Surviving BPD Relationship Breakups

Losing Yourself Trying to Nurture and Aid a Borderline? In a response to a Codependent commenter on a video I did about Borderlines Lying and  manipulation whether it is on purpose, calcuulated or not - it is what it is, this  person who left a semi=hostile but Codependent denying comment thought that it should be possible for partners, Ex's or friends of someone with BPD to nurture them and aid t...

BPD Quiet Discouraged Subtype Specific Traits and Shocking Discards The quiet Borderline subtype known and described as the Discouraged Borderline. A look at this presentation and manifestation of Borderline Personality Disorder. The specific Quiet BPD subtype traits are discussed as well as the reasons why a Discouraged Borderline's shocking discard is one of the most painful relationship endings...

Salacious BPD Women Are Not Dreams But Relationship Nightmares Every person with Borderline Personality, their lives matter and are worth living. But in response to an objectified erroneous and pathological veneration of Borderline Women that goes way too far via his perspective as a malignant narcissist. Some of his video "Borderline's Life is Worth Living Technicolor Adventure" is in some aspect...

BPD Breakup Obsession & Codependent Excuses Waiting to Be Rescued By Who? Please note: At two points in this (passionate) episode I mention being very fed up with many of the  excuses like the commenter I respond to in this episode. I am referring to being fed up with people on social media, denying their Codependency and making excuses - I am very patient and not ever fed up at all with worki...

Borderlines Can’t Find Love Or Love You From Your Perspective - Borderlines Don't Take Your Identity or Self or Mental Image and then find love from that perspective Borderlines can't find love or feel love for you from your perspective, or mental image or somehow by "taking" your identity or self from you to see your perspective at all. Too many people with Codependency believe this because you r...

Petulant BPD Rage Uses You and The Why Insight of a Recovered Borderline Petulant Borderlines use you when they rage at you. A borderline rage does make them feel better at your expense. They are often not aware of what is happening for your or how you are affected by them. Self-awareness deficits in untreated BPD mean that Borderlines are too engulfed and absorbed with their own dysregulated feel...

Borderline Splitting Cycles Mixed With Codependent Denial Borderline splitting cycles mixed with Codependent denial fuel the betrayal bonded dynamics of cognitive dissoncance, falsely believing and defending that a BPD partner or BPD Ex "loves" you. Denial of one's own Codependency is often a conscious and unconscious driver of people continuing to pursue the fantasy of BPD Relationship "love". Un...

Recontacting Your BPD Ex (Reverse Hoovering) Increases Your Suffering Recontacting your BPD Ex is reverse hoovering and it increases Codependents suffering. Many people with Codependency are still in denial of the reverse hoovering responsibility that they have. No matter how the relationship "ended" or if it is on/off and/or being recycle, recontacting a borderline or still in communication incre...

Borderlines Don't Value You in Dating or Relationships Borderlines don't value you in dating or relationships because they are insatiable and have failed at "othering". People with BPD are very (lack of) self-focused and emotionally only aware of their feelings, wants that they mix up with needs. Borderlines don't value you because emotionally they are actually not relating to you, for who you rea...

Loving a Borderline & Why You Will Never Know Who He or She Is or Was Loving a borderline woman or man it is a high percentage of people in all relationship types who really will never know who that person with BPD in your life, or was in your life, is. Loving a borderline is loving someone you really don't know. It's loving someone for who you thought they were in the beginning and for who yo...

BPD Discard & Dangle Fantasy Facade At The End Like the Beginning Many with BPD when they discard you with or without actually saying so dangle the fantasy facade at the end like they did in the beginning. They want you to believe they are going to be the person you thought they were in the beginning, at the end, as they monkey-branch or quickly go to the next person. This is (often unconsciou...

BPD Breakup & Codependent Woundedness Vulnerability is a Strength After Healing After a BPD Breakup, ghosting and/or discard getting into your own healing and recovery journey focusing on yourself - not the Borderline Ex - healing your Codependency and becoming a bounded, empowered, independent person means your vulnerability will be a strength, not a weakness. In response to a comment on a sh...

Responding to Borderline Ex Only When Contacted or Hoovered is NOT No Contact Are you an Ex of someone suspected of having BPD or someone you know has BPD? Whether you know the relationship is over or not are you trying to not initiate contact first? Are you a stance now of only responding to contact (hoovers) from your Ex and thinking that means you have gone *no contact*? You are not in full no...

BPD Deceptive Hoovers & BPD Ex's Self Deceptive Reverse Hoovers BPD deceptive hoovers are what hoovers are, deceptive. BPD Ex's reverse hoovers are often self-deceptive. BPD hoovers or Ex's reverse hoovers only lead to more of the same - try again, nothing changes, no re-idealization or honeymoon phase and as the BPD betrayal bond cycles repeat over and over you keep end up being in that same...

Riding the Chaotic Rollercoaster of a Borderline? Core Secret Understanding You Need To Know If you are riding the chaotic rollercoaster of a Borderline, there is a secret understanding that you need to know. Many resist this understanding that is your own healthy way forward toward no contact and finding your own healing, closure and the reasons and lessons of what you have gone through and why y...

Definition and 5 Signs of a Trauma Bond with a Borderline or Narcissist Definition and 5 Signs of a Trauma Bond with a Borderline or a Narcissist that every Codependent partner, on/off relationship recycling, or Ex of a person with BPD or NPD needs to know. People in relationships with a person with BPD or NPD are in trauma bonded relationships that are not healthy. People in these relationships d...

The Borderline Set Up Hoover The Borderline set up hoover is unlike any other type or generic "average" hoover. The Borderline set up hoover is one that is your BPD Ex plotting to punish you (especially the female borderline vs the male BPD Ex) by lying false accusations to get you arrested and put in jail. This is as serious as your BPD Ex can ever get. Not all with BPD will do this set up hoover...

LIMERENCE vs LOVE Obsessing on An Unavailable BPD Ex - Stop Relationship Recycling Go No Contac t A lot of people who can't stop BPD Relationship Recycling, ruminating about the BPD when you are their Ex have Limerence as well as Codependency. In this episode I explain the 3 Main stages of Limerence. The differences between Limerence nad Love. I also breakdown the 3 stages of Limerence and the neg...

Why Don't Borderlines Just Get It? Why don't borderlines just get it, how to have their own boundaries and understand their feelings even with iniial therapy can't they just get it? Are you falesly hopingwomeone in your life with untreated BPD just get it? What is it that you might not be getting? What do you still need to get? That you still need to undersand about BPD and your relationship recyc...

To Survive a BPD Breakup First Stop Relationship Recycling So many people are so stuck in the betrayal bonds that play out Codependent repetition compusions cycles in relationships with people with Borderline Personality Disorder to a point even way beyond self-abandonment, self-sacrifice, and losing yourself that emotionally it feels impossible to live with the Borderline or without the Borderlin...

BPD Silent Treatment vs BPD Ghosting A commenter on my Youtube channel asked if BPD silent treatment is the same as BPD ghosting or similar or are they different. Great question. For some people your person with (most often quiet) BPD may well have silent treatment patterns and this is the best way you can ascertain the difference between the silent treatment and BPD ghosting. I also talk about th...

Trauma Bonding With a Borderline - What Codependents Need To Know Betrayal or trauma bonding with someone with Borderline Personality Disorder is how these relationships between Borderlines and Codependents dysfunction. It's why they are so painful. It's why they are so hard to end. It's why so many can't do anything but continue to pursue getting the BPD Ex back. It's why they are relationship im...

BPD Idealization to Devaluation To Rumination & Ruination Get Off The BPD Rollercoaster BPD idealization is the beginning of the intense fast-paced relationship and it is also unconsciously for both the Borderline and the person dating or in love with this person, the start of the ending of all you believe you have found and can continue to build on. People in these relationships with (untreat...

Borderline and Codependent Dance of Impossible Connection Borderline and Codependent dance of impossible connection comes together from the wounded childhoods (to varying degrees) of both. People with BPD cannot connect from a lack of self. People with Codependency have learned to try to please and over-give to others to connect. It is the woundedness of each that creates the betrayal bonds - that...

Borderlines Want What (Who) They Want - Get It (You) Then Don't Want It (You) Anymore & Why this Is Borderlines want what (who) they want until they get what the want (or you) then they don't want what they wanted (you) anymore. This is about the lack of self in people with BPD and what they are unconsciously (mainly) really seeking in attempts at relationships and with attempts to "love" and...