The Leaves of a Victim never more with Steven Wilson

In this episode, I read from Dostoevsky notes from the underground. Can a sick society produce anything but sick people? can a broke machine produce anything but broken product? In group, there have been many discussions about the political from the United States of America and the failure of the politician, as well as the failure of the American voter. Many of the guys in the group had theories a...

In this episode, I begin, what could be a series about Jeffrey Epstein in about child, rape and child molestation.  Many of you know that the podcast itself is based on my experiences, and being a adult survivor of childhood sex abuse, and the time that I spent in group therapy with other men that have suffered the same experience. in this episode, I deal with Jeffery epstein and the American judi...

This final episode of 2025 deals with the topic of stigma, which I have covered in the past.  The reading from this goes from Irving goffman in his book stigma notes on the management of spoiled identity. more specifically the topic of this is really based on one of the guys in the group front. He’s a new guy and he was suffering from agoraphobia and I’ve been working on it for about two years in...

In this episode, I begin with reading from the Marquis de Sade, The dialogue between a priest and a dying man. This episode again is taking a little bit from group therapy and the discussions about the perceptions of being good or being bad and being punished based on the idea of Santa Claus, but then I started bringing up in the group the idea about Krampus. Krampus is half goat half man all demo...

This episode is about the death of my grandmother, and what I’ve been going through. I read from Isaac Asimov the universe from flat earth quasar. In my own self analysis in my own group therapy, I started to deal with the loss of family and equated the cemetery and the uniformity that you find in the celestial planets in orbit around the sun that make up our galaxy in the universe.

Two birthday or not to birthday, that is the question. In this episode, I spoke about my grandma’s illness and how it’s affecting my birthday this year.  I’m also dealing with the task of purchasing my mother’s head stone as it has been long enough for the dirt to settle and I believe it is time. this episode I read from HP Lovecraft, the outsider.just the beginning.

In this episode, I talk about a group session that I had in the topic came up of hobbies. One of the hobbies I brought up was leather craft, and the conversation turned a little bit sinister, because of the perception that it carries with it, and a few of the guys in the group decided to chime in and tell me what they thought of me through leathercraft. I read from a notebook that I bought at anot...

Today’s episode is based on another group session that we spent talking about birthdays, and how we spent birthdays. It started out talking about our best birthday in the month. I’m talking about our worst birthday. today’s reading comes from Albert Camus “The Stranger”. In this episode, I talk about the correlation between megalomania and narcissism of an American president and the idea that birt...

Today’s episode deals with my first Mother’s Day after my mother’s passing last October.  Unlike other past episodes, this one really doesn’t deal with Group Therapy. This is just something that I went through. Today’s reading is taken from some poems that I read from Robert frost. One of the poems is one of the poems that I read the first time the night that I got raped for the first time by the...

In this episode, I discussed the group therapy session that was before Easter, and about the concept of murder them, but only for the survival of sex abuse, but also the survivor of addiction. Today’s reading was taken from a poem by Walt Whitman entitled “to him that was crucified”. I start off by with a group to find from Webster’s is the term of martyr.  I didn’t move into the different kinds o...

This episode, is it getting taken from the group therapy session with the topic was seeing a psychiatrist or seeing a nurse practitioner through a television. Some of the guys in the group didn’t like it bothers liked it without a human being physically in the room.  Decision also involved you guys talking about the hierarchy between group therapy and individual one on one therapy. This podcast se...

This episode is based on more group therapy sessions in which the group diagnosed American voters.   This is a reference to the phenomena of trans placement wherein a patient believes they themselves are a doctor or therapist. This is due to the expertise afforded patients the total time in therapy. This reading is from Emma gold man’s “minorities vs majorities.

My mother passed away.  This episode I talk about the cycle of life, funerals, being missed, being remembered, and the role of children. My mother wore the chain she forged in life, and pressed it upon me.  I feel a sense of relief for her passing.  Her birthday approaches and I feel nothing. I read again from Poe. The cycle of life repeats.  My turn to die is in play.

This episodes deals with the election for president as politic entered group therapy recently. I read from Anarchism and other essays by Emma Goldman.  The article is entitled “patriotism: a menace to liberty. The real separation of human is based on wealth: rich vs poor. I call for a national divorce between American and politicians.

In this episode I discuss a new member to the group who was diagnosed with co curing and has decided to do both, group therapy and NA.  I read from my copy of the narcotics anonymous blue specifically on recovery and relapse. My opinion of therapy methodologies is just that , my opinion. I support whatever works for you.  NA didn’t work for me. Life is not a group effort Treatment becomes our new...

This episode is about a therapy session topic again; Memorial Day weekend. We spoke of life as war metaphor, the difference between surviving and victim.  There is also mention of the current state of conflict around the world, and the purpose of remembering those that died fighting. I read from Robert Bloch “material instinct”, part 2. Prepare for it and remember.  Party this weekend and be grate...

This episode deals with a few therapy sessions and the topic of patience. I deal with patience itself and the origins of the frustration they comes with someone telling you to relax or calm down. I talk about horror movies in the 80s. Good times.

This episode is really about the last month or so and my battle with serious illness. Influenza A Pneumonia  Sepsis blood infection I read from Lovecraft story Herbest West reanimator. I know it is not a standard episode but what the hell… I survived.

This episode is another based on group therapy and what I’m dealing with my mother being in a nursing home.  These are observations I have made for my mother as well as the other residents of the home. The reading is Whitmans “Thanks or old age” I also use the bill Murray film Groundhog Day to express the similarities between repetition and seeing your life from point of old age.

Today’s episode is an update on my life dealing with my mom in a nursing home.  I went to group therapy and told them what I feeling.  They told me I was angry because my own life had disappeared.  I don’t agree. The reading is HP Lovecraft’s “Dagon”.  I chose it for obvious reasons. If you are a victim of rape like me or any kind of abuse you can always reach out to me and talk.  I’m here to list...

Respect vs Rules In this episode my topic is based on my experiences with my mom’s nursing home and all the paperwork involved with her care. I talk about the nucleus of medica in America: who’s gonna pay this bill? I read from Irving Goffman’s “Asylums”.  I focus on the binary deviations of organizational structure and function.  These revolve around the private vs public, as well as, the individ...

Ray Bradbury once called people “books just walking around”.  Well, I believe people are time machines too. This episode I continue documenting my life as I transition my mother to nursing care.  I talk about packing her stuff and it ending up in storage.  I talk about her sadness turning to anger at her aging goes natural, but wrong according to her reality. I read Mending wall by Robert frost 

Today’s episode is based on recent events involving my mother and her falling.  She had been living on her own and fell.  Luckily the pharmacy was delivering her meds and found her.  No one knows for sure how long she was out. I look at the past week and how it is going being her son.  Am I a good son? I read the funeral poem by Mary Frye, do not stand at my grave and weep. There is no reference t...

Today’s episode is based on holidays and their meaning within the framework of the celebration itself. I take some the analysis from our group session. I read “Nature” from Longfellow. I think it is a great poem on death. What is Halloween?  Christian or Gaelic or other? What is it to be religious in todays world? Of celebration of the dead?

This episode is about reflective morality.  I read from the book, The moral life by John Dewey. Ethics is defined as the science of conduct within the ranges of good/bad or good/evil. I discuss my metaphor for ethics: driving an automobile. I also discuss Bentham and the concept within Philosophy of law :legal positivism.  I talk about the justice/revenge paradigm as well as topics of conformity a...