Sideways

This week we're talking about the destructive nature of codependency and how it can keep everyone involved in a relationship with a codependent in an unhealthy place. There are not a lot of laughs on this topic so to lighten the mood we discover a Polish black metal band and learn that you can get fired for being annoying. https://www.grahamlandiwellbeing.co.uk/ https://grahamlandi.substack.c...

This week we're talking about how having people in your life who want to control everything can be incredibly irritating if reasonably harmless at one end of the spectrum but turn into something altogether more sinister, frightening and abusive at the other. Martin is grateful for strong glue, we examine the ways in which Brexit has deprived animals of sex, and I get into a bit of a batter ab...

This week we're talking about why we feel overwhelmed, what causes it, and what we can do about it. Martin comes up with a novel use for a yoga mat if you find that you don't like yoga after all, we go misty-eyed for pick & mix, and we talk about our own favourite "comfort TV". https://www.grahamlandiwellbeing.co.uk/ https://grahamlandi.substack.com/ You can email us at inf...

This week we're talking about how we propel ourselves towards what we want to achieve. Martin has a tale about ghosts in the toilet and discloses a lack of enthusiasm for marshmallows, while I lament the lack of fondue in my life. We both praise the undoubted qualities of a long-handled teaspoon. https://www.grahamlandiwellbeing.co.uk/ https://grahamlandi.substack.com/ You can email us at inf...

This week we're talking about motivation. What causes us to feel demotivated, how do we increase our motivation, and what is the difference between motivation and willpower? In an extraordinary turn of events we also find out that Martin does not own a juicer. https://www.grahamlandiwellbeing.co.uk/ https://grahamlandi.substack.com/ You can email us at info@grahamlandiwellbeing.co.uk Thanks a...

This week we're trying to help you through the dark days of midwinter by exploring the feeling of emptiness that often accompanies the days of January. We bemoan the winter virus we're both experiencing, reminisce about pet tortoises, find the son of God in the unlikeliest of places, and wonder who first had the idea of gifting apples to teachers. Happy New Year to all of our listeners....

This week Martin uses the well-known Christmas song as a thin veil for twelve benefits gained from sobriety. It's really quite uplifting. We wonder why Holst was never on Top Of The Pops, discuss the way in which Santa Claus gets into houses without chimneys, and disagree about the joys of the humble Brussels sprout. Wishing you a happy Christmas or whatever else you might be celebrating (or...

This week we're talking about how we change, why it's inevitable and how personality is not a fixed point.  Martin is concerned about some frogs but not as worried as Taylor Swift ought to be, we exchange stories of odd LPs we had in the house as we grew up, and argue about the merits of a bagel. https://www.grahamlandiwellbeing.co.uk/ https://grahamlandi.substack.com/ You can email us a...

If you've ever avoided talking about something that clearly needs talking about you will be failing to address the "elephant in the room" and we're determined not to in this episode. Martin tells us where the phrase comes from and what an epigram is. We hear about some Tibetan monks who got high on something other than their own inner peace, and we wonder what on earth Frank Za...

What factors contribute to feeling disrespected, overlooked, and undervalued?  This week we're looking at how we become marginalised and the part we can play in our own invisibility. After 147 episodes Martin picks up on the snooker connection and tells us about Bill Werbeniuk and his astonishing capacity for drinking lager. We also remember with great fondness the habit we had in the 70s and...

This week we're talking about why we hold grudges for so long, why it isn't good for us,  and what it takes to let go of them. Rod Stewart kicks a football into a fan's face, someone wants to marry an alien, and we discuss things we loaned out but never got back. https://www.grahamlandiwellbeing.co.uk/ https://grahamlandi.substack.com/ You can email us at info@grahamlandiwellbeing.c...

This week we're talking about how to differentiate between good and bad habits, and how to start or stop them when you want or need to. Martin experiences some software issues, we discover we both bore people to sleep, discuss at what point you have too much breakfast cereal, and find that neither of us has ever hugged a musician. https://www.grahamlandiwellbeing.co.uk/ https://grahamlandi.su...

This week we're talking about where that negative self-talk comes from and how to successfully tune out and stop listening to it. Martin is celebrating his 11th sobriety anniversary and he has a tale about a ghostly marriage.  We share contrasting memories of Bonfire Night and there's more than you'd expect related to the saxophone. https://www.grahamlandiwellbeing.co.uk/ https://gr...

This week we're talking about the benefits of being alone with your own thoughts and how we can make fewer mistakes and accelerate our personal growth by taking a proper look at ourselves, even when it's uncomfortable. Shrek shows up in a curry, I get sand in my sandwiches, we agree on the must-have items at a funeral, and there are tips for making better lists. https://www.grahamlandiwe...

This week we're talking about why we relentlessly deprioritise our own needs in favour of other people's, where such destructive behaviour comes from, and what we can do to change it. I am thankful for shelter from the rain, Martin visits a trippy art exhibition, and neither of us likes Chris De Burgh. https://www.grahamlandiwellbeing.co.uk/ https://grahamlandi.substack.com/ You can emai...

This week we're talking about why we find it hard to be assertive and how we can learn to get better at it. My virtual beret-wearing prompts a chat about scouting, you can learn how long it would take to get to the sun in a jumbo jet and what you could do while you travel, and Martin reveals his children's favourite of his lies. https://www.grahamlandiwellbeing.co.uk/ https://grahamlandi...

This week we're talking about the reasons we lie and how it can become a bit of a destructive habit. I need to know some more about clouds, Martin needs to talk about Nigel, and he gets a bit annoyed about another special day for celebrating beer. https://www.grahamlandiwellbeing.co.uk/ https://grahamlandi.substack.com/ You can email us at info@grahamlandiwellbeing.co.uk Thanks again for list...

This week we're talking about the frustration it can cause when we crave to be understood but other people seem unable or unwilling to do so. It's a problem acutely felt by recovering addicts so we try and throw some light on the subject in our usual ham-fisted way. There's also chat about farmer's markets,  Oktoberfest, foreign accent syndrome, and old-fashioned sweet shops. h...

We're back, and this week we're talking about loss and how it encompasses much more than just the pain of bereavement. We discuss losing physical objects, getting hit in the nuts with a ball, the merits of saying a prayer to St Anthony, and the perils of mini-roundabouts. https://www.grahamlandiwellbeing.co.uk/ https://grahamlandi.substack.com/ You can email us at info@grahamlandiwellbei...

As a prelude to the resumption of episodes on September 29th, we got together around the old creaky dining room table to chat about summer, towels, and what happens next. https://www.grahamlandiwellbeing.co.uk/ https://grahamlandi.substack.com/ You can email us at info@grahamlandiwellbeing.co.uk Thanks again for listening, we really appreciate it.

This week, as a precursor to our summer holiday, we are talking about the benefits of taking a break. We discuss what you have to gain from a little rest and recuperation as well as the dangers of ignoring the joys of a little downtime. Martin tells us about some drunk birds and we're both double grateful. See you in September. https://www.grahamlandiwellbeing.co.uk/ https://grahamlandi.subst...

This week we're talking about intrusive thoughts. Where they come from, why they tend to be so alarming, and what we can do to reduce their power. In addition, Martin gets dewy-eyed about swings, I moan about the length of school holidays, and there is gratitude in the shape of dogs chasing butterflies and punting. https://www.grahamlandiwellbeing.co.uk/ https://grahamlandi.substack.com/ You...

This week we're talking about why we tend to blow things out of proportion to our detriment and what we can do in order to try and avoid it. There are some other things too but I can't remember what any of them are because my wife has covid and I'm already three hours late posting this episode, so you'll just have to listen and find out. https://www.grahamlandiwellbeing.co.uk/...

This week we're talking about the judgements we make about situations and people without having any justification or knowledge to back it up. We explore why we do it and why we ought to try and stop it. Martin has another tale about dangerous animals, we upset the Duran Duran fans, can't stop talking about the weather, and pay homage to the humble chip shop. https://www.grahamlandiwellbe...

This week we're talking about the benefits, physical, mental, and emotional, of having a good cry. My lack of coffee causes us to reminisce about a time when Martin used to tease me about my asthma medication, we celebrate the passing of the jubilee without having had to attend a street party, and we get smug about the price of beer. https://www.grahamlandiwellbeing.co.uk/ https://grahamlandi...