? In this episode, I explore how pornography, affairs, and paid sex can have different causes. And, if so, you’ll need different treatment str...

Sex and Porn Addiction recovery is complex and multifaceted. Add the betrayed partner's experience, and you have an even more challenging situation. Jeanne Vattuone and Tim Stein wrote a book called Finding the Way Through. This workbook is designed to integrate sobriety, recovery, and betrayed partner sensitivity. In this interview, we discuss the nuances of personal and relational recovery. You...

While 12-step was never really my thing… One thing I did take from it was the 3-circle sobriety plan. Sex addiction is an interesting addiction because the definition of sobriety changes from person to person. But one thing I really like about the “3-circle” idea was that it focuses more on recovery and prevention rather than just sobriety. In this episode, I share my personal 3-circle sobriety pl...

It’s unanimously agreed (and the research supports it) that peer support and connection with other addicts is the best treatment strategy for sex addiction. It's PEER support… Not just going to meetings. You need to be surrounded by men who you believe are your peers. It’s connection… Not just sharing when it's your turn to share. Connection involves relatability, common interests, and feeling lik...

Is your recovery group actually a recovery group? Is the group too big? Are you getting individualized feedback? Do you enjoy your time with your group and look forward to the meeting? Just because you are going to a group or a meeting doesn’t mean it’s working. In this episode, I discuss the point of peer support and what it should be doing for you. You should feel yourself recovering when you le...

Even the best communicators will be challenged when recovering from sexual betrayal. Fear, anger, resentment, injustice, a lack of trust… This is not a great container for grounded conversation. But this is reality, and you’re going to need to learn how to navigate it as a couple. Too often, couples recovering from infidelity heal in isolation but fight together. The problem is that healing happen...