Sex Advice for Seniors Podcast

Premature ejaculation is a "problem" that affects around 30% of the male population, and a further 40%, although not technically in that category, want their orgasm to take longer than it does. Premature ejaculation means the male having an orgasm within one minute of penetration. Of course, in evolutionary terms, this makes perfect sense. One doesn't want to be caught by a predator in the middle...

In this episode, we discuss how getting older inevitably leads to a decline in one's physical capacities. It may also be that as you get older, you have to cope with disabilities which may limit your mobility. You may have some long-term illnesses that, again, act as a barrier to you, being the sort of person that you always wanted to be in retirement. Peter was diagnosed with MS in 2010 when he w...

With apologies for slight lateness, but – it's Christmas! And that is the theme of our podcast this week. For many people, Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year – as the song goes – but for many others, it is also a very problematical time. Statistics show that not only is domestic violence higher at Christmas, but that divorce statistics also reach a high point. There are probably many...

This week we are talking about living together for the first time in our 60s. We are in Las Palmas in Gran Canaria where Suzanne has taken up residence for three months and I have joined her for five weeks – possibly about three weeks too long. This is the first time that we have spent any time together, and during that time, it has become clear that we had a significant disparity of expectations...

Well, we are nearly up to 6 months of this podcast and 25 episodes under our belts. This week, it is just Peter and Suzanne talking about the experience with sex toys. There is a slightly pecuniary reason for doing so in that we want to advertise our sex toy website called Sunset Satisfaction where you can buy sex toys as well as books and other material to do with our favourite subject. In this p...

Here we talk to Barbara Bloomfield about neuro–divergency, and sex, and although the emphasis is not on older people, it is easy to see how the issues overlap and impact on each other. One of the things that older people missed out on when they were growing up back in the 50s and 60s is that many of the things taken for granted today about the way that we are, and the way that we made our way thro...

Lindsay Hamilton is an attachment-based psychoanalytic psychotherapist with a particular interest in psychosexual matters. In this episode, we talk with her about sexual health in general, but, more specifically, about the vaginal atrophy. This is a medical condition which involves the degeneration of various parts of the vagina, the vulva, and even the rectum. As such, it is a condition which obv...

Jan Day is another Tantric teacher, but this episode is less about tantra than it is about the ways in which we set boundaries between each other as a necessary precondition for being open with each other. It is only when we have those boundaries and when we have created a level of trust that we can let each other in to share physical and emotional intimacies. What this episode also makes very cle...

Tantra is one of those aspects of sex and sexuality that is often misunderstood and even ridiculed. Sting is often mentioned in the same breath as tantra and the jokes about having sex for hours on end emanate from that. Although it can be seen as the western co-option of eastern traditions, it essentially represents another attempt to get in touch with our feelings and desires and harness those d...

When there is talk of open relationships or polyamory or any of the other myriad ways of conducting our intimate lives, it is never long before the question of jealousy looms over any discussion. For the vast majority of people, the question of how one should relate to other people in the relationship is one of the great taboos. And yet, as we know from the divorce statistics, meeting someone else...

In this episode, Suzanne reflects on being in an open relationship with no guidebook. Stepping outside of monogamy is a choice that is being made with greater frequency by people of all ages. New apps such as Feeld, for example, have been created specifically for those who choose ethical non-monogamy, polyamory or any other myriad terms now being used to describe sexual fluidity. Being non-monogam...

In this episode we talk about having an active sex life when you have other people in the house. It may be children or lodgers or Airbnb guests, maybe you just have very thin walls between you and next door. Whichever it is we will probably all have been confronted at some stage with the embarrassment of either overhearing other people having sex or being overheard ourselves. For exhibitionists an...

All over the world, a million laptops snap shut as partners walk into a room unexpectedly, and red-faced viewers tell shamefaced and barefaced lies about what they have been watching. Pornography is perhaps the biggest disavowed activity on the planet. It is also one of the most lucrative, with estimates for its worth varying from $10 billion-$100 billion per annum worldwide. Given that much of it...

As we point out in this episode, around 25% of people in a relationship in the UK live apart and we discuss here the relative merits of long-distance relationships. They can be forced onto people by economic circumstance, such as the need to move away for work and such issues, or they can be the result of an active commitment to having separate lives. Older people tend to have less housing pressur...

A perennial subject within the whole area of the relationship between love and sex is working out whether they are one and the same thing or completely separate categories. It could be argued, indeed often is, that love itself is merely a delusion engendered by the human brain to make procreation and child rearing bearable. In this interview with James Earl we discuss whether there is any merit in...

Here we talk about the ways in which our attitudes to our body image both changes over time and the way in which some negative aspects of that body image persist into older age. We discuss the ways in which both genders are trapped in this particular circle of hell and that it is not limited to young people. Older people, too, suffer from worries about their weight and their attractiveness and are...

Cindy Gallop is one of those women from whom energy emanates as waves as well as particles. She has been at the forefront of advertising and public affairs for many years and is also the main engine behind Make Love Not Porn, a site where ordinary people make erotic films and star in them themselves, beyond the clutches of what is often a very exploitative adult film industry. In this episode of S...

This week we discuss what happens in long-term relationships when they have run out of steam. As people live longer and longer and relationships grow proportionately we are increasingly confronted by the question of what they are for. People are asking themselves whether they need to make a break from or make a change within these relationships. About 50% of marriages now end in divorce and the ra...

 What do we do when we can or no longer want to look after ourselves and end up in some sort of institutional care? Jackie Marshall-Cyrus argues in this interview for people to be kept out of institutions where possible and cared for in their homes. Many structural factors stand in the way of this, not least the expense to the state of having separate people living in their own separate domestic a...

This week we interview the trans-performance artist and sculptor, Rita Says about transitioning in your 60s. As you will hear, Rita has, since a very young age felt that she has been in the wrong body. This is not an uncommon experience for trans women and trans men. Gender dysphoria is a very real thing and the efforts being made to help people realign themselves to a point where they can feel co...

This episode is about our fantasies, dreams and desires and the ways in which they can play an important role in our sex lives, especially for those who have got into a bit of a rut over time. Everybody has fantasies and those fantasies take many various forms in the human psyche. Whatever they are, they represent a deep access to our desires. There are many such fantasies which probably should st...

One of the things that has become clear while doing these podcasts is that our backgrounds, the cultures we grew up in and our early sexual experiences have given us a certain privilege when it comes to discussing matters of sexuality. In many countries around the world these discussions would not be possible and particularly women remain in a subordinate role for most of their lives. Female genit...

In this episode, we talk very frankly about desire, fantasies and masturbation. Above all we discuss the differences between men and women and how to navigate the dangerous waters that separate us. We discuss our early experiences around ‘solo sex,’ finding our parent’s Joy of Sex books and, later in life, discovering pornography and how that impacted our relationships with ourselves and our lover...

Episode six is the second part of our interview with Cathy. Although it follows very much from the first part in discussing the socio-economic dimensions of relationships, it brings in lots of new ways of thinking about exactly what is happening between men and women over 50. What happens to relationships when the imbalance between the man and the woman in terms of their earning power has been enm...

This week’s Sex Advice for Seniors is the first part of an interview with someone from the United States who has decided that all relationships after a certain age should become “negotiated". As you will hear, what does essentially means for her is that the vulnerability that women experience in relationships – both financially and emotionally – implies that there has to be a contractual basis for...