Sex for Saints

Did the title of this podcast surprise you? It surprises a lot of my clients too. But it actually makes a lot of sense that you don't like sex. In this episode, we talk about the top reasons why you don't like sex. Which one will resonate with you? Then we talk about why those reasons make it so you don't like sex. Maybe in the end, you'll find that what you've been thinking all along may not be t...

I want to ask you a question. Are you afraid of pleasure? Maybe you're thinking, "Of course not! I find pleasure in my family or my job."  But the pleasure I'm talking about is intimate pleasure. Are you afraid to let go and be vulnerable in order to feel pleasure? Is it easier to focus on your spouse's pleasure rather than yours? In this episode, I share with you why pleasure is important! Why, i...

In this episode, we're talking about pressure. Both the pressure we put on ourselves and the pressure we feel from our spouses. And in reality, how the internal and external pressure isn't good for our marriages. Let's talk about why we put that pressure on and what we can do to let it go and have the relationship we want! Let's get rid of some of that pressure!

In this episode, let's talk about words. What are words? They are just letters and syllables that we have been taught are good or bad. But why are they good or bad? It all comes down to our culture. The English language lacks the subtlety that other languages have when it comes to love and our bodies. Maybe we need to take a look at that and change what we see as "dirty words." Maybe it's time to...

In this episode, I speak with Mike Peterson about his experiences with fixing his sexual relationship in his marriage. I am so excited to share with you the male perspective of what happens in a marriage when you become more like roommates than intimate partners. Mike lives in Sandy, Utah with his wife Tami and their 5 kids. His passion is talking with other men who are struggling in their relatio...

In this episode, I am going to get a little vulnerable with you and talk about my experience with boudoir photography. I, like you, had the wrong idea about what it was and who it was actually for. Through my experience, and the experience of some of my clients, I have found that boudoir photography is less about your husband, and more about you! Once you listen to this episode, maybe your percept...

In American and Conservative Christian culture, we are often taught things about men's sexuality that are myths. Actually, they are really outright lies. In this episode, we go through 3 myths about a man's sexuality in the hopes that as we learn what is really true about men and their sexuality that we can have a more intimate relationship with our partners.

In this episode, I'm speaking with Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife about equality in marriage. This is something that is ingrained in our culture but can be really detrimental to our marriages. We want partnership marriages but to have a partnership marriage, we need to be partners in all aspects of our lives. We discuss how to reframe those ideals we were raised with in order to have the best marriag...

Have you buried your sexual desire? How do you know if you have? In our conservative Christian culture, we are often taught that sex is bad or unpleasant, that thinking about it is sinful, or that we should feel ashamed for having sexual desires. But this isn't how it should be or even has to be! By developing your sexuality, you are going to receive a richness in your life that you have never exp...

Is your husband always initiating sex? In a recent study, that's what they found, that often men are the ones initiating. But why aren't you initiating sex? Today we are looking at the reasons why we as women don't initiate sex, why we should, and how to do it. 

Consent is truly a buzzword right now. In this episode, we take a look at what consent truly means, in your sex life and beyond, and how we can be true to who we really are and say what we really want and need. As women, we are taught to put our desires aside for our husbands and children. Let's really look at that and see if you can find your true desires that you've buried deep down.

Is sex a need? The answer is no...kind of. There are differing viewpoints on how important sex is to each of us, but what we really need to look at is how important it is to us and how we can share that with our partners. Men and women, higher and lower desire partners need to meet their own needs as much as possible. Then your partner is just there for you to love.  It makes for a great marriage...

The 3 keys to any healthy sexual relationship are safety, trust, and vulnerability. And they all build on each other. If we don't feel safe, we can't trust our partner, and in turn, we can't be completely vulnerable with them if we can't trust them. That's why we're talking about safety, trust, and vulnerability in this episode. Let's find ways to help you be courageous and choose to trust, feel s...

I get asked a lot about desire. My clients notice that throughout the month they are either really ready for sex or they don't want it at all. And then I ask them if they've ever tracked their cycle to see if these days coincide with what's going on in their bodies. Most haven't. So today we're going to talk about what is happening in your body during your menstrual cycle and what that means for y...

In our conservative Christian culture, oral sex comes with a lot of hang ups. But it doesn't need to. In this episode, let's talk about how amazing oral sex can be between you and your spouse. Let's look at the hang ups that either spouse might have and see what we can do to help them. After all, a high percentage of women say that oral sex is the most reliable way for them to orgasm. There is a l...

I have some serious concerns about an upcoming Come, Follow Me lesson on pornography.  Hear my concerns and what you can do about it.   https://amandalouder.com/cfm-june-13-pornography/

We have all read those scriptures that tell us that thinking about sex is bad. But, what if we're interpreting those scriptures wrong? In this episode, we explore what those scriptures actually mean and what that means for us and our fantasies. We all have them and that's ok. Don't fight against your fantasies! It's the intention that matters!

Someone shared with me recently that their friend says she has a great sex life, but she won't let her husband watch her undress because she doesn't like her body after having a baby. I want to talk more about that in this episode. Can you really have a great sex life while hating your body? No. As much as you can't hate yourself thin, you can't be fully present in your sex life while hating how y...

How can you go from good sex to great sex? I get so many messages from all of you who have listened to the podcast saying how much it has helped you. This is definitely my calling in life so I love hearing that! But as I work with more and more clients in a group coaching setting, I am realizing that the personalized help you get through group coaching can help your sex life even more! In this epi...

I got asked a question that I didn't know the answer to so I brought in an expert! The question was about sex and menopause. Is it all over once you hit 50? It doesn't have to be! Cami Hurst, a counselor and sex therapist from Meridian, Idaho joins me to in this episode to share her expertise on what to expect with your sex life and menopause. I learned so much from her about what's happening in w...

What do you want out of your marriage? I think we all want our marriages to be healthy and full of passion, right? But, how do you do that? Today I'm talking about the 4 keys to a healthy and passionate marriage. Can you disagree and still be close? Yes! Can you love your spouse for who they are, not who you wish they would be? Absolutely!

When something is scarce, you want it more! (Remember the toilet paper shortage of 2020?) So what does this have to do with sex and marriage? When you're not having sex, you begin to be preoccupied with sex. I see this scarcity mindset show up in my coaching practice in two ways. Either you don't have enough to give or you feel like you need to do more to be fulfilled. In today's episode, we talk...

What exactly is transactional sex?  The idea that your relationship could include this type of sex is probably something you may not even be aware of - but there's definitely a subconscious tracking of who is doing what for who, and when.  Today I am going to give you 7 key warning signs that your sexual relationship is transactional and then what you can do about it.

Have you ever felt a sneeze coming on . . and then it's gone? That is how some of my clients have described their disappearing orgasm.  So today, I have some information on why this happens and 8 steps to help you avoid the disappearing orgasm.  So let's go!

Whether you are in a tropical location, exploring a new city, or tucked away somewhere remote, time out of your usual routine is so good for the mind, body, and for your relationship. Today I will share six main reasons I believe a vacation for you and your partner is an important part of your marriage. I will let you in on a few secrets and tell you all about my 2-2-2 rule.  Want to know more? Tu...