Sex for Saints

How do I get my wife to develop her sexual self? That is probably one of the most common questions I get from husbands. This question makes the assumption that if I just say the right thing in the right way their eyes will be opened and all will be right in my world. But that is not usually the case. And what it actually ends up doing is creating more unhealthy pressure. So, how do you create heal...

In this episode, I'm speaking with Dr. Cami Hurst about her research into consenting to unwanted sex. This research is ground breaking in understanding why so many middle aged women have no libido. I am so happy to be able to share both what she found in her research and also what to do about it. Cami Hurst, LAMFT, is a sex and relationship therapist in Meridian, ID. Cami operates a private practi...

My clients often have transactional relationships with their spouses without even realizing it. In this episode, I want to explain what a transactional marriage is, why we don't want it and what we want instead. I was recently reminded that people often think of our relationship with our Heavenly Father as transactional when all He wants is a relationship with us. As we pattern our lives after our...

What is empowerment? More importantly, how can we be sexually empowered? In this episode, we're going to not only answer these questions, but also how to know if we are sexually empowered or if we're just seeking outside validation. Sexual empowerment feels differently for everyone which is why it's something we evaluate for ourselves rather than have someone else tell us. Listen to find out how t...

In this episode, I'm speaking with Joey Mascio. He is a fellow life coach and good friend who normally works with teens helping them become the hero of their own story. But today we're taking it a step further. A lot of what we think about ourselves comes from when we were teenagers. So we too need to find a way to become the heroes of our stories! Whether you were a teenager once or are raising a...

I'm excited to share with you a teaser for my new subscription podcast, Embracing You. In this Embracing You episode, I talk to Emily about how shame is affecting her sex life. We discuss where this shame comes from and some ways to get over it. Sexual shame is something I see a lot in my clients, especially in our conservative Christian culture, even though we don't always see it as shame. Listen...

What is enthusiastic consent and why do we need to talk about it? That's what we're going to delve into in this episode. We have to enthusiastically consent to sex every single time. Just laying there and letting him do whatever he wants isn't enthusiastic consent. Listen in to see how to give enthusiastic consent and how much better it can make your sex life.

In this episode, I am talking to my friend and mentor, Aimée Gianni, about how to have a covenant marriage. So often we stay in our broken marriages because we made a covenant. But what if doing that is actually breaking your covenant?    Aimée offers some amazing things to think about if we are at the point where we are thinking about divorce. Even if we're happy in your marriage, her advice can...

In this episode, I'm talking with fellow coach and my real life best friend, Crystal Hansen, all about how conflict actually builds intimacy in your marriage. I know this sounds counter intuitive, but it really does work. We all want to feel connected and when we try to avoid conflict, that creates a wedge in our relationships. Crystal shares with us Gottman's Four Horsemen of conflict and the ant...

Often in marriage, if there is disconnect in one part of the relationship, there is also disconnect in the bedroom. That's how I came to know my guest today, Lisa. After getting married in the Temple, Lisa's husband had a faith crisis and left the Church. Lisa was angry at him for changing the future that she had envisioned for them. She and her husband found therapy and that really has helped her...

My most downloaded podcast episode is #134 - Masturbation and the Church. I published this episode over 2 years ago and it's still something I get asked about all of the time. It's a hot topic because of the negative messages we have received about masturbation. So, in this episode, we're going to look at how masturbation can increase your connection and intimacy in your marriage, if done in a hea...

I recently had a client tell me that she has forgotten how to flirt. She wanted to find a way to make her marriage feel like more of a partnership rather than a business relationship. So, here is Flirting 101. Maybe it's been awhile, maybe you have never been too good at flirting, but flirting is a great way to connect with your husband on a deeper level. Let me show you how!

I often have women come to me wondering why they've never had an orgasm. I realize how frustrating it is for both the wife and the husband. I want to help! Why? Because pleasure is important! In this episode, we'll talk about the 3 things to rule out physically that could be stopping you from having an orgasm. Then we'll talk about the mental issues that could be keeping you from enjoying orgasms....

You may look at the title of this podcast and think, "What does being a good mom have to do with the bedroom?" My guest, Emily Wardrop of Drop the War Life Coaching, shares with us how your thoughts about how you're doing as a mom affects your whole life, including in the bedroom. Listen to this episode to hear what you can do to not only KNOW that you are a good mom but also KNOW that you are a g...

"How can I teach my kids about sex?" I get this question all of the time. As we are learning and growing, we want to help our kids have a different experience with sex that we had. I get it. So when I heard about Crystal Bowman and her method of talking to kids about sex, I just knew I needed to have her on the podcast. She shares a better way to explain sex to our children than the way most of us...

I have an exciting announcement! On December 6, I am debuting a brand new private podcast called Embracing You! In this new podcast, I will be sharing coaching sessions with women or couples who have signed up to be coached on their relationship. Because I know the power of coaching. I know that while you listen to someone else being coached, you will learn things that will help you in your life....

In this episode, I talk with my good friend and fellow life coach Zach Spafford about modesty and the new For the Strength of Youth guide. We talk about why this new guide is a step in the right direction when we're speaking to our youth about modesty and living the Gospel. How we need to let go of some of the old traditions we were raised with when it comes to modesty and embrace a new way of loo...

In this episode, I am speaking with Rhonda Farr. Rhonda is a life coach who works with men and their emotional intimacy. We talk about the high achieving/peacekeeper dynamic that we see so often in marriages. Usually, it's the husband who is the high achiever and the wife who goes along with what he wants to keep the peace. But as you'll see, this doesn't actually help either party. Rather than fe...

In this special episode, I spoke with Maddie and Matt. I have been coaching Maddie for a little over a year now. We talked about what my coaching program is and what it isn't. We talked about how Maddie being coached has changed not only her relationship with her husband Matt, but also with her kids and other relationships in her life. Matt talked about how even though he doesn't get coached direc...

If I had a dollar for every time a woman told me that their kids were keeping them from having sex, I would have added a lot to my piggy bank. What I have found is that the kids are often a convenient excuse, but really aren't to blame for our lack of sex. In this episode, we're talking about 5 common reasons women give me for children interupting their sex life and the strategies to overcome them...

I think it's safe to say that we all want a great sex life. But most of us just don't know how to get it! When we run into problems with having the sex life we thought we'd have, especially when we waited until marriage, many people, men in particular, feel like they have lost the opportunity to have the best sex of their life. While studies do show that women reach their sexual prime in their thi...

In this episode I'm talking with Mike Frazier, MD of Strong Men, Strong Marriages. I share what the woman thinks when she says that she doesn't care if she ever has sex again. And then Mike lets us in on what the men think about. This is a great episode where you can really see what is going on in your husband's mind when it comes to sex and intimacy and he could get a glimpse into what you think...

Stop settling for bad sex! I talk to a lot of women who just think bad sex is what sex is or that bad sex is better than no sex. This isn't true. You can have a great sex life that is fun for both you and your partner. Listen to this podcast where we talk about what bad sex is and, more importantly, what good sex is. Never settle for bad sex again!

Have you heard the phrase "sex drive"? I'm sure we all have. But in truth, sex isn't a drive, it's a mindset. Why is this important? Because when we think that we need it, or should need it, it becomes a release rather than a way to get closer to our spouse. Listen to this episode to find out what a biological drive actually is, and why it is so important to know that if you don't want sex, you ar...

What is duty sex? Duty sex is when we have sex with our husbands because we "should." Because it is our duty as a good wife. Because he "needs" it. Because we don't want him to look elsewhere for it. Or because we are trying to manage his emotions and behavior with it. We have been convinced that we don't have to want it too. And this simply isn't true! Duty sex is passionless and doesn't create t...