The Evolved Caveman: Stress, Relationships, and Emotional Mastery for Men

How Men Can Create Friendships As Adults (a.k.a. The Epidemic Of Male Loneliness) I have seen an epidemic of male loneliness in my clients over the past decade. This observation is borne out by research. Men are socialized to be self-reliant, to fear intimacy, to be stoic, and to be tough. This leads to a loss of friendships as we age for most men. Other factors entering into this epidemic include...

Consilience is one of my favorite ideas. It is the notion that when evidence from different, unrelated sources converge on the same conclusion, this convergence provides strong conclusions, and, ultimately, foundational revelations into the underlying fabric of reality.  Ideally, conclusions from geology should confirm those found in chemistry, for example. So what happens when findings from psych...

What does a retired Catholic nun, working on a Ph. D. in Formative Spirituality, who is a fan of quantum physics, have to say about the state of world religions? One of the most fascinating and compelling conversations that Dr. John had in a terrific year of interviews!  Topics covered: How does anger fit into Christianity? What about forgiveness? To what extent do we need the ability to forgive G...

The rules of being a man are rough. Be stoic. Be self-reliant. Provide for the family. Don’t show pain. Don’t ask for help. And so on.  The expectations for being a man are virtually impossible to fulfill. Be tough. Don’t feel. Don’t show emotion. And, simultaneously, romantic partners want men to be communicative, sympathetic, emotionally aware, empathetic, a good listener and supportive.  The de...

Join Dr. John in an exploration of alternative therapies, such as Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), in an attempt to look at new ways to heal trauma and troubling memories. NLP has had a mixed history with regards to finding an empirical basis in controlled trials and in the 1990s, many psychotherapists lost interest in it due to a lack of scientific evidence. It has been labeled everything from...

Most of what men learn about sex comes from two sources - friends and porn. And we don’t talk to our friends much about such intimate topics. So the biggest educator of how to have sex is porn. Not a great idea as we learn from videos manufactured to match our fantasies. Yet, real mind-blowing, deeply connected sex bears little resemblance to the fantasy world of porn. So how do we learn how to ma...

In the midst of a pandemic, a potential recession, layoffs, inflation, and a myriad of personal problems, how do you find personal fulfillment, happiness and meaning? Tune in to Dr. John’s interview with author, Lloyd Roberts, to find out! Topics Covered: How to reprogram your unconscious mind to align it with your dreams & aspirations? What is the 7-step process to increase your levels of gra...

Wow! This interview far exceeded all our expectations. The clarity with which Christopher Maher describes what is impacting men and how they can evolve beyond it is absolutely breath-taking. If you only tune in to one episode this year, make it this one!  As Dr. John has evolved in his own life, he has focused on the physical, mental and emotional. To a lesser extent, he has developed the spiritua...

The Man Box allows men to have three emotions which may be displayed in public without fear of humiliation: lust, stress, and anger.  After working with men for 25 years, Dr. John has seen anger be the go to emotion for most men. Anger hides other emotions such as fear, embarrassment, guilt, shame, anxiety, depression and more. Anger causes us to blame everyone else for the current situation (e.g....

“I don’t feel much at all.” “I’m good.”  “I’m alright.” “I’m fine.”  “I really don’t feel much one way or the other.”  The typical man is deeply disconnected from his emotions, and it’s entirely by design. It’s a desirable skill growing up in the Man Box Culture where you risk humiliation for showing your feelings. And yet, once men get into relationship, this same defense mechanism destroys intim...

“You can’t take your company with you when you die, so why let it put you in the grave.” How do we balance everything? How do you balance excellence at work, supporting the family, becoming better in your relationship, AND being happy? Join Dr. John for an unusual and insightful interview with Michael Pedersen, author and entrepreneur. Topics covered include: How do you keep from working yourself...

Men’s shame often finds its birthplace in the man box — the rules that we learn about how to be a “real man.” Things like…Don’t be a sissy. Don’t back down. Don’t ask for help. Don’t lose. Don’t be gay. Don’t act like a girl. And …don’t feel.  And therein lies the root of shame for many. The problem is that along with being men, we are also human. And one of the primary things humans do is feel. ...

The Man Box - the rules about what it means to be a “real man” that we learn from society as we grow up. When you ask 1000’s of male teenagers the simple question, “What does it take to be a ‘real man’?” you will get very similar answers.  These answers sound like,  Provide for the family.  Don’t be a sissy. Don’t back down. Don’t ask for help. Don’t turn down sex.  Don’t have needs. Don’t lose. D...

Online porn is available to all. For free. In your pocket. On your phone. Kids access it at school in the bathroom. Many teen guys prefer porn over the discomfort of asking girls out on dates. Adult males wreck careers and marriages over the addictive need for more and more. Porn usage is at epidemic levels. Why? What’s going on here? Some topics covered: Is there a safe frequency with which you c...

The old, rigid, top-down, command & control, fear-based leadership model cannot rise to meet the current moment. It inhibits innovation, stifles inclusion, and isolates leaders, often leaving them overwhelmed, demoralized - at risk for business failure, broken relationships, and ill heath.  There is a new, different kind of leadership, tapped into a more resilient, sustainable kind of strength...

Wow! This one is critically important! As soon as I got wind of Monica Guzman and her efforts to depolarize America, I knew I had to speak to her. Monica is Director of Storytelling at Braver Angels - the largest cross-partisan organization seeking to build bridges across the political aisles. She is also the author of I Never Thought of It That Way: How To Have Fearlessly Curious Conversations In...

Humanity has contended with the plague of COVID for over 2 1/2 years now. It has upended every aspect of our lives. Case in point, the rates of depression and anxiety have risen from 11-12% of the population (prior to COVID) to over 40% in the past couple years. Join this important conversation with esteemed guest, Dr. James Bramson, and Dr. John to unpack the proven ways that you can tap into mor...

At some level, all 7.3 billion people on this planet want the same thing — happiness. So why is happiness seemingly so elusive? What IS happiness? And how do we get more of it in our daily lives?  One tool for greater happiness is realistic optimism. This is done by changing your explanatory styles. In other words, learn to choose the interpretation of each situation in a way that serves you best....

A celebrity happiness coach?  WTF is THAT?  Is it real?  Is happiness even attainable? How do you go from suicidal to happy (most of the time, anyway)?! Listen in and find out! What are the most important tools you learn at a Master’s Program in Positive Psychology? How do you get past self-loathing? How do you deal with stress well? How do you feel less miserable? Can you chase your misery away b...

Joree and Dr. John discuss proven tools to strengthen your romantic relationships, using a tragic story of John losing the use of an eye (and later healing it!). —-  Dr. John shares the work he has done over the past 10 years, beginning with losing the use of his right eye due to a skirmish with his teen-aged, drug-addicted son. The work that he did truly set the foundation and possibility of an a...

A very important conversation about research-based ways to integrate traditional and complimentary treatment approaches (e.g., acupuncture, meditation, cleaning up one’s environment of toxins, etc.). Dr. Gary’s approach dovetails with Dr. John’s 100% in that it is all based on science — research studies. A large part of this is how low oxygen levels, put the brain into panic mode which triggers th...

The field of healthcare is moving increasingly in the direction of viewing people holistically, taking into account physical, emotional, relational, spiritual, nutrition, exercise and more. With concepts such as integrative medicine, holistic medicine, somatic body work, healthcare is investing more and more prolonging our “healthspan”. This is the length of time that we live a healthy, functional...

How do we learn to thrive? Individually? In relationship? What does self-care have to do with thriving? What the hell is self-care anyway?  And how do relationships impact our ability to thrive? How important is it for us to learn to RECEIVE love as well as GIVE love? Which are you better at? And how do learn how to better receive love? Why does this matter? How does the “default” state of mind (o...

The Man Box Is A Prison — And It's Wrecking Our Lives. Most men get shoved into this invisible cage around age 4 or 5. It starts on the playground, in locker rooms, on sports fields — anywhere boys gather. A silent set of rules gets passed down like gospel. No one says them out loud, but everyone knows them. And if you break the rules? You’re out. Ostracized. Mocked. The Man Box rules go something...

This is part 2 of my interview with Connell Barrett, author and respected (by me!) dating coach. Connell offers no BS, authentic dating advice for those looking for a relationship in the #MeToo era. Discover more gems on HOW best to date in today’s complicated world of sex, love and boundaries. Topics Covered: What are the best online dating sites for finding a relationship? For hook ups? What are...