Rabbit Troop Sucks

Get ready for Valentine’s Day! La-Mar joins us to go undercover on this top secret and academic mission. Pass high school and save the world. A fun story as old as time. Get ready for Michael Corben (Richard Grieco) and his smoldering antics! But, you don’t need any secret weapons when you have “bitchin’ wheels” and Mariska (Gabrielle Anwar) to hang around with. RTS doesn’t want to break any heart...

You have been warned about the first power! Also, what!? How many powers are there? Lou Diamond Phillips gets a crash course on demonic powers as he investigates a serial killer that continues the body count even after death. We have psychic predictions, getting “horoscoped,” Sister Marguerite brandishing a Jesus blade, a horse trampling, roof jumping from a 10-story building, a spinning ceiling f...

Vic (Don Johnson) has a telepathic link with his dog. That’s cool! That should help after the fallout of WWIV. Note: RTS has standing invites for any and all talking and/or telepathic animals to join us. Between the lack of popcorn for Blood, the night porn arcade, the Screamers, the endless walking and hiding and the need for food, Vic has a lot on his hands. Quilla June (Susanne Benton) enters t...

Happy Lunar New Year! It’s the year of the rabbit! Rabbit Troop? Follow your heart on this! Also, follow Chow Yun-Fat. He might have a yacht you can party on. RTS teams up with Dr. Yuan to cure himself of a recently forgotten blood curse – you know those are the worst. Get naked in a river! Fight off the Worm tribe. Be besties with Dragon. Deal with a high-octave vocal sorcerer dousing a coffin in...

Dr. Eileen Flax is having a terrible day. Is it as terrible as Pierce Brosnan’s French accent? Only you can decide! RTS are in on this anthropological study on Adam Ant’s goth van gang! They’re van people! They’re demons? They’re a bunch of goody two shoes!? Is “crawl metal” a thing? Is this how you make the leap to Predator and Die Hard? It’s all about perspective. Bon, bon!

We are back in Denver while being in Denver! RTS joins Andy on his adventures of writing, exploring, crying during sex and learning about himself. Remember renting movies? Remember the satanic rituals you would rent at Video One? Jill does! Tell us more about the director Michael Krueger! La-Mar is back with us to kick off the new year! Maybe you’d like to share a vision with us. A night vision!

The year is ending! Flashbacks and brief overdubbed narratives aside, the world is going to end too! Will RTS make it to the new year? What would you do if you answered a phone call at a payphone where someone told you the world was going to end? Also, where is the closest payphone? Anthony Edwards is that person! La-Mar is also a person! He joins us on our adventure into the end of the world. Or...

Happy Holidays, everyone! La-Mar joins us for this Christmas trek into the Korvatunturi Mountains. Our friend Rami makes his RTS debut! Grab a hot mug of coco, let a snowflake melt on your tongue, snuggle up and hide your children because Santa’s helpers are rounding up your children in preparation for the Santa excavation. This holiday episode is full of fun and surprises. RTS wishes you a safe a...

36.15 Code Père Noël! Game Over! There is a lot going on in this film! When you live in a lair, you are going to run into some complications – holiday complications. La-Mar joins us on our first non-English film. RTS wants to talk to you about it on your local BBS. Some crazy Santa comes for young Thomas and Papy, and that guy is going to get what he deserves! Join us for secret passages, a comput...

Is this about an alien? An extra-dimensional being? Some solar jerk? Who knows? This entity is on a mission to impregnate everyone in the area. RTS suggest that you consider moving, even if your cottage is a sweet mansion. Sam is going to be abducted and then explodes back into the scene. Rachel is going to be into it. Analise is going to be nude a lot. Tony is going to be covered in blood. And, J...

The music of Black Roses is going to grow on you! RTS is already invested in their message. Soon, all of the town’s teens will be part of the message as well – something about being the evil flower and true followers. We don’t really know. They do have a rad drummer and a bunch of He-Man and Road Warrior villains in the band! And, if the music isn’t entertaining, you are always able to join in a g...

There are only a couple of rules on this island off the coast of Ireland. First, O’shea is gonna drink! Second, grabbers gonna grab! If you can live with that (or attempt to live), you are going to have a fun time! RTS celebrates this Black Friday with you by giving you a glimpse of what you will need for the holiday season, a stiff drink or six. When aliens want to suck your blood, give them a do...

You asked for it! We think you did! It’s a Van-demption! Let Jean-Claude Van Damme lead you and your company retreat into a jungle! RTS learns the true JCVD story here! There will be a tiger too! Between the company’s drug-fueled orgies, nap times and pure chaos led by Rob Huebel, Adam Brody is having a hard time getting to know Megan Boone. Even though everything has gone awry, it doesn’t mean th...

Tournament fights? No! Prison fights and beatings? Yes! There is a lot of hardship in this prison for Jean-Claude Van Damme. He does become besties with a moth, so we have that! Lawrence Taylor will narrate many-a situations to keep it all together. La-Mar joins us on this voyage In Hell. RTS will avoid messing around with JCVD. There is too much Van-damage! Don’t forget, you’re messing around wit...

If you develop a plan to inject yourself with werewolf blood, it’s a bad plan! RTS goes on a scavenger hunt for werewolves. Are you going to play a drinking game for werewolf appearances? Well, you are going to be sober by the end of this film. Why does all the synthetic skin have to turn hard? Why is the soundtrack so epic? Why is Barry Bostwick so mean? You might want to join Debbie for that gla...

It’s Halloween! Happy Halloween from RTS! We take a look at this made for TV film from the 80’s! The lead, Phil (Lee Montgomery), wins Halloween costume of the year! Who doesn’t want to fall in love with a dead cheerleader? This soundtrack is killer (all puns intended)! LeVar Burton does not read you any books! Where is our invite to the Pitchfork Cove Halloween shindig? Always invite witches! La-...

This is our first listener suggestion! Thank you, Andy, for your recommendation. Alison (Cristina Raines) just wants to live her best life in New York in her infinitely large apartment. A bunch of ghost creeps have other plans for her! What secrets does a blind recluse priest hold? Is Ava Gardner your real estate agent? Is Jerry Orbach directing your wine commercial? Is Jeff Goldblum unbuttoning o...

Start playing your vinyl recordings backwards. That’s the only way you are going to get the real answers you have been looking for. Also, you’ll get to summon and meet a legendary rocker, Sammi Curr! Don’t blame RTS, Marc Price did it! Also, when are we all going to this pool party we have heard about? Leslie invited us. Is that cool? Gene Simmons is Nuke! Ozzy Osbourne is a reverend! Don’t get su...

Attention! Listen to the alien on your television! It’s warning you! But, if you don’t pay attention to that in your pleasure den or dome, then you have options. Fancy a drink made by Spiro? Want to hang out in a basement bunker and eat some lizard tails? Swing with mom and dad? O.D. will share his musical genius with you. Suzy, run while you can! RTS needs your alien satellite feed! There are whi...

A man jumps through a wooden door! Is there anything else to know? Probably! What plans did that kid have? How many people are driving around? Why is someone’s dad hanging with these kids? Why are these people here? How long does it take until you become a mansion creep? Isabelle deserves so much better! RTS has many questions about this film. Also, bring back ALL the episodes of Are You Afraid of...

Play it cool at the border! RTS warned you! You are now taking a grand tour of the fortress you’ll be staying in forever. Chris makes his RTS debut within this underground prison! La-Mar joins us as well. This is the most action-packed crowd RTS has recorded. If anyone else joined, we would be taken to the fortress! But Kirkwood Smith would be our companion. So, that’s cool! And, there are many Ch...

The future seems bleak! When coffee is “going to cost you,” RTS would leave that future too! Rico makes his RTS debut to analyze a story about time traveling Jack Deth. The main character is named JACK DETH! Helen Hunt is into it! The Trancer franchise begins here! You think you know someone and sometimes they just turn into a “trancer.” That’s a real squid move!

What kind of ancient Chinese talisman do you have? Our friend Nemo makes her RTS debut to discuss this and a hunky boy smokeshow. Do you want to join Power Corps? Probably not! Whips, fists and mystic powers! 90’s attire and night gangs. Just another night on the town – especially for the Lee brothers. Will Bo Abobo eventually go on Iron Chef? Robert Patrick becomes a samurai demon. What do these...

The dangers of wearing an eggroll costume are revealed. Warn the spareribs! If you have a mayonnaise face, RTS will tell you, friend. La-Mar joins in on the analysis of the analyst. Leave the children’s backpacks out of this! Avoid bathroom sinks! Are you willing to join the Mint Julep Club? Also, “this is going to be good for you.”

RTS are jealous over Edward Furlong’s sweet pad! Outdated technology! Yes, please! Games sent to players in the mail! 4 discs to rule them all! Love is when you and your neighbor spy on one another! There’s the Trickster and metal! How many witnesses are there? So, there are more witnesses? Okay, we know this game! More witnesses!