Sex for Saints

Have you ever wondered why intimacy can feel so difficult, even when you've done everything "right"? In this episode, I explore how the messages many women received growing up can quietly shape their relationship with their bodies, their desire, and their marriages long after the wedding day. Through the stories of Rosalie and Hazel, we look at how different experiences can lead to similar struggl...

What if the struggles you're experiencing in your marriage started long before you ever said "I do"? In this episode, I kick off a five-part series exploring the history, teachings, and cultural influences that shaped how many Latter-day Saints think about sexuality, desire, and worthiness today. We trace the roots of purity culture, gender roles, and sexual messaging over the last century and exa...

What happens when "help" from your spouse starts to feel more like criticism? In this episode, I talk about why even well-intentioned advice can feel like an attack when it isn't invited first, especially in conversations about sex and intimacy. I walk through how unsolicited feedback triggers defensiveness in our nervous systems, why both higher-desire and lower-desire spouses fall into this patt...

How do you reconnect with your spouse after so much distance that you're not even sure you want things to go back to the way they were? In this episode, I talk about what often happens when the higher desire partner stops initiating and why that silence can bring both relief and unexpected grief for women. I explore responsive desire, avoidance, emotional safety, and the complicated vulnerability...

When the higher desire partner stops initiating after repeated rejection, it sets off a painful cycle that neither spouse knows how to break. In this episode, we walk through why he pulls back, what that silence creates on her side of the bed, and why both partners need to be initiating for a sex life that actually feels good. I explore the nervous system response behind initiation after a long si...

When sexual rejection builds up in a marriage, it rarely stays contained to the bedroom. It seeps into everything — the emotional atmosphere, the small daily gestures, and eventually the belief that anything will ever change. In this episode, we dig into why rejection hurts as much as it does, how to stop interpreting your wife's "no" as a verdict on your worth, what curiosity can open up that shu...

What happens when a man spends his whole life believing his desire could hurt someone? In this episode, I will explore how religious and cultural messages about male sexuality can lead men to disconnect from their own desire, constantly monitor themselves during sex, and quietly seek validation from their wives without even realizing it. I'll talk about how this pattern shows up differently in mar...

What if the key to a more connected, nourishing sex life is simply slowing down? In this episode of Sex for Saints, I will talk with sex researcher Chelom Leavitt about sexual mindfulness, shame, emotional connection, and why so many women struggle to feel fully present in their sexuality. We will explore how curiosity and non-judgment can transform not only our sexual experiences, but also the wa...

Hard conversations don't fall apart because of what's said, but often because of how they start. In this episode, I will show you why "ambush conversations" trigger defensiveness and disconnection, even when you're trying to fix something important. I will walk you through how to create true consent in conversations by giving context, asking for the right timing, and honoring your spouse's capacit...

What if "protect and provide" isn't outdated, but just misunderstood? In this episode, I will break down how these ideas have quietly shaped marriages and why the old definitions may be leaving couples disconnected. I will walk you through what it will actually look like for a husband to provide emotional safety, real presence, and the kind of connection that makes desire possible. We'll also talk...

What if the tension you feel around sex isn't about your relationship at all, but about being divided within yourself? In this episode, I will unpack what sexual integrity really means and why so many of us feel disconnected, even in good marriages. I will walk through the subtle ways we slip out of alignment. Things like saying yes when we mean no, hiding desires, or going through the motions. An...

What if the very thing you're doing to improve your sex life is actually making it worse? In this episode, I'm breaking down the "fix-it" mentality so many men bring into their relationship and why it creates pressure, shame, and disconnection instead of desire. I share what to do instead, including how to be present, listen without trying to solve, and approach intimacy as a team. We also talk ab...

In this episode, I talk about how most of us have misunderstood foreplay and why it's not just something that happens right before sex. I share how true connection and desire are built throughout the entire day, not just in a rushed few minutes, and walk through five different types of foreplay that most couples are completely overlooking. We'll also get into why slowing down actually creates more...

Have you ever caught yourself wondering, "Did I marry the right person?" I want to show you why that question is actually leading you in the wrong direction and what matters so much more. In this episode, I break down the two things that truly determine whether a relationship will work, and what to do when you feel like you're the only one trying. We'll talk about how to shift the dynamic in your...

If you've been trying everything to fix your sex life and nothing seems to be working, this episode might feel a little uncomfortable, but also like a breath of fresh air. I'm sharing why the harder you push for connection, the more distance you might actually be creating, and what's really going on underneath that dynamic. We'll talk about the subtle pressure that shows up in relationships (even...

In this episode, I talk about a sexual experience that doesn't get discussed nearly enough, mutual masturbation, and why it can be so powerful for connection, communication, and intimacy in marriage. I walk you through how learning your own body is essential before you can share that knowledge with your spouse, and how this experience becomes one of the clearest ways to show each other what actual...

What if intimacy in your marriage didn't actually depend on your spouse showing up first? In this episode, I'm sharing a powerful shift that changes how we think about emotional connection and why so many relationships feel one-sided. We will talk about what intimacy really means and how you can choose to be knowable and curious about your partner, even when they're not meeting you there. I will i...

Many women assume their lack of desire means something is wrong with them, but in this episode, I am going to explain that the real issue is often passive sexuality. We'll explore the difference between waiting for a spouse to create desire and actively engaging with your own sexuality. Through stories from real clients, I'll show how small shifts, like noticing attraction, savoring memories of in...

I want to talk about why sex can feel draining instead of connecting, even when it's happening regularly, and how that disconnect quietly impacts a marriage. What does nourishing sex actually look like and why does obligation, performance, and one-sided dynamics make intimacy feel heavy instead of life-giving? Through real client stories, I will break down how emotional safety, presence, and mutua...

When a woman says she'd be completely fine never having sex again, I know something important has already broken. In this episode, I unpack why so many women in faith-based marriages end up here, even when they once loved sex, and how obligation, pressure, and shame quietly kill desire over time. I walk through both sides of this dynamic, explaining why men often respond with more pursuit and why...

Have you ever had the experience where your spouse walks past you in the kitchen and doesn't even acknowledge you? Or when it seems like they'd rather scroll on their phone than talk to you? In this episode, I break down what it really means to feel desired in marriage and why being wanted is different from being needed. I explain how desire shows up through thoughts, words, actions, and emotional...

In this episode of Sex for Saints, I walk through the six stages of marriage and explain why so many couples feel stuck, disconnected, or ready to give up around stage three. I break down what each stage looks like in real life, from the honeymoon phase to frustration, growth, true love, and legacy, using real client stories to show what's actually happening beneath the conflict. We talk about why...

In this episode, I talk about a struggle I hear from women all the time but that rarely gets named out loud: loving your husband deeply while feeling disconnected from his body. I discuss where that discomfort often comes from, especially for women who grew up with strong messages about modesty, safety, and avoiding anything sexual before marriage. I explain how that conditioning can quietly shape...

In this episode, I'll talk about one of the most painful sexual dynamics I see in marriages: when a wife has been self-betraying for years by having sex she doesn't want, while her husband still feels unsatisfied. I'll explain why orgasms aren't the same thing as satisfaction, and how duty sex can actually block the connection both partners are craving. I'll unpack how this pattern creates deep re...

In this episode, I talk about what happens when a spouse's sexual past becomes a source of anxiety, comparison, guilt, or secrecy inside a marriage. I unpack why obsessive thoughts about a partner's past aren't really about what happened then, but about fear and insecurity now, and why no amount of details ever brings peace. We also look at the other side of the equation: carrying a past you never...