Sex, Love & Elephants with Dr. Cheryl

“Dr. Cheryl, I have a wild sexual fantasy, should I share it with my partner?” “Dr. Cheryl, how can I explain my dark, lusty sexual energy to my sweetheart?” “Dr. Cheryl, sometimes I have crazy fantasies that I would never do in real life, does that mean I am somehow messed up?” These are all very real and very valid questions that I get all the time. Sometimes, even those of us who would consider...

If you're very young and foolish—or maybe you're old and foolish—falling in love early on might feel like your sweetheart understands you and can see inside your soul like no one has ever done before. Of course, some of this may be true. That’s why you feel such an intense bond. But love is a hard gig. You and your mate are not actually the same person, disagreements will happen, and they do not h...

When you are unhappy, why are you unhappy? Life would be a heck of a lot simpler if there was a go-to answer to that question, wouldn’t it? Generally, we’re unhappy when something in our lives isn’t going quite right. You might be in pain, you might be mourning a loss, you might be worrying about money or your career or your love life. But even that last one is a little tricky: When we're unhappy...

Picture it: a gorgeous, tanned man with huge, hulking muscles and long flowing hair clutches a beautiful waif wearing an artfully tattered dress… maybe they’re in front of a fire or in a picturesque field or sea side. There’s an obvious reason these types of books have an everlasting fan-base, but the fact is, relying on fantasy for your expectations of real life simply isn’t healthy—nor is it sus...

Do you know the saddest phrase in the English language? "Too late."  I speak with so many couples who are splitting up because, “The passion is gone,” “We just drifted apart… somehow,” “I love them but I’m not in love with them,” “We never make love,” or, “It’s just too late.” But here’s the thing: it’s not too late, and there are still many things you can do to recapture that spark.  For the past...

Remember when you and your sweetheart first met and a day spent apart felt like an eternity? Remember the electricity you’d feel whenever you thought about seeing them at the end of the day? That chill that you got when you’d get that sexy, anticipatory text from them? Even if we’re settled in a long relationship, even if we see each other every day, there’s still a way to bring that anticipation...

If you understand THIS ONE THING, it can radically improve your life. Don’t hang on to pain— it is in the past. Just Let Go. Here’s a story to illustrate that - One day, there were two monks walking a path. They came to a stream where there was a noblewoman looking to cross, but with no way of doing so. The monks were not allowed to touch a woman, yet the older monk picked the woman up and carried...

Sometimes our best laid plans and intentions go awry, not because of anything we’ve done, but through forces completely beyond our control. A meticulously planned holiday is disrupted by inclimate travel weather, a special occasion is ruined by a partner’s foul mood, a long-awaited trip is brought down by bad news from a friend… of course we’re left upset and disappointed. But have you ever notice...

Welcome to the first episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants of 2022. Today, I talk about how you can be happy, content, and filled with loving kindness and grace… even when things are incredibly difficult in your circumstances, financially, and emotionally.  Have you ever found yourself hedging your happiness on one tangible thing? It could’ve been something small, like a really beautiful outfit for...

In this episode, I’m talking about the dreaded Christmas hangover and the reason why so many of us suffer from it. I explain that the reason we feel it so strongly is because so many of us hedge our happiness on this one singular event, and I cover how we can use Buddhist elephant teachings to avoid that drizzly, gray, letdown feeling. For the month of December, I’ll be covering different topics t...

In this episode, I talk about sharing a fun, sexy, exciting holiday season with your lover and the ways my sweetheart and I have been celebrating together for almost a decade. This season, it’s important to remember that gifts don’t have to have a monetary value. Show your partner you care by being intentional and thoughtful and letting them know how much they matter to you. A happy, healthy relat...

Imagine you’re walking down the beach when you see a huge wave crash, the spray soaking your clothes. In the wave is a log bobbing desperately up and down, constantly swept back and forth in the undertow. At that moment, it seems like that wave represents the entirety of the sea. That rough, churning water feels intimidating and vast and even destructive. Now picture that same wave, but gracefully...

What defines a deep friendship to you? Is it someone you keep in touch with on a daily basis? Is it your spouse or partner who you trust with your deepest secrets? Maybe it’s that person you can go months without talking to and pick up exactly where you left off. Or it could be that friend who always knows the perfect way to show you love and support.  Today, I’m talking about friendship in all it...

It’s a gorgeous, warm spring day. You're sitting out on a beautiful deck in a comfortable chair, you've got a perfect glass of lemonade, and a fascinating book that you just can’t put down. You can’t imagine a more content scenario. And then, you hear it… the buzzing of a single mosquito. Your first reaction: “Ugh! Why is this  stupid mosquito ruining my perfect afternoon?” Just this tiny bit of w...

In episode 25 of Sex, Love, and Elephants, you’ll hear real couples ask the burning questions you’re dying to ask: “How can we learn to fight fair?” “We fight all the time, will we get divorced?” “I have very little sexual desire for my partner, how can I get it back?” You’ll also hear some testimonials from former students who have gone through my Become Passion program. Today, I’m sharing with y...

Today, I’m extending you an invitation to join me and a select small group of couples on an extraordinary, three-month-long journey into Becoming Passion. This is my signature Become Passion - Create Love That Lasts a Lifetime couples immersion program where I teach you live weekly for 10 weeks, and I also answer your questions, give you and your partner coaching, and provide extensive immersive v...

In today’s episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants, I’m going to give you a look inside my Passion Masterclass - a FREE couples workshop I do twice a year. It’s packed with information about the 3 Keys to Passion and much more. I also give you the opportunity to take the next steps in your relationship journey with me as your guide and Romance Cheerleader! (Yes, you can be both a hopeless romantic and...

No matter your age, you CAN have a great sex life. But it’s not going to happen without a little help. Tips, toys, tools and techniques - there are many methods to help you perform better, connect more fully, and have more and better sex with your sweetheart. At any age.  Have you been with your partner awhile and noticed that your sexual energy has… well, slowed down a little? Maybe you noticed i...

Do you and your partner have a loving, sweet relationship? One where you make their favorite white-bread-and-meatloaf sandwiches and they cuddle and caress you when you’re not feeling your best? The bills are paid, the kids are happy, the dogs are fed… but what about after the lights go out? Is there passion, lust, and desire? Or are you more of the spooning-in-front-of-the-tv type? Harsh truth ti...

Another birthday? Another anniversary? Another Valentine’s Day? The longer we’re with our partners, the more monotonous it can seem to engage in genuine celebration. But what if, instead of taking these mile markers for granted, we treat them as opportunities to acknowledge, love, and honor one another?  It turns out that, while those greeting card holidays can often inspire some serious eye-rolls...

Imagine I install a camera in your home and record everything you say to your partner for a week—would you be comfortable sharing that footage with your nearest and dearest? The good, the bad, and the ugly? Or would you be ashamed and embarrassed at how you speak and interact with your sweetheart, especially in times of anger or frustration? Human beings in relationships are going to have disagree...

This week, I’m continuing the story of my freaking difficult, painful, real spiritual path that led me to the (relatively) peaceful and far wiser place I am today. Again, I’m not special—absolutely anyone can learn to meditate. And it will suck at first! But once you get the hang of it and commit to following an enlightened path, you’ll be more able to quiet that jittering, caffeinated monkey mind...

Today, I’m back from a month-long silent meditation retreat. Now, I’m not special. Anyone can learn to meditate - even you... So to help you out, I’m pulling the curtain back and sharing with you the pain that brought me to the Buddhist path and how that led to the peaceful I am today.  Have you struggled with anxiety since adolescence—or even for what feels like your whole life? Do you ever feel...

You wouldn’t try to summit a mountain without a rope, carabiners, a heavy-duty pair of boots, and the proper training, right? So… why would you enter into a life-long commitment with a partner without the right tools and knowledge? Today’s show is the final episode of a four-part series on the Keys to Passion and how to be part of an exceptional couple. If you haven’t listened to the previous epis...

Don’t you just love falling in love? The butterflies, the goosebumps, the chills down your spine... and elsewhere! That feeling can be like lightning in a bottle—exciting as hell but almost impossible to capture and maintain.  In my years of practice with real couples, the most common complaint in long-term relationships is boredom. They love their honey, but they’re not in love with them anymore....