Sex for Saints

We often check in with our finances, our physical health, or our mental health, so why not our relationship health? In this episode, we will talk about why we should measure the quality of our marriages, how to measure both your relationship AND your sexual relationship. And what to do if we find things that we need to address. I would love for each of us to come through this with stronger marriag...

"If you love me…" I've been seeing this phrase thrown around quite a lot lately. My clients often tell me that their spouse has said, "If you love me, you'd have more sex with me." I recently saw in a Facebook group that someone said to their spouse, "If you love me, you'll stop  watching porn." At first glance, this phrase doesn't seem like that big of a deal but it's actually quite damaging in a...

Initiating sex is really important in your relationship, but it can also be really hard. Because of societal norms, we sometimes think that men should always initiate because women should be more passive in bed. This can lead to resentment, especially when he is always being rejected. Now, I'm not saying that women always need to initiate sex or always say yes, but I am saying that talking about i...

Sexual Resentment is a complex emotion where we feel our needs are not being met in one way or another. If we take a step back and look at the stories that we are telling ourselves about our spouse and their inability to meet our needs, we can see that those stories are simply not true. They are not serving us well and in fact are eroding our connection and trust in our marriage. So, how do you ch...

For the last couple of episodes, we've been talking about the different levels of sex. So, in this episode, we're going to talk about the pinnacle of marital intimacy - Level 3 Sex. I'll explain all about what Level 3 Sex is, why couples would aspire to reach it, and how both partners can contribute to this sacred and transformative journey. This is the destination that I want for every couple! Li...

In the last podcast, we talked about Level 1 Sex, what it is, and what we can do about it. So, in this podcast, we are talking about Level 2 Sex, what it is and why you'd want to level up your sex life. Level 2 Sex is not the end of your sexual journey, but rather part of the journey. It's the zone where you're not quite at the peak of desire, but you're certainly not in the valley of disinterest...

In this episode, we're diving into a topic that might resonate with many of you - Level 1 Sex. What is it? What isn't it? And most importantly, how can we move towards a more fulfilling experience in our intimate relationships? I'll answer these questions and more as we discuss how each partner might contribute to Level 1 Sex and why it's hard to break out of it. There is better sex out there my f...

Sexual disappointment is a complex emotion. Whenever we have expectations and those expectations aren't being met, it's natural to be disappointed. But what really matters is how we deal with that disappointment. Do we pretend we're fine? Do we get angry? Do we avoid the emotion? Or do we talk about it? We are surrounded by examples of what a 'real' sexual experience should look like, but they are...

When asked, "Are you using your wife for sex?", most men would say, "Absolutely not"! But is that true? Many men use their wives for sex without even realizing they are doing it. They don't do it maliciously, but that doesn't mean they don't do it. In this episode, let's talk about what it means to use your wife for sex, why you do it, and how to change that habit. This episode is for men and wome...

In this episode, let's talk about one of the most powerful tools in your relationship toolbox - relational listening. What is relational listening? It's more than hearing, it's understanding. So, how do you use it in conversations? Let's talk about that! Listen to this episode to know what to do before, during, and after having a relational conversation with your spouse. Learn how to create a safe...

Sexual desire is much more complex than many of us are led to believe. Desire is multifaceted and must be examined from a biological, psychological, and sociological standpoint. Why do I talk about desire so often? Because a lack of desire is the number one thing that women come to me for help with. They tell me that their desire has just disappeared and they have no idea where it's gone. So, let'...

I've been thinking a lot about what we all want in our relationships and what that means to our relationships. So, today I'm going to share with you the four things that we all want in our sexual relationships. We may call them different things, but everyone wants essentially the same thing. I am also going to talk about what happens when these things we want aren't happening in our sexual relatio...

I am so excited for you to hear this interview with Dr. Kelly Casperson. We talk about what you and your partner need to know about women's hormones. We as women don't get a lot of information about hormones in general but especially during perimenopause and menopause. Even if you're not quite there yet, you are going to want to listen to what Dr. Kelly has to say because we will all go through th...

I know that some of us, both men and women, feel that female-centric sex is selfish. But it absolutely is not! Let's talk about why women may not want to transition to a female-centric approach to sex and why men might not want to as well. But when it comes down to it, a female-centric approach to sex can be a transformative journey for couples, deepening their intimacy, connection, and satisfacti...

At first thought, money and sex may not seem to have a lot in common. But if you think about it, when you improve something about your relationship, it often extends to all of your relationship. That's why I asked Ruth Liebel to join me on the podcast to talk about money. Ruth is an amazing financial coach that will help you see that we often come into our marriages with different ideas of what it...

Sex, intimacy, and personal growth are all tied together. And when your partner doesn't want to grow sexually, but you do, it can cause a lot of conflict. It's not uncommon to find yourself in a situation like this, so in this episode, I'm going to share with you three steps to take to understand the situation completely. I'll even share with you what to say that may help the situation.

I recently was a guest on the Live Your Why podcast with Tammy Hill. I thought the episode was so good, I asked Tammy if I could share it with you as well. She was excited to share what we talked about with you too! So listen in as I share some parts of my story that you may not have heard yet, along with talking about what mature feminine sexuality is. And no, we're not talking about seniors, but...

Wow! Episode 300! I can hardly believe it! I remember nearly six years ago when I started this podcast that I could hardly imagine what 100 episodes would look like, let alone 300. So today's episode is a little different. I asked people to call or write in about an episode that was impactful for them. Join me as I share with you what they had to say. 

Have you ever been on a road trip and heard the words, "Are we there yet?" That person is just focused on the destination, not the journey itself. The same thing happens in our sexual relationships when we just focus on climax. Our world places so much emphasis on instant gratification that it is easy to let that thought into the bedroom. Are we relishing in all of the minute details and interacti...

I have had a lot of questions lately about how to safely have anal sex so I'm going to answer those questions here. Anal sex is often intriguing for many couples, and while there seems to be quite a bit of desire to do it from one or both partners, there's often a reluctance, which is understandable. So whether you're a curious individual or a couple looking to add something new to your repertoire...

I want you to prioritize sex in the new year. I hear from clients all the time that they just don't have time to have sex. That's because you're not making it a priority. Why have more sex? Because it helps you have a healthier and more fulfilling connection with your partner. Here are my practical tips on how to make sex a priority in the new year! You are going to LOVE number 7! We are almost at...

We have often talked about spontaneous desire vs responsive desire on my podcast. But today, I want to go a little deeper into the responsibility you have if you happen to have responsive desire. Often women, and some men, have responsive desire, but that doesn't mean that their partner is always in charge of initiating. You can have a high sex drive and even be the higher desire partner with resp...

Clients will often tell me that they don't need to use lube because there isn't anything wrong with them. This could not be further from the truth! There are many things that will affect your natural lubrication, including stress or dehydration, so having some lube you love at your fingertips will only make sex better. In this episode, we're going to talk about why we use lube, how to choose the r...

This holiday season, can I suggest a new tradition? Giving, and receiving, sexy holiday gifts! When we're thinking about gifts for our spouse, we often think about what they need or want, and while that's great, I think as a couple, it's important to use this time to give each other something that helps turn up the heat and the desire in the bedroom. It doesn't have to be elaborate. It can be as s...

I have a friend who has 7 kids, all born in September. That means that they were all conceived around Christmas. We've often joked about this with her, but it turns out that they aren't the only ones who get especially horny during the holiday season. In fact, more babies are conceived in December than any other month! Why is this? That's what we're talking about in the episode. There are some bio...