Rabbit Troop Sucks

There will be no whips or spiritual artifacts where you are venturing off to. But, you will be given reminders of Indiana Jones all throughout this film. RTS tags along with treasure hunter and adventurer Allan Quatermain (Richard Chamberlain) in search of Jesse’s (Sharon Stone) father and the road to riches. Maybe the real treasure is in their hearts. Colonel Bockner (Herbert Lom) and Dogati (Joh...

Welcome to the ghost boat! RTS join a team of salvagers – led by Murphy (Gabriel Byrne) to explore a lost passenger ship from 1962. It’s not all fun and games on the Bering Sea. Epps (Julianna Margulies) takes a nice stroll to the boat’s pool. Dodge (Ron Eldard) and Munder (Karl Urban) enjoy some delicious culinary delights. Greer (Isaiah Washington) enjoys a song. And, Emily Browning creeps aroun...

If your plan is to tell everyone that you trained Bruce Lee or trained with him and have no martial arts skills, it’s a bad plan! Luckily, our beaten down protagonists, Chic (Sid Campbell) and Bernie (Eric Lee), are willing to train to the max! This improves their relationship status with women and their self-esteem. Sonny (Frank Navarro) will team up after accepting a three-year challenge. And on...

RTS might be at home in dystopian futures. Enter Griffin (Corey Haim). He has established himself since he was eight years old (or before). He’s got all the moves, but he doesn’t have the world currency needed to make a better life for himself and his down-to-mist brother, Miltie (Devin Clark). Gary Lee (Christopher Collet) might have solutions. Friendship like this is everlasting. Casey (Patricia...

Happy St. Patrick’s Day! Join RTS on a journey to find the most delicious green jam in all of the land. Wait!? That doesn’t seem right. This is more about Jimmy (Eddie Griffin) who wins a poetry contest and a bar in Ireland. This village and Jimmy have a lot to learn from each other. Even if Euros are owed, love could be in the air. Also, nets will be thrown! La-Mar joins us for the magic of Irela...

Thank you to Kara for this listener request. This film has a bit of everything. Rockabilly and surf rock set the stage for this unique adventure in an alt-universe where Russia has nuked and taken over the U.S. RTS joins Buddy (Jefferey Falcon) as he makes his way to “Lost Vegas” to become the successor to Elvis. This 90s world needs a new king! But a kid melting hearts and death and his metal hor...

John Buckner (Kiefer Sutherland) is finally bringing radical Huey Walker (Dennis Hopper) to jail. But, Walker’s hippy way of thinking might just bring out the past in John. RTS will be with you on a long, long train ride. We get to see Union Station! You’ll be delighted as the ever-charming Carol Kane and her unfortunate character Maggie suck your soul out with an endless Time Life Classics-esque...

At the beginning of the year, we received a listener request. Thank you, Hillary! RTS have a view from the sidelines as Goldie Hawn kills it as a newly appointed football coach getting a bunch of inner-city Chicago high schoolers into shape. See the film debuts of Wesley Snipes and Woody Harrelson. Sip on spiked punch with Robyn Lively! Have some cake with Finch (Tab Thacker). Find out why Frank (...

How hard are you rocking out to Dragon Sound? You aren’t rockin’ as hard as you can or should be! They just want to be your friends forever. Integrity? Loyalty? Honesty? This martial arts band has it all. When they aren’t fighting ninjas and crime syndicates in Florida, they are studying for the big exam – in what? We do not know. RTS have front row tickets for this rock-fueled battle royale. Are...

Get ready for Valentine’s Day! La-Mar joins us to go undercover on this top secret and academic mission. Pass high school and save the world. A fun story as old as time. Get ready for Michael Corben (Richard Grieco) and his smoldering antics! But, you don’t need any secret weapons when you have “bitchin’ wheels” and Mariska (Gabrielle Anwar) to hang around with. RTS doesn’t want to break any heart...

You have been warned about the first power! Also, what!? How many powers are there? Lou Diamond Phillips gets a crash course on demonic powers as he investigates a serial killer that continues the body count even after death. We have psychic predictions, getting “horoscoped,” Sister Marguerite brandishing a Jesus blade, a horse trampling, roof jumping from a 10-story building, a spinning ceiling f...

Vic (Don Johnson) has a telepathic link with his dog. That’s cool! That should help after the fallout of WWIV. Note: RTS has standing invites for any and all talking and/or telepathic animals to join us. Between the lack of popcorn for Blood, the night porn arcade, the Screamers, the endless walking and hiding and the need for food, Vic has a lot on his hands. Quilla June (Susanne Benton) enters t...

Happy Lunar New Year! It’s the year of the rabbit! Rabbit Troop? Follow your heart on this! Also, follow Chow Yun-Fat. He might have a yacht you can party on. RTS teams up with Dr. Yuan to cure himself of a recently forgotten blood curse – you know those are the worst. Get naked in a river! Fight off the Worm tribe. Be besties with Dragon. Deal with a high-octave vocal sorcerer dousing a coffin in...

Dr. Eileen Flax is having a terrible day. Is it as terrible as Pierce Brosnan’s French accent? Only you can decide! RTS are in on this anthropological study on Adam Ant’s goth van gang! They’re van people! They’re demons? They’re a bunch of goody two shoes!? Is “crawl metal” a thing? Is this how you make the leap to Predator and Die Hard? It’s all about perspective. Bon, bon!

We are back in Denver while being in Denver! RTS joins Andy on his adventures of writing, exploring, crying during sex and learning about himself. Remember renting movies? Remember the satanic rituals you would rent at Video One? Jill does! Tell us more about the director Michael Krueger! La-Mar is back with us to kick off the new year! Maybe you’d like to share a vision with us. A night vision!

The year is ending! Flashbacks and brief overdubbed narratives aside, the world is going to end too! Will RTS make it to the new year? What would you do if you answered a phone call at a payphone where someone told you the world was going to end? Also, where is the closest payphone? Anthony Edwards is that person! La-Mar is also a person! He joins us on our adventure into the end of the world. Or...

Happy Holidays, everyone! La-Mar joins us for this Christmas trek into the Korvatunturi Mountains. Our friend Rami makes his RTS debut! Grab a hot mug of coco, let a snowflake melt on your tongue, snuggle up and hide your children because Santa’s helpers are rounding up your children in preparation for the Santa excavation. This holiday episode is full of fun and surprises. RTS wishes you a safe a...

36.15 Code Père Noël! Game Over! There is a lot going on in this film! When you live in a lair, you are going to run into some complications – holiday complications. La-Mar joins us on our first non-English film. RTS wants to talk to you about it on your local BBS. Some crazy Santa comes for young Thomas and Papy, and that guy is going to get what he deserves! Join us for secret passages, a comput...

Is this about an alien? An extra-dimensional being? Some solar jerk? Who knows? This entity is on a mission to impregnate everyone in the area. RTS suggest that you consider moving, even if your cottage is a sweet mansion. Sam is going to be abducted and then explodes back into the scene. Rachel is going to be into it. Analise is going to be nude a lot. Tony is going to be covered in blood. And, J...

The music of Black Roses is going to grow on you! RTS is already invested in their message. Soon, all of the town’s teens will be part of the message as well – something about being the evil flower and true followers. We don’t really know. They do have a rad drummer and a bunch of He-Man and Road Warrior villains in the band! And, if the music isn’t entertaining, you are always able to join in a g...

There are only a couple of rules on this island off the coast of Ireland. First, O’shea is gonna drink! Second, grabbers gonna grab! If you can live with that (or attempt to live), you are going to have a fun time! RTS celebrates this Black Friday with you by giving you a glimpse of what you will need for the holiday season, a stiff drink or six. When aliens want to suck your blood, give them a do...

You asked for it! We think you did! It’s a Van-demption! Let Jean-Claude Van Damme lead you and your company retreat into a jungle! RTS learns the true JCVD story here! There will be a tiger too! Between the company’s drug-fueled orgies, nap times and pure chaos led by Rob Huebel, Adam Brody is having a hard time getting to know Megan Boone. Even though everything has gone awry, it doesn’t mean th...

Tournament fights? No! Prison fights and beatings? Yes! There is a lot of hardship in this prison for Jean-Claude Van Damme. He does become besties with a moth, so we have that! Lawrence Taylor will narrate many-a situations to keep it all together. La-Mar joins us on this voyage In Hell. RTS will avoid messing around with JCVD. There is too much Van-damage! Don’t forget, you’re messing around wit...

If you develop a plan to inject yourself with werewolf blood, it’s a bad plan! RTS goes on a scavenger hunt for werewolves. Are you going to play a drinking game for werewolf appearances? Well, you are going to be sober by the end of this film. Why does all the synthetic skin have to turn hard? Why is the soundtrack so epic? Why is Barry Bostwick so mean? You might want to join Debbie for that gla...

It’s Halloween! Happy Halloween from RTS! We take a look at this made for TV film from the 80’s! The lead, Phil (Lee Montgomery), wins Halloween costume of the year! Who doesn’t want to fall in love with a dead cheerleader? This soundtrack is killer (all puns intended)! LeVar Burton does not read you any books! Where is our invite to the Pitchfork Cove Halloween shindig? Always invite witches! La-...