Sex for Saints

I'm speaking with therapist Jeff Lundgren, again, today about internal family systems. It's a therapeutic modality that he uses in his practice that I find fascinating. If you've ever seen the movie Inside Out, you've had an introduction to this type of therapy. So, in this episode, we talk about where the internal family systems came from, and most importantly, how it can help us in our sexual li...

At times in my coaching career, I've been asked by clients about the use of psychedelics in sex therapy. I know that this may be a controversial topic, but I think it's important to be given all of the information so you can make the decision for yourself. I am excited to have Jeff Lundgren on the podcast today to talk about it. This interview is fascinating! We talk about the history of psychedel...

Most of us will say that our marriage is our most important relationship.  Yet we often let things get in the way of making it great and our marriage gets put on the back burner.  Whether that is kids, work, hobbies, or church callings, we don't put enough into our relationship.  And that relationship is barely surviving instead of thriving.  And when our relationship suffers, often so does our se...

I think we all want to have an intimate marriage, but we often miss one important step in achieving that. To have an intimate marriage, we must understand and make room for both partners' wants and desires, without judgment or shame. But what I often see happening is that one partner thinks their wants and desires matter more than the other partner and they expect their partner to accommodate them...

Have you ever thought about how food can affect your sex life? That's what I'm discussing today with my guest and fellow life coach Lisa Salisbury. Thinking about what you put in your body and what you want from your body are important. But, let me be clear, we're not talking about counting calories or macros or anything like that. We're talking about listening to your body and knowing that if you...

Many women tell me that sex is boring for them, which is one of the reasons why they don't have a strong desire for it.  No one craves boredom.  We crave pleasure, excitement, novelty, and fun.  And if sex is boring, you are probably not having any of those things.  But one of the biggest reasons why women are bored is because they often aren't being an active participant. What does it mean to be...

The lack of sex education is a real issue in our country, so often people turn to pornography to learn about sex, which doesn't actually help our understanding of sex nor our relationships. In this episode, we're diving deep into the topic of pornography and its impact on our understanding of sex and relationships. We'll discuss why pornography isn't a great way to learn about sex, the misconcepti...

Orgasms are an amazing experience! For most people, they are the most powerful feeling of pleasure available here on Earth. While men have a recovery period after orgasm, women do not. In fact, having multiple orgasms is something that women can learn how to do. Intrigued? Listen to this podcast to learn 5 ways to overcome any barriers you may have and start experiencing multiple orgasms.

I often get asked by my clients what they can do if their spouse has had other sexual partners. While the reason behind this can vary, it often leaves the spouse who hasn't had any other partners feeling jealous, insecure, or even resentful. First of all, these feelings are totally natural, but let's talk about ways to address them and move forward in a healthy way. Join me as I share 7 ways to wo...

You've heard the old adage, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder," right? While that can be true, being apart from your spouse can really affect your intimacy. So in this episode, I want to give you 11 real life solutions on how to keep your sex life alive even when you're miles apart. No need to put that part of your life on hold while your spouse is away. You're going to especially love #9. 365...

Our overall wellness as women is so important for not just our lives, but also our sexual being. So today I'm talking with Holly Henry all about sexual wellness. She is a nurse practitioner who doesn't just look at the physical symptoms, but the hormonal and beyond to help you live your best life. This podcast is coming out today because we have a very exciting announcement to make! Listen in to f...

When I say "physical intimacy in marriage", what does that bring up? Usually it's sex. But intimacy is so much more than just sex. It's eye contact and hand holding. In this episode, we're going to explore what intimacy is, why it's important, why it sometimes declines, and how you can keep the flame alive. Or reignite it if it's gone dim. What level of intimacy do you and your spouse fall into mo...

I often get asked how to keep the flames of romance burning after you've been married a long time. So, that's what we're going to talk about today. How do you keep those flames burning and not get stuck in a roommate situation. I have 10 areas with specific examples in each of the ways that you can keep that romance alive and rejuvenated. Remember, love is a journey, not a destination. Stay commit...

Your brain is your biggest sex organ. Have you noticed what you're thinking about sex? In this episode, we're going to talk about the mind-body connection when it comes to sex. We're going to look into gaining sexual thought awareness and how those thoughts shape our most intimate experiences. By cultivating awareness around our sexual thoughts, we can open doors to more mindful and fulfilling exp...

In Come Follow Me this coming week, we read about Paul's sexual purity letter to the Corinthians. Because of this, I think it's a great time to not only talk to your kids about sex, but also talk to their teachers about how they will teach this lesson. We need to break the cycle of shaming our kids into not having sex. And that can start with you. Listen to this episode to learn about how to teach...

In the last episode, we spoke about erogenous zones. But if you are focusing solely on these areas without any warm-up or creating the right context for sex, you are missing out on a crucial piece - the importance of foreplay. In this episode, let's talk about what foreplay means and how important it is for both men and women to have an amazing sexual experience. It is the bridge that allows us to...

You may remember when Monica taught Chandler about erogenous zones on the TV show friends. (If you don't remember this iconic scene, the link is below) Chandler was surprised to learn that there were more than 3 erogenous zones. Are you surprised too? In this episode, we're going to talk about where the erogenous zones are and how best to stimulate them for enhanced pleasure and intimacy. Ready? L...

Wanting sex so you can feel closer to your spouse or because you want to connect with them is great. But sometimes, we start to seek validation through sex. When we're seeking validation through sex, we see it as our partner not loving us when we aren't having sex. We also feel rejected, which can cause a lot of hurt and anger. So, what can we do if we are starting to notice that we need sex to va...

I often hear from my clients that they feel guilty about certain sexual things. When we really look into it, I question whether they're feeling guilty, which to me means that they are doing something outside of their integrity, or are they internalizing someone else's emotions about the subject. So in this episode, we're going to talk about naming the emotion we're feeling and if it really is guil...

In this podcast, I'm talking with Crystal Haitsma about triggers. We hear the word all the time nowadays, but what does it really mean and how is it affecting our relationships? Listen in as Crystal and I define what triggers are and how self regulation can help us get over them. This is a great episode! Crystal, The Parenting Coach is a Certified Life Coach and Canadian homeschooling mother of 4....

So many women I've talked to have said that they don't have any desire to have sex anymore. It's just gone. Now, I've talked about desire a lot on this podcast, but today I want to talk to you about one thing that I haven't talked about before and it just may blow your mind. So, listen in while we talk about desire and how it's affecting your sex life.

Do you not like sex or do you just not like the sex that you're having? Oftentimes, we actually just don't like the sex that we're having. Listen to this teaser Embracing You podcast episode as I coach Quinn on how to make the sex that she is having more enjoyable so she can like it more.  Are you subscribed to my private podcast, Embracing You!? If not, you should be. Three times a month, you can...

Do you worry that you aren't sexually compatible with your spouse? I think truly being sexually incompatible is rare. But in this episode, we talk about those questions you may be having. What makes for sexual compatibility and what we can do to work on ourselves to make our relationships that much better? If you both are willing to look at yourselves and grow, ultimately you can have that honest...

One of the most common disagreements I hear from couples about sex are about emotional and physical intimacy and which goes first. In my mind, it looks a lot like a tug of war between the couple to show which is the right kind of intimacy for a marriage. It's time to drop the rope, and find a better way. Listen to this podcast to hear why we need to find a better way and how to do it.

When I was first married to my first husband, it felt like he ALWAYS wanted sex. If I showed him any affection at all, it had to lead to sex. I, like a lot of women, didn't want it to always mean I had to have sex. I missed what it was like when we were dating, when we could be affectionate and that's as far as it went. So, why does this pattern of expectation start and what can we do about it in...