The Evolved Caveman: Stress, Relationships, and Emotional Mastery for Men

I get approached by a number of “dating coaches” for interviews on The Evolved Caveman. So far, I’ve turned them all down as I find their material either manipulative, inauthentic, damaging to women, or simply ridiculous (think, peacocking). When I was introduced to Connell, I had a totally different experience. Everything he said, I agreed with. It was no bullshit, effective, authentic dating adv...

Boys learn a certain set of rules in terms of what it means to be a man from friends, peers, coaches, movies, music and social media. These rules include ideas such as be stoic, be tough, be self-reliant, don’t act gay and don’t act feminine. This process starts in kindergarten and continues beyond high school. These rules make up the Man Box. These rules are so deeply engrained in us, it is hard...

Parenting - it’s a frustrating, challenging, meaning-filled, anger-inducing, button-pushing, joyful, keeps-you-on-your-toes kind of an activity. In one day of my parenting career, I had the nanny crash my car, my one-year-old daughter had a febrile seizure and my youngest son got into a locked medicine cabinet and drank a bottle of Benadryl. It’s rough. Join me in this lively conversation with Dr....

Human beings have 4 basic needs — air, water, food and shelter. Food and shelter have long been commodities. Water is joining the list with the wealthiest people in the world acquiring underground water rights to ensure they have water to drink for their family. What happens when air becomes a commodity as well?  This idea didn’t strike me until California was besieged by forest fires on an annual...

Recently, I was introduced to the idea of the ticker tape that runs continuously through the minds of women. Womens’ ticker tapes contain every detail for work, home, spouse and children, including food shopping, meal planning, school deadlines, school projects, soccer practice schedules, game schedules, chores, and on and on. So well intentioned husbands ask “Honey, what can I do to help you out?...

If you are in a relationship, or want to be, you would do well to listen to this episode – a revealing, honest and evolutionary conversation about the top ways to be better in relationship. How can you be a better boyfriend? How can you be a better husband? How can you be a better wife or girlfriend? How can you be happy and fulfilled in your marriage? In your relationship? Love is not enough. The...

As a child, Jeffrey Davis became focused on paying attention to life and ensuring that he’d always maintain a connection to his imagination which led him to become a poet, a teacher, an author and then…his life collapsed. As with most men, he’d been living entirely “from the neck up,” largely disconnected from his heart. That awakening launched a lifelong quest to rediscover a deeper, more soulful...

A revealing and enthralling convo with Men’s Coach, Relationship Coach and new author, Stef Sifandos. When I found out that Stef is Johnny Elsasser’s mentor, I had to find out more. What was Stef teaching that drew a former special ops warrior to evolve towards full spectrum masculinity?  In Stef’s own words,  as a kid, “I was bullied and picked on. I was growing and so was my own rage – the bulli...

So, people have been clamoring for Joree and I to do more joint podcasts, so here you go! An in depth, revealing talk about how to date after divorce – what to avoid, what to do, how to talk, what to do for a first date, and much more! If you want to learn more about dating in mid-life, you HAVE to hear this one. It’s a monster!  Some of the areas covered… Have fun - Don’t put so much pressure on...

Join Dr. John in an amazing conversation with Johnny Elsasser, former Army Ranger, who served 4 combat tours between Iraq & Afghanistan & another 5 years protecting the U.S. Ambassador to Iraq in Baghdad.  Topics covered: What are the main struggles you hear from men today? What does the evolution of masculinity look like? How can men begin to remove their mask to embrace authenticity? How...

The majority of our adult hours are spent in the workplace. What is one of the biggest contributors to unhappiness and dissatisfaction at work? Coworkers! The main reason employees leave a job is the degree of jerkiness of their supervisor. What’s more, coworkers might have a touch of narcissism, or emotional volatility or anger or dishonesty. Any of these lead to a more stressful and conflict-lad...

Eli Weinstein is a knowledgeable, emotionally aware therapist in NYC. What happens when he becomes a father and has a panic attack a month into fatherhood?  How does a therapist deal with such tough emotions?  What are typical emotions for a newbie father? Depression? Anger? Fear? Insecurity? Doubt? Pride? Excitement?  To what extent does a man feel love immediately for his newborn child as compar...

Why is it that some people bounce forward after being struck by tragedy, while others get destroyed by mere inconveniences? The difference is resiliency and it can make the difference between happiness and misery, between success and mediocrity.    Join Dr. John in Part 2 of this solo cast to find out the 6 additional traits possessed by the highly resilient – POWs who emerged from 6 years of impr...

How To Be More Resilient Why is it that some people bounce forward after being struck by life’s most difficult problems, while others get stuck? Problems, traumas, challenges, pain. Life guarantees them all. The real question is how quickly do you recover when faced with life’s difficulties. Whether we are talking about small scale set-backs, or life threatening situations, some people are quick t...

Disagreements. Arguments. Misunderstandings. Regrettable incidents. All of these come up in relationship. They are inevitable. We see the world differently from one another. Even with the best of intentions, we will disappoint and hurt our partners. So what separates the happy, fulfilled couples from those headed towards break up? One of the key skills is mastering the repair attempt. Discover bot...

How do you create more joy and meaning at work? Isn’t that the ultimate goal - to have a job that doesn’t feel like work ?! Wouldn’t it be great to have more freedom and choice in your work?  Tune in to this conversation with Matt Ward, author of The High 5 Effect: How To Do Business With People Who Bring You Joy and discover the best ways to craft your job to bring in more joy, happiness and fulf...

Men are taught to provide for the family. In general, this is a great value. Sometimes, we can take it too far, forsaking those we love for work. Resentment and disconnection arise in our spouses and children. Listen in as Dr. John discusses the ease with which we can become addicted to the pursuit of achievement and success, the impact it can have on our relationships, and what to do about it.  T...

Men don’t often share their innermost relationship concerns in public, or even with friends. Men don’t sit around complaining to their friends about their relationships and asking for potential solutions.  So what do men really think about their relationships? The real stuff comes out in therapy in an attempt to save their marriage. That’s where the rubber hits the road. So here are the top compla...

As a mental health worker, behind closed doors, speaking with couples, sometimes in a last ditch effort to save a marriage, I have heard the real complaints from women about their men over the pst 25 years.    So, for any woman listening, see if these complaints mirror your own. And, for any man listening, discover how to have a happy and thriving relationship, or to simply hold onto your marriage...

As a mental health worker, behind closed doors, speaking with couples, sometimes in a last ditch effort to save a marriage, I have heard the real complaints from women about their men over the pst 25 years.    So, for any woman listening, see if these complaints mirror your own. And, for any man listening, discover how to have a happy and thriving relationship, or to simply hold onto your marriage...

Paradoxes are all around us. Carl Jung said “The paradox is one of our most valuable spiritual possessions. Only the paradox comes anywhere near comprehending the fullness of life”. It is the ampersand- the AND rather than the OR. And most of us take the mental shortcut, the cognitive error of simplifying life into ORs. This or that. Republican or Democrat. Right or wrong. Black or white. This is...

Dr. John on languishing on The Evolved Caveman Podcast Most of us are feeling frequently “bleh” lately. It’s an epidemic. This feeling of bleh is known as languishing. And it pays to know about it. So you can get out of it more quickly. Languishing is defined as to lose or lack vitality; grow weak or feeble; or suffer from being forced to remain in an unpleasant place or situation. It’s not that w...

Sean Lake’s childhood friend, Glen “BUB” Doherty, became a Navy SEAL and gave his life for our country in Benghazi, Libya. Listen in on how Sean turned that heart break into a meaningful legacy honoring his best friend. Topics included in this revealing interview: How to get your fitness groove back in your 40s and 50s.  The importance of mindsets for optimal performance in sports and business. Th...

**Want Better Sex? Then Stop Acting Like You Know It All — w/ Sex Researcher Melanie Curtin** Gentlemen, listen up: If you think you’ve already got sex figured out, this episode will lovingly (and thoroughly) prove you wrong. In this no-holds-barred conversation, Dr. John sits down with the brilliant and bold Melanie Curtin — sex researcher, men’s coach, and total badass — to reveal what *over 5,0...

Ever been angry doing a pro football game? Ever yelled at the TV while watching your favorite team due to a bad call? A stupid penalty?    Why do we care about our team so damn much?   Since the age of 6, when Gene Upshaw gave him a gift of a team autographed Raiders helmet, Dr. John has been an avid Raiders fan.   But what exactly is he loyal to? A player? A team? A logo? A city? Memories?   And...